I received a long overdue text message from the woods this morning, full of the usual techno-jargon, abbreviations and misspellings. For your reading pleasure, I've translated it below.
I'm out of my den in case anyone cares.
It's been pretty warm and dry this spring, and then we got some rain. Good thing. Only you can prevent forest fires!
I'm not a big fan of fires of any kind out in the woods, 'cause fire is dangerous and we live here! Some bears are actually OK with it, because a campfire is a place where humans get real casual about food. To me, there are some risks worth taking to get a s'more, but burning down the house isn't one of them.
I found a new phone at a campsite last week, and this one has the internet so I've been able to look at videos.
Here's my favorite so far.
Anything that takes The Three Bears down a notch is OK by me. People make a lot of assumptions about bears based on the silly stuff they read and see - not much of it comes out of real contact.
I like the Smokey the Bear ads best when you don't see him. He's pretty much a good public image for bears, but the clothes don't make sense. Why pants only? You never see him wearing a shirt. I don't know if you've thought much about the things bears do in the woods, but take it from me, pants would be a hassle. A nice shirt? I could work with that. Pants, not so much.
Otherwise, whenever you see bears wearing clothes they do it as kind of a joke. Like in that You Tube video, - the mom with the apron and the dad with the too-long tie. And who wears suspenders anymore? Dress nice or not at all, that's what I'm saying.
Sorry about being so grouchy. That's another bad bear stereotype with a little bit of truth to it, especially early in the spring. I'm trying to cut back.
I guess you can see there's not a lot to do yet - stuff is just beginning to grow. Don't know how I spent my time before texting.
Come visit this summer, but not too close!
I told Bart I would probably NOT be coming to visit him in the woods this summer, but I get his point about animal fashions. I admit to having put a shirt on a dog recently, but that was for medical reasons - to protect a patch of bare skin from the sun.
Otherwise, I've never seen an animal dressed up in clothes that seemed comfortable or approrpriate. Or stylish, even.
What's your reaction to animals wearing clothes?