Tuesday, September 23, 2014

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The Morning Show
SCRIPT 4
Heartburn

DC: A lot of people look forward to the state fair every year because it's so familiar. They have a plan. They have expectations. They have a routine. They KNOW what will happen.

TK: (guy) I'll get to the fair and I'll eat my favorite items in the following order: corn dogs, a foot long smothered in sauerkraut, cheese curds, cotton candy, mini donuts, french fries, onion rings and Veal Parmesan on a Stick. Then I rest for an hour. And after that, I have a milk shake, buffalo wings, cod on a stick, a bomb pop, the giant pretzel and stuffed pizza. After that .... I'll have a little heartburn.

DC: A little heartburn. The esophagal lining ... irritated by stomach acids. A condition which can be aggravated by fatty and spicy foods. Heartburn. The official malady of the Minnesota State Fair.

TK: (guy) Actually I don't even have to eat the stuff. As soon as I pass through the gate to the fairgrounds, I start to get a little heartburn.

DC: Heartburn is your body's voice telling you to knock it off. We know we should LISTEN to our bodies. HONOR our bodies. But do we?

TK: (guy) I gotta find a way to make that voice shut up, or I won't have any fun here. That's why I pack my State Fair fanny pack with GASTRO FP.

DC: GASTRO FP, the new over the counter Heartburn remedy. Like Zantac®, Pepcid® and Tagament®, GASTRO FP is a pill you can take BEFORE you get heartburn when you THINK you're gonna get it so that you DON'T get it after all.

The others suppress the production of that irritating acid. Gastro FP takes a different approach. It increases the size of your stomach. That's what the FP stands for. Full Paunch.

TK: (guy) I take a GASTRO FP, and I can actually feel my stomach getting bigger. Ten minutes later ...my stomach sags out the bottom of my shirt! And that's good news cause I can EAT MORE! Some people are self conscious about that ... but at the State Fair, the saggier your stomach, the more it hangs out, and the more it hangs out, the more you fit in.

DC: Gastro FP relaxes the stomach walls, allowing it to stretch so that it fits your appetite. And it only stands to reason - with a bigger stomach, the same amount of acid will be less likely to cause heartburn. GASTRO FP, the big stomach pill. Take only as directed, and dress appropriately.

TK: Wear a belt!