DC: While you're at the state fair this year, be sure to stop by the Complimentary Compliments booth.
All the hubbub and hoo hah of the fair can leave a person feeling small. You get an elbow in the ribs at the French Fry booth ...
TK: OW! Ah!
DC: ... and ketchup spills down your shirt. The carnies bother you ..
TK: (off mic) Hey buddy! Yeah, you! Slim! Come win a prize for your sweetie, Slim! Yeah, you with the sunken chest! Hey, buddy, I'm talkin' to YOU! (fade out) Ain't you man enough to win a stuffed bear, you wimp!
DC: People seem to see you as a likely candidate for everything. You hate going into the grandstand, but somebody drags you there and the gizmo hawkers swarm around you.
TK: Hey, you ever notice how your salad looks flat? Listen ... you can really impress your friends with the Gizco Salad Fluffer! Look! Just like a Salad Bar! (fade) Hey .... HEY! Ah, your friends will never be impressed with you ANYWAY!
DC: If you need an extra shot of esteem to push your way through the crowds, why not stop by the Complimentary Compliments booth and have an off duty livestock judge build you up a little bit?
TK: (w/cheap mic) Ok ... I like the squareness of the shoulders here ... this is excellent the way the head extends with chin UP. We like to see this in a mature adult. And the legs and ankles are very well formed. The weight is appropriate for build .. there's a nice warm, dry nose.
An extremely healthy looking entry and OBVIOUSLY well cared for. I give this one a BLUE RIBBON!
DC: A lot of people can have their spirits lifted by this kind of assessment, but for some, a physical once over by a stranger may NOT be an esteem building exercise. Just say so! At the State Fair Compliments booth, we make adjustments to please you.
TK: (w/cheap mic) I'm impressed with the vocal opinionated nature of this entrant. There's no fear of speaking up and that's something we like to see.
Very well formed sense of self up here, and through here and here. This is an area of Superior intelligence, reflected by head shape. Notice the Presence of Mind. Even as I speak, the alert, clear eyes are giving me the once over ... measuring EVERY WORD I say. Don't worry ... I give you very high marks. BEST OF SHOW!
DC: Esteem dragging? Stop by the Complimentary Compliments booth where off duty livestock judges are waiting to rejuvenate you. These confidence building sessions are absoulety free and if they're not satisfactorially complimentary, you'll get a refund with our compliments.