Commentary
The unwritten rules that tell Minnesotans how to be nice
by Syl JonesIn the 1930s, a Danish-Norwegian novelist, Aksel Sandemose, described the unwritten laws that governed his fictional town of Jante. He listed 11 so-called Janteloven, or Jante laws, but three are enough to give you an idea:
Don't think that you are special.
Don't think that you are good at anything.
Don't think that you can teach us anything.
Sound familiar? It should. Jante Law explains a lot of what goes on in Minnesota. Former Gov. Wendell Anderson met his downfall because people thought he'd forgotten to act like he wasn't anything special. Former Gov. Jesse Ventura enjoyed initial success because he appealed to people who thought the political establishment had nothing to teach them. Unfortunately, he also forgot to act like he wasn't anything special.
These principles, which may have been intended to maintain a measure of egalitarianism back in the old country, find their cultural expression in what we call Minnesota Nice. People who have grown up with it know that Minnesota Nice doesn't have all that much to do with being nice. It's more about keeping up appearances, about keeping the social order, about keeping people in their place.
But in a meritocracy like the United States, such principles can make us feel just a little "less than" everyone else, and also like we're groping in the dark when it comes to communicating. The message is, "Don't Go Thinking You're Exceptional" even if you are. It's probably NOT a good idea to stare at yourself in the mirror all day long, but still, it wouldn't hurt if people were a little more direct.
Of course, many Minnesota residents today don't come from a Scandinavian background. Yet, there's something contagious about Janteloven. It's tempting for people of all backgrounds to pretend to be nice when they aren't. In fact, part of that famous Minnesota charm -- the part that can actually lull you to sleep, if you're not careful -- is the idea that things are, well, just fine around here, thank you very much.
Even if the roads are crumbling, health care is declining, and the school systems are running out of money. Better just to pretend that everything's A-OK.
But don't worry. I'm not trying to change anything or anyone. In fact, I agree with you: We're all pretty much the same. Have a nice day.
Syl Jones, Minnetonka, is a playwright and corporate communications consultant.
Comments (16)
huh. I'll have to dig out an article from ages ago (either Pages or Reader) called Tora Tora UffDa. Essentially comparing Japanese social culture to Minnesota. Mainly empahsizing, like you do, the don't rock the boat, don't rise above the herd... the sort of thing you expect to happen on a crowded island, but oddly happens here in MN too.
Thanks for the reminder, even as a transplant from WI I tend to give in to the MN "you're not special".
At least we're not Texas.
Wow! That explains a lot. At both work and community organizations I have been quashed for trying to help "improve things". "Minnesota nice" makes for tyranny of the mediocre.
I laughed out loud at the end of this piece. After an informative expose on the term "Minnesota Nice," Syl caught me off guard in a great way with the way he closed out the commentary.
Thank you, Syl, for kicking off my day with a hearty laugh.
I look forward to more of your commentaries.
With all due respect to Mr. Jones: I have never heard the passive-aggressive behavior of some people that live around here as being a integral facet of ' Minnesota Nice'. 'Minnesota Nice' has always meant that MN people are by in large friendly and not pushy to people they first meet or interact with in public. Books like 'Nickel and Dimed', written by a non-Minnesotan, confirm this opinion of mine.
I agree with Timothy Rheault. Minnesota Nice is not about "keeping people in their place" or about encouraging mediocrity. It's about giving up ego and personal desires on behalf of the needs or wants of another. The only negative connotation with this phrase is that being Minnesota Nice means that very often one is considered a "doormat" to others who take advantage.
Like everything, Minnesota Nice can be used for several purposes--to keep people in their place, to accept mediocrity as the standard, to actually be nice to someone. I don't really believe Syl's commentary here is wrong so much as it is limited. My experience as a third generation American Norwegian is that Minnesota Nice actually means having some humility. Drawing attention to one's self may actually distort or misrepresent the truth because a person doesn't achieve, acquire, or become something on one's merits alone. Can't say I wouldn't mind seeing some humility or "Minnesota Nice" a bit more often.
I know what you mean about the passive agressive bit, Syl. Sometimes it takes living outside of Minnesota for a while to pick up on that aspect. It's part of the "don't think you're special" category. To someone driving in the left lane at 85 miles per hour: Don't think you're so special or the Minnesotan in front of you will drive 65 with perseverance. Actually, I think that aspect of Minnesota Nice is really quite humorous. It's a kind of social justice for those of us who follow the speed limit. I think this is what Syl means by passive aggressive and it usually applies when someone from the East Coast thinks they can blow through Minnesota with an East Coast 'tude. "Don't think you're so special."
Acting nice to someone's face & then gossipping behind their back is not cool. Neither is driving slow in the left lane. I'm pretty sure both are done in other states & countries, though. The reluctance to be confrontational from the outset of meeting someone - a trait that pervades the Midwest, Canada and Scandinavia - is not necessarily the worst thing in the world. It's probably why violent crime rates are extra low in those places. Even with a relative lack of gun control, MN's murder rate is almost identical to Canada's. Being super-expressive often correlates to being hot-tempered and contentious. Part of being civilized is not saying everything that comes to mind. Another word for it is tact. Tourette syndrome is a disorder. States and countries where people are less reserved usually have more violent crime. It's worth noting that Syl Jones chooses to live in Excelsior, MN. He could move to a bastion of free expression like New Orleans, but keep in mind that the murder rate there is 11 times that of Minneapolis proper, and about 1,000 times that of Excelsior, MN. I'm not saying that MN is perfect. I'm saying that there are trade-offs. Wanting to live in a safe, harmonious society while also wanting people to be expressive to the point of contentiousness may be like wanting to be able to have 6-pack abs despite being a couch potato and having a diet of donuts & ice cream.
We should all agree on these things, though:
Minnesota Nice is a horrid, clunky term, probably made up by a local TV news department. "Nice" is not even a noun.
We Minnesotans should do our best to make everyone - especially newcomers - feel truly welcome and appreciated here.
Ma'asalama
In other words, don't be arrogant. That's common to all cultures. What constitutes arrogance varies, of course. I've heard the expression "who does he think he is?" far more often outside of Minnesota than within Minnesota. Jesse Ventura got elected as an outsider candidate, he most certainly did not get elected on the basis of humility.
And if we object so strongly to people who can teach us something, why is Minnesota such a well-educated state? Surely such an attitude would lead us to be one of the least educated states rather than one of the more educated states.
Respect is earned, not demanded. That's hardly a concept unique to Minnesota. It's not as if Minnesotans don't respect people. Minnesotans will respect people who have earned respect, but if that respect is demanded, forget it.
Then there is the question of why should Minnesota be like everyone else? It makes no more sense than to demand that everyone else be like Minnesotans. Challenge Southern hospitality, and the sparks fly. Challenge Minnesota Nice, and demand that Minnesotans be like everyone else, and Minnesotans in general won't stand up for themselves.
I think this is an excellent article and Thank you for making it easy, fun and throwing in that little bit of history. We all have appearences and it is needed to keep things from going bad or to keep things civil. Thanks!
As transplant from Boston who has now lived here for 33years (for work), I can attest that Minnesota is indeed a very difficult place to integrate. There is a closed off-ness that permiates the culture here. Not too high, not too low. That's all well and good when it comes to "surviving" but not that great when it comes to really having fun and "living". The culture here, in general, does seem to stifle creativity and thrives on a sense of mediocre as good enough. Look no further than our zoning ordinances. We have done our absolute best to ensure that citizens don't congregate in the same place all at the same time. A little commerce, a little commerece there, but never all together. Minnesota beige isn't just a food preference: it's a color that tints life here on the whole.
"Minnesota Nice" sums up typical Canadian behaviour quite nicely.
I'm Canadian too, and I don't see any similarities with Minnesota Nice and Canadians as a whole. I think this is extremely regional.
this would be the main problem that I have with Minnesota and Minnesotans
I completely agree with Dan Wilborn's comment. The attitude in Minnesota is definitely "mediocre is good enough for us". Growing up in a small town in Missouri, I had a very middle class upbringing-but I also learned how to cut loose and have fun when the opportunity arose. But living in Minnesota now, that's nearly impossible for me to do. The general attitude is just too subdued-people need to realize that it's ok to have a good time and get loud every so often, even if you do draw attention to yourself.
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