");vwo_$('head').append(_vwo_sel);return vwo_$('head')[0] && vwo_$('head')[0].lastChild;})("HEAD")}}, C_940895_39_1_2_0:{ fn:function(log,nonce=''){return (function(x) {
try{
var _vwo_sel = vwo_$("`);
!vwo_$("head").find('#1740425171461').length && vwo_$('head').append(_vwo_sel);}catch(e) {console.error(e)}
try{}catch(e) {console.error(e)}
try{const getCurrentDate = (d = new Date()) => d.toISOString().split('T')[0];
function vwoCustomEvent (labelValue) {
window.VWO = window.VWO || [];
VWO.event = VWO.event || function () {VWO.push(["event"].concat([].slice.call(arguments)))};
VWO.event("customEvent", { "label": labelValue.toString() });
}
class RadioButtonComponent {
constructor (element) {
this.radio = element.querySelector('input[type="radio"]');
this.label = element.querySelector('label');
}
get value () {
let value = this.radio.value;
if (Number.isNaN(parseFloat(value)))
return value;
if (parseFloat(value) % 1 == 0)
return parseInt(value);
return parseFloat(value);
}
set value (newValue) {
this.radio.value = newValue;
}
get text () {
return this.label.textContent;
}
set text (newText) {
if (this.label.querySelector('.form-required')) {
const labelTextNode = [...this.label.childNodes].filter(({ nodeType }) => nodeType === Node.TEXT_NODE)[0];
labelTextNode.nodeValue = newText;
} else {
this.label.textContent = newText;
}
}
get checked () {
return this.radio.checked;
}
set checked (bool) {
this.click(),
bool === true && this.radio.checked === true;
}
click () {
this.label.click();
}
select () {
this.click();
}
addEventListener (eventType, callbackFunction) {
switch (eventType) {
case 'click':
this.label.addEventListener(eventType, callbackFunction);
case 'change':
default:
this.radio.addEventListener(eventType, callbackFunction);
}
}
}
class TextFieldComponent {
constructor (element) {
this.input = element.querySelector('input[type="text"]');
this.label = element.querySelector('label');
}
get value () {
return this.input.value;
}
set value (newValue) {
this.input.dispatchEvent(new Event('focus'));
this.input.value = newValue;
this.input.dispatchEvent(new Event('keyup'));
this.input.dispatchEvent(new Event('change'));
this.input.dispatchEvent(new Event('blur'));
}
get text () {
return this.input.placeholder;
}
set text (newText) {
this.input.placeholder = newText;
}
addEventListener (eventType, callbackFunction) {
this.input.addEventListener(eventType, callbackFunction);
}
}
class GiftArrayButton extends RadioButtonComponent {
constructor (element) {
super(element);
}
get amount () {
return this.value;
}
set amount (newAmount) {
if (Number.isNaN(parseInt(newAmount)) || parseInt(newAmount) <= 0)
throw new Error("New amount must be a valid number greater than 0.");
newAmount = parseInt(newAmount);
this.text = '$' + newAmount;
this.value = newAmount;
}
}
class GiftArrayOtherAmount extends TextFieldComponent {
constructor (element) {
super(element);
}
get amount () {
return parseFloat(this.value);
}
set amount (newAmount) {
if (Number.isNaN(parseInt(newAmount)) || parseInt(newAmount) <= 0)
throw new Error("New amount must be a valid number greater than 0.");
newAmount = parseFloat(newAmount);
this.value = newAmount;
this.input.dispatchEvent(new Event('updateSummary'));
}
}
class GiftArray extends Array {
constructor (items) {
if (!Array.isArray(items) && items.length === 0) {
throw new Error("GiftArray: Arugment 1 is not an instance of Array with a length greater than 0:" + items.join(', '));
}
if (items.every((item) => item instanceof GiftArrayButton || item instanceof GiftArrayOtherAmount)) {
if (items.find((item) => item instanceof GiftArrayOtherAmount)) {
let temp = items.find((item) => item instanceof GiftArrayOtherAmount);
items = items.filter((item) => item instanceof GiftArrayButton);
items.push(temp);
}
} else if (items.every((item) => item instanceof HTMLElement)) {
items = items.map((item) => item.matches(".webform-component-textfield") ? new GiftArrayOtherAmount(item) : new GiftArrayButton(item));
} else {
throw new Error("GiftArray: Arugment 1 is not of type HTMLElement, HTMLElement[], or GiftArrayButton|GiftArrayButton[]:" + items.join(', '));
}
super(...items);
this.Buttons = items.filter((item) => item instanceof GiftArrayButton);
this.OtherAmountInput = items.find((item) => item instanceof GiftArrayOtherAmount);
}
get amount () {
const activeButton = this.Buttons.find((item) => item.checked);
if (activeButton.value === "other") {
const otherButton = activeButton;
if (!otherButton) {
throw new Error("GiftArray.amount: Other Button was not defined.");
}
otherButton.click();
return this.OtherAmountInput.value;
} else {
return activeButton.value;
}
}
set amount (newAmount) {
if (Number.isNaN(parseInt(newAmount)) || parseInt(newAmount) <= 0)
throw new Error("New amount must be a valid number greater than 0.");
newAmount = parseFloat(newAmount);
const matchingButton = this.find((item) => item.value === newAmount);
if (matchingButton) {
matchingButton.click();
} else {
const otherButton = this.Buttons.find((item) => item.value === "other");
otherButton.click();
this.OtherAmountInput.amount = newAmount;
}
}
addEventListeners (eventType, callbackFunction, filter = undefined) {
if (filter && typeof filter === 'function') {
const filteredItems = this.filter((item) => filter.call(this, item));
filteredItems.forEach((item) => item.addEventListener(eventType, callbackFunction));
} else if (filter && typeof filter === 'string') {
if (filter.match(/buttons/gmi))
this.Buttons.forEach((item) => item.addEventListener(eventType, callbackFunction));
if (filter.match(/other/gmi))
this.OtherAmountInput.addEventListener(eventType, callbackFunction);
} else {
this.forEach((item) => item.addEventListener(eventType, callbackFunction));
}
}
}
class FrequencyButton extends RadioButtonComponent {
constructor (element) {
super(element);
}
get frequency () {
return this.text.match(/Monthly/gmi) ? "Monthly" : "One-Time";
}
set freqency (newAmount) {
if (Number.isNaN(parseInt(newAmount)) || parseInt(newAmount) <= 0)
throw new Error("New amount must be a valid number greater than 0.");
newAmount = parseInt(newAmount);
this.text = '$' + newAmount;
this.value = newAmount;
}
}
class FrequencyArray extends Array {
constructor (items) {
if (!Array.isArray(items) && items.length === 0) {
throw new Error("FrequencyArray: Arugment 1 is not an instance of Array with a length greater than 0:" + items.join(', '));
}
/*if (items.every((item) => item instanceof GiftArrayButton || item instanceof GiftArrayOtherAmount)) {
if (items.find((item) => item instanceof GiftArrayOtherAmount)) {
let temp = items.find((item) => item instanceof GiftArrayOtherAmount);
items = items.filter((item) => item instanceof GiftArrayButton);
items.push(temp);
}
} else*/ if (items.every((item) => item instanceof HTMLElement)) {
items = items.map((item) => item.matches(".webform-component-textfield") ? new GiftArrayOtherAmount(item) : new GiftArrayButton(item));
} else {
throw new Error("FrequencyArray: Arugment 1 is not of type HTMLElement or HTMLElement[]:" + items.join(', '));
}
super(...items);
this.Buttons = items.filter((item) => item instanceof GiftArrayButton);
}
get frequency () {
const activeButton = this.Buttons.find((item) => item.checked);
if (activeButton.value === "recurs")
return "monthly";
if (activeButton.value === "NO_RECURR")
return "one-time";
return activeButton.value;
}
set frequency (newFrequency) {
const reNewFrequencyValue = new RegExp(newFrequency, 'gmi');
const matchingButton = this.find((item) => item.value.match(reNewFrequencyValue) || item.text.match(reNewFrequencyValue));
matchingButton.click();
}
get recurring () {
return this.frequency === "monthly" ? true : false;
}
set recurring (bool) {
this.frequency = bool === true ? "monthly" : "one-time";
}
addEventListeners (eventType, callbackFunction, filter = undefined) {
if (filter && typeof filter === 'function') {
const filteredItems = this.filter((item) => filter.call(this, item));
filteredItems.forEach((item) => item.addEventListener(eventType, callbackFunction));
} else if (filter && typeof filter === 'string') {
if (filter.match(/buttons/gmi))
this.Buttons.forEach((item) => item.addEventListener(eventType, callbackFunction));
if (filter.match(/other/gmi))
this.OtherAmountInput.addEventListener(eventType, callbackFunction);
} else {
this.forEach((item) => item.addEventListener(eventType, callbackFunction));
}
}
}
//
const lockedProperty = { writable: false, configurable: false, enumerable: true };
function DonationFormAPI (elements, options = {}) {
const defaultOptions = {
min: 1.00,
max: 999999.99,
makeTabbed: false,
fakeSubmit: true,
overrideGiftArrayValues: false,
};
options = { ...defaultOptions, ...options };
//
const { frequencyRadios, submitButton, root } = elements;
const [ amountRadiosOnetime, amountRadiosMonthly ] = elements.amountRadios;
const oneTimeOtherAmountWrapper = amountRadiosOnetime.find((div) => !div.matches('.webform-component-textfield') || div.querySelector('input[type="text"]'));
const oneTimeRadioButtons = amountRadiosOnetime.filter((div) => div !== oneTimeOtherAmountWrapper);
const monthlyOtherAmountWrapper = amountRadiosMonthly.find((div) => !div.matches('.webform-component-textfield') || div.querySelector('input[type="text"]'));
const monthlyRadioButtons = amountRadiosMonthly.filter((div) => div !== monthlyOtherAmountWrapper);
const debug = {
log: (...args) => window.NA.DonationForm.DEBUG_MODE && console.log(...args),
info: (...args) => window.NA.DonationForm.DEBUG_MODE && console.log(...args),
warn: (...args) => window.NA.DonationForm.DEBUG_MODE && console.log(...args),
error: (...args) => window.NA.DonationForm.DEBUG_MODE && console.log(...args),
};
//
const api = new Object();
Object.defineProperty(api, 'root', {
value: root,
writable: false,
configurable: true,
enumerable: true,
});
Object.defineProperties(api, {
'FORM_MINIMUM': {
value: options.min || 0,
...lockedProperty
},
'FORM_MAXIMUM': {
value: options.max || Infinity,
...lockedProperty
},
});
Object.defineProperties(api, {
GiftArrays: {
value: {
"one-time": new GiftArray([ ...oneTimeRadioButtons, oneTimeOtherAmountWrapper ]),
"monthly": new GiftArray([ ...monthlyRadioButtons, monthlyOtherAmountWrapper ]),
},
writable: false,
configurable: true,
enumerable: true,
},
Frequencies: {
value: new FrequencyArray(frequencyRadios),
writable: false,
configurable: true,
enumerable: true,
},
SubmitButton: {
value: submitButton,
writable: false,
configurable: false,
enumerable: true,
}
});
Object.defineProperties(api, {
'getFrequency': {
value: async function () {
if (!this || this === null) throw new Error("validate: Unable to read API context.");
return new Promise((resolve, reject) => {
try {
resolve(this.Frequencies.frequency);
} catch (error) {
reject(error);
}
});
}, ...lockedProperty
},
'setFrequency': {
value: async function (frequency) {
if (!this || this === null) throw new Error("validate: Unable to read API context.");
return new Promise(async (resolve, reject) => {
try {
this.Frequencies.frequency = frequency;
if (await this.getFrequency() === frequency)
resolve(frequency);
} catch (error) {
reject(error);
}
});
}, ...lockedProperty
},
'getAmount': {
value: async function (frequency = undefined) {
if (!this || this === null) throw new Error("validate: Unable to read API context.");
return new Promise(async (resolve, reject) => {
try {
frequency = frequency || await this.getFrequency();
if (frequency && this.GiftArrays.hasOwnProperty(frequency)) {
const activeGiftArray = this.GiftArrays[frequency];
resolve(activeGiftArray.amount);
} else {
throw new Error("getAmount: Invalid frequency: " + frequency);
}
} catch (error) {
reject(error);
}
});
}, ...lockedProperty
},
'setAmount': {
value: async function (amount, frequency = undefined) {
if (!this || this === null) throw new Error("validate: Unable to read API context.");
return new Promise(async (resolve, reject) => {
try {
const currentFrequency = await this.getFrequency();
if (!frequency) {
frequency = currentFrequency;
} else if (frequency !== currentFrequency) {
frequency = await this.setFrequency(frequency);
}
if (frequency && this.GiftArrays.hasOwnProperty(frequency)) {
const activeGiftArray = this.GiftArrays[frequency];
activeGiftArray.amount = amount;
} else {
throw new Error("setAmount: Invalid frequency: " + frequency);
}
if (await this.getAmount() === amount)
resolve(amount);
} catch (error) {
reject(error);
}
});
}, ...lockedProperty
},
'getRecurring': {
value: async function () {
if (!this || this === null) throw new Error("validate: Unable to read API context.");
return new Promise((resolve, reject) => {
try {
resolve(this.Frequencies.recurring);
} catch (error) {
reject(error);
}
});
}, ...lockedProperty
},
'setRecurring': {
value: async function (bool) {
if (!this || this === null) throw new Error("validate: Unable to read API context.");
return new Promise(async (resolve, reject) => {
try {
this.Frequencies.frequency = bool ? true : false;
if (await this.getRecurring() === bool)
resolve(bool);
} catch (error) {
reject(error);
}
});
}, ...lockedProperty
},
freqency: {
get () { return this.getFrequency() },
set (value) { this.setFrequency(value) },
enumerable: true, configurable: true,
},
amount: {
get () { return this.getAmount() },
set (value) { this.setAmount(value) },
enumerable: true, configurable: true,
},
recurring: {
get () { return this.getRecurring() },
set (value) { this.setRecurring(value) },
enumerable: true, configurable: true,
},
});
Object.defineProperties(api, {
'submit': {
value: async function (condition = this.validate||function(){return true}) {
//this.hooks['onBeforeSubmit'].forEach((callback) => callback.call(this));
let result;
const isAsyncFunction = (func) => func.constructor.name === "AsyncFunction";
if (Array.isArray(condition)) {
if (condition.every((c) => typeof c === 'function' && isAsyncFunction(c))) {
result = await Promise.all(condition.map(async (c) => await c.call(this)));
} else if (condition.every((c) => typeof c === 'function')) {
result = condition.every((c) => c.call(this));
} else if (condition.every((c) => c === true || c === false)) {
result = condition.every((c) => c);
}
} else if (typeof condition === 'function' && isAsyncFunction(condition)) {
result = await condition.call(this);
} else if (typeof condition === 'function') {
result = condition.call(this);
} else if (condition === true || condition === false) {
result = condition;
} else {
console.error("Unknown error.");
debugger;
}
//
if (result === true) {
if (window.NA.DonationForm.hasOwnProperty("DEBUG_MODE") && window.NA.DonationForm["DEBUG_MODE"] == true)
return console.log("Submit aborted (debug mode is enabled).");
this.SubmitButton.click(),
this.hooks['onSubmit'].forEach((callback) => callback.call(this));
//this.hooks['onAfterSubmit'].forEach((callback) => callback.call(this));
} else {
return console.log("Submit failed (conditions did not evaluate to true).");
}
}, ...lockedProperty
},
'interceptSubmit': {
value: function (handleInterceptedSubmit = () => { return new Promise((resolve) => resolve(undefined)) }) {
try {
window.NA.DonationForm.SubmitButtonCopy = window.NA.DonationForm.SubmitButtonCopy || createNewSubmitButton(window.NA.DonationForm.SubmitButton, { cloneOriginal: false, hideOriginal: true, observeOriginal: false });
window.NA.DonationForm.SubmitButtonCopy.addEventListener('click', async (event) => {
event.preventDefault(), event.stopPropagation();
const shouldFormSubmit = await handleInterceptedSubmit.call(this, event);
if (shouldFormSubmit) {
console.info("Submit allowed by initial interceptSubmit callback function resulting in a truthy evaluation.");
const formIsValid = await window.NA.DonationForm.validate();
if (!formIsValid) { // if submit allowed but there are known errors in the form
console.warn("Form has known errors. Attempting to submit to show errors then retrying.");
console.log("Submitting...");
window.NA.DonationForm.submit(true); // submit anyway to trigger the error to be shown
window.NA.DonationForm.SubmitButton.style.setProperty("display", "none"), debug.info("SubmitButton hidden."), // hide the original submit button again
window.NA.DonationForm.SubmitButtonCopy.style.setProperty("display", "none"), debug.info("SubmitButtonCopy hidden."); // hide the copy of the submit button again
window.NA.DonationForm.SubmitButtonCopy.style.removeProperty("display"), debug.info("SubmitButtonCopy unhidden."); // show the copy of the submit button
} else {
console.log("Submitting...");
window.NA.DonationForm.submit(true);
}
} else {
console.log("Submit prevented.");
console.info("Next submit will be allowed.");
window.NA.DonationForm.SubmitButton.style.removeProperty("display"), debug.info("SubmitButton unhidden."); // show the original submit button so that if something goes wrong the user can still click the submit button
window.NA.DonationForm.SubmitButtonCopy.style.setProperty("display", "none"), debug.info("SubmitButtonCopy hidden."); // hide the copy of the submit button that intercepts submit attempts so that there aren't two buttons
}
});
console.log("Submit intercept added.\nButton:", window.NA.DonationForm.SubmitButtonCopy);
} catch (error) {
console.error("Failed to add submit intercept:", error);
}
}, ...lockedProperty
},
'validate': {
value: async function (root = undefined) {
if (!this || this === null)
throw new Error("validate: Unable to read API context.");
root = root || this.root;
const flattenArray = (array) => array.reduce((flat, toFlatten) => flat.concat(Array.isArray(toFlatten) ? flattenArray(toFlatten) : toFlatten), []);
try {
const freqency = await this.getFrequency(),
amount = await this.getAmount();
if (!freqency || !amount)
return false;
if (amount < this.FORM_MINIMUM || amount > this.FORM_MAXIMUM)
return console.error("validate:", "Gift amount is invalid:", amount), false;
let requiredFields = Array.from(root.querySelectorAll('label:has(.form-required)'))
.map((label) => document.getElementById(label.htmlFor) || (label.nextElementSibling || label.previousElementSibling))
.filter((_) => !!_) // remove blanks
.filter((field) => {
if (field.name && field.name.includes('[payment_information]'))
return false;
return true;
})
.map((field) => {
if (field.matches("div"))
return [...field.querySelectorAll('input')];
return field;
})
requiredFields = flattenArray(requiredFields);
const valid = requiredFields.every((input) => {
const type = input.tagName.toLowerCase() === 'select' ? 'select' : input.type;
const { name, value, id } = input;
//console.log(type, name, value);
if (name === 'submitted[payment_information][payment_fields][credit][card_number]') {
if (value && value.length === 16)
return true;
return console.error("validate:", name+':', "CC is invalid."), false;
}
if (name === 'submitted[leadership_circle]')
return true;
if (name === 'submitted[donation][other_amount]' || name === 'submitted[donation][recurring_other_amount]')
if (amount)
return true;
switch (type) {
case 'email':
const emailRegex = /^[a-zA-Z0-9._%+-]+@[a-zA-Z0-9.-]+\.[a-zA-Z]{2,}$/;
if (!emailRegex.test(value))
return console.error("validate:", name+':', "Email address is invalid.\n", input, value), false;
return true;
case 'tel':
if (!value || value.length < 10)
return console.error("validate:", name+':', "Phone number is invalid.\n", input, value), false;
return true;
case 'select':
case 'radio':
case 'text':
if (!value || value.length === 0)
return console.error("validate:", name+':', "Field is invalid.\n", input, value), false;
return true;
default:
debug.log("default");
return true;
}
/*if (!value || value.length === 0)
return false;*/
});
return valid;
} catch (error) {
console.error(error);
return false;
}
}, ...lockedProperty
},
//'makeTabbed': { value: function(){} },
'DonationInterrupter': {
value: { init: initDonationInterrupter.bind(api) },
enumerable: true,
configurable: true,
writable: true,
}
});
initHooks(api, ['onFrequencyChange', 'onAmountChange', 'onTrySubmit', 'onSubmit']);
api.Frequencies.addEventListeners('change', (event) => {
if (event.target.checked) {
api.hooks['onFrequencyChange'].forEach((callback) => {
callback.call(api, event.target.value);
});
}
});
Object.entries(api.GiftArrays).forEach(([ key, GiftArray ]) => {
GiftArray.addEventListeners('change', (event) => {
if (event.target.checked) {
api.hooks['onAmountChange'].forEach((callback) => {
callback.call(api, event.target.value);
});
}
});
});
api.SubmitButton.addEventListener('click', (event) => {
api.hooks['onTrySubmit'].forEach((callback) => callback.call(api, event));
});
api.root.addEventListener('submit', (event) => {
api.hooks['onSubmit'].forEach((callback) => callback.call(api, event));
});
if (options.makeTabbed)
api.makeTabbed();
/*if (options.fakeSubmit)
window.NA.DonationForm.SubmitButtonCopy = window.NA.DonationForm.SubmitButtonCopy || createNewSubmitButton(window.NA.DonationForm.SubmitButton, { cloneOriginal: false, hideOriginal: true, observeOriginal: false });*/
return api;
}
function createNewSubmitButton (originalSubmitButton = window.NA.DonationForm.SubmitButton, options = {}) {
const defaultOptions = {
cloneOriginal: true,
hideOriginal: true,
observeOriginal: true,
};
options = { ...defaultOptions, ...options };
const newSubmitButton = document.createElement('button');
//newSubmitButton.id = "submit-button-copy";
newSubmitButton.classList.add("btn");
newSubmitButton.textContent = originalSubmitButton.value;
originalSubmitButton.after(newSubmitButton);
options.hideOriginal && originalSubmitButton.style.setProperty("display", "none");
return newSubmitButton;
}
function initHooks (api, hookNames = []) {
const hooks = Object.fromEntries(hookNames.map((hookName) => ([hookName, new Array()])));
Object.defineProperty(api, 'hooks', {
value: hooks,
...lockedProperty
});
}
function initDonationInterrupter (options = {}) {
const getExpId = () => {
let experiments = window._vwo_exp;
experiments = Object.entries(window._vwo_exp);
let id = experiments.find(([id, data]) => {
const name = data.name;
return name.match(/Donation Interrupter/);
})[1]?.id;
return id;
};
const getExpVariation = (id) => {
let experiment = window._vwo_exp[id];
return experiment.combination_chosen || experiment.combination_selected;
};
const defaultOptions = {
id: [ 'VWO', getExpId(), getExpVariation(getExpId()) ].join('-'),
tokenName: ("NA__MPR_DonationInterrupter:" + [ 'VWO', getExpId(), getExpVariation(getExpId()) ].join('-')),
min: 10,
max: 100,
askAmount: (originalAmount) => {
if (originalAmount > 500) // $500+
return false; // don't show
if (originalAmount >= 400) // $400-$500
return 50;
if (originalAmount >= 300) // $300-$399
return 40;
if (originalAmount >= 200) // $200-$299
return 30;
if (originalAmount >= 100) // $100-$199
return 15;
if (originalAmount < 100) // $100-
return 10;
return false;
},
askFrequency: (originalFrequency) => {
return "monthly";
},
popupHTML: {
headingHTML: (`
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet
`),
bodyHTML: (`
Consectetur adipiscing elit. Sed nec egestas turpis, hendrerit semper nisl. Pellentesque auctor ipsum at
pharetra eleifend. Pellentesque a rhoncus turpis, ut tempus nibh. Donec vel dui hendrerit nisi imperdiet
tincidunt. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos.
Duis efficitur dolor ut nisl blandit imperdiet. Nullam pretium est nunc, tincidunt viverra ligula dapibus.
Duis malesuada:
dui eu venenatis volutpat
urna libero posuere lectus
non tincidunt mauris ligula consectetur felis
lacinia hendrerit enim at molestie
Sed placerat fringilla consequat. Nullam eu pellentesque sem?
By submitting, you consent that you are at least 18 years of age and to receive information about MPR's or APMG entities' programs and offerings. The personally identifying information you provide will not be sold, shared, or used for purposes other than to communicate with you about MPR, APMG entities, and its sponsors. You may opt-out at any time clicking the unsubscribe link at the bottom of any email communication. View our Privacy Policy.
Neal Karlen: "Just kill the time, baby," Dark Star said, "before the time kills you."
Photo courtesy of Neal Karlen
By Neal Karlen
Neal Karlen is the author of seven books, on subjects ranging from punk rock to minor league baseball and religious fundamentalism.
With the sudden death last week of local talk radio legend Dark Star, aka George Chapple, Minnesota lost another of its last remaining karmic links to its Damon Runyon-like past. Dark Star harked back to those long-ago days of entrance-code speakeasies, when the Twin Cities gave birth to the national weekly gambling point-spread, and gunmen on every corner wore pistols in their pockets and their hearts on their sleeves.
Not that Dark, as his friends called him, ever saw that era when the town embodied actual wild times and bizarre personalities. He was only 66, and wandered into town long after St. Paul's sense of shame and Minneapolis boy Mayor Hubert Humphrey had cleaned up the Twin Cities. Dark, who allegedly got his nom de plume while moonlighting as a horseracing handicapper in Los Angeles, lived his life as if it were a half-century earlier, when true local characters were given their due and not reduced to the status of anachronistic cartoon characters.
Turn Up Your Support
MPR News helps you turn down the noise and build shared understanding. Turn up your support for this public resource and keep trusted journalism accessible to all.
Dark lived with rolls of cash falling out of his pockets, with which he'd often treat young know-nothing midnight DJs to late-night pizzas; with a devotion to slaughterhouse cuts of blood red fatty meat and great vats of whole butter, and with a religious aversion to exercise of any kind. When he shot golf with Twins Manager Tom Kelly, Dark proudly rode a cart while TK walked.
His death certificate might say "heart failure," but no one doubts that George Chapple passed away because of a life lived unashamedly as Dark Star. He lived and died alone, and was only discovered dead last Friday after his apartment was encircled by worried friends who fretted when he failed to show up for his KFAN broadcast. He may have bulled his way through three-quarters of his life, on and off the air, but he would never miss a broadcast.
I first met Dark in the mid-1990s, when he mentored me on the intricacies of post-midnight broadcasting, before the powers that were at WCCO-AM allowed him to tromp over the more genteel primetime airwaves of the then-trumpeted "good neighbor to the Northwest."
Longtime Twin Cities radio personality and race track fixture George Chapple went by the name "Dark Star."
AP Photo/WCCO Radio
Before he was deemed ready for prime time, managers stuck him on late, in the slot before 1 a.m., right before I often sat in. These were times of no apparent importance because no one was listening, and he was marooned because of his propensity for mentioning the unmentionable on air, including some of George Carlin's seven words no one ever said on the air. Even in his obituaries, a former boss groused that he "could be a little off-color," grudgingly admitting, "He was one of those people who got away with it."
And he did, seemingly leading an unexamined life lived exclusively off angles, bounces and leaked stories. He taught me how to also get away with it for four hours in the middle of the night, at that deadly existential hour that F. Scott Fitzgerald called the "real dark night of the soul [when] it is always 3 o'clock in the morning." Fitzgerald was speaking metaphorically. Dark spoke specifically to me about the insomniacs, lobster shifters, truckers and cranks who largely made up 'CCO's after-midnight audience, which at that time of the clear-channel night stretched virtually from Bakersfield to Bangor.
Dark told me I sounded frightened that there were cranks out there who knew the radio station's address. "I am afraid of the cranks," I told him. "They do have the address."
"They're just lonely," he'd say, "like you're just lonely, like I'm just lonely."
"But I'm not lonely, and neither are you," I'd point out, nodding toward the phalanx of hangers-on and good old boys the Dark Man always seemed to carry in his traveling troupe of glad-handers and local VIPs.
The answer to the dilemma of late night radio, he said, was to engage in unremitting bull excrement with the audience, trusting your gut no matter what came out. No one could famously fling the falsehoods like Dark, be it about a featherweight boxer, or why it was time for a granny in Cedar Falls to fall asleep, or a rain pattern ostensibly developing over Butte, Mont., that Dark saw only in the theater of his own mind.
"Just kill the time, baby," he'd say to me, "before the time kills you."
He encouraged me to play games with the bumper music that would have turned music publishing companies apoplectic (if they were listening, which of course they weren't) and to read the stultifying daily soap opera updates from the paper as a public service to the insomniacs who'd slept through their shows that day. He encouraged me to awaken friends from my normal day life and have them on in-studio to provide human, sane voices. He persuaded me to have the three leading contenders for the DFL gubernatorial nomination on at 3 a.m. to give the weather report.
We drifted apart over the years after I took an extended sabbatical from radio, and he fell back into his morass of buddies and sources and steak dinners at Hoyt's.
Rest easy, Dark Man. You killed the time with more joy than most of us are able to do.
Gallery
1 of 1
Neal Karlen: "Just kill the time, baby," Dark Star said, "before the time kills you."
Photo courtesy of Neal Karlen
Dear reader,
Political debates with family or friends can get heated. But what if there was a way to handle them better?
You can learn how to have civil political conversations with our new e-book!
Download our free e-book, Talking Sense: Have Hard Political Conversations, Better, and learn how to talk without the tension.
News you can use in your inbox
When it comes to staying informed in Minnesota, our newsletters overdeliver. Sign-up now for headlines, breaking news, hometown stories, weather and much more. Delivered weekday mornings.