The Ballad of Denny Hecker
Posted at 6:00 AM on March 19, 2010
by Dale Connelly
(40 Comments)
You don't hear many "Ballads of ..." anymore. We seem to be missing the kind of contemporary figures who are so widely agreed to be heroes that they can support that kind of adulation.
I guess that means we'll have to look for anti-heroes. Reaching a level of extravagant misbehavior gaudy enough to be memorable will become the new measure of ballad-worthiness. By that standard, we should have plenty of nominees, but it will be a lot of trouble to come up with a fresh tune each time.
Fortunately, if the subject has a four syllable name, we can simply plug their moniker into one of the most mercilessly mindless little ditties to emerge from the Disney songwriting shop - the relentless and infectious "Ballad of Davey Crockett". You know the one I mean - the one that begins "Born on a mountaintop in Tennesee ..., and leads to the remarkable claim "kilt him a baer when he was only three."
Fess Parker played Davey Crockett on TV. I'm saddened to note his passing yesterday at the age of 85. With apologies, here's an adaptation of his theme song to fit an entirely different kind of character.
His was the face that you would always see.
On ev'ry billboard, behind ev'ry tree.
Right where you looked is the place that he'd be.
Cut you a deal that's practically free.Denny, Denny Hecker! King of the wheels and gears.
For every kind of car he had a store.
If you want a truck there's a half dozen more.
Financing too. Don't care if you're poor.
Denny made money in bundles galore.Denny, Denny Hecker! The dealer with no peers.
When the economy collapsed, it fell
On all them deals and them debts as well
On acres of cars that no one could sell
An imploding empire startin' to smell.Denny, Denny Hecker! A man with huge arrears.
Then all the creditors he had was found.
The live-in girlfriend, her pricey hound.
Wives and lawyers and the kids gathered round.
Humpty dumpty, insolvency bound.Denny, Denny Hecker. Next the judge appears.
Some says he's sittin' on the extra dough.
But he says he's busted as a man can go.
We're left guessing what accountants know
But we'll tune in tomorrow, to follow the show.Denny, Denny Hecker! The king of wheels and gears!
The Ballad of Davy Crockett has an endless number of verses. About as many as Denny Hecker has creditors.
Add a verse if you'd like, or nominate another likely candidate to wear the coonskin cap of Crockett balladry!
Comments (40)
Very funny Dale.
I'm trying to warm up to the anti-hero thing, but having trouble. I just don't want to give any more attention to the morally bankrupt (caveat: I have NO idea exactly what Denny Hecker has been up to, because I haven't been paying attention, so not saying HE is morally bankrupt!)
The Davy Crockett song however, reminded me that Fess Parker, who played Daniel Boone on TV, passed away yesterday. Does Jasper has any Daniel Boone songs?
Have a great weekend Heartlanders!
sitting is a studio down in st paul
its not real big but its not too small
used to spin records now insets discs
for all us rh'ers our favrites he picks
dale dale connelly king of the morning blog
he writes about spring and goats and just folks
he ponders and questions and jostles and pokes
he cranks our brains in the morning each day
we tune in to see what he has to say
dale dale connelly king of the goat and dog
his gang shows up tween 6 and 9
laughs and chats has a real nice time
and even clyde when he is able
will join us at the moring table
dale dale connely head gear in this land of cogs
he play tunes to match the discussion
its a stretch sometimes but barb will rush in
request a song and then another
reminiss about her goats and then her mother
dale dale connely clears our head of morning smog
dale dale connelly hes the head mpr disc dog
I wouldn't dream of offering poetry after Dale has pulled off such a tour de farce. Well done sir!
I'll nominate Tom Petters for the local hall of shame. What was his Ponzi scheme worth? Something close to $5 million? Actually, I've disliked him for years. He reminds me of the smug guys who made life so unpleasant in high school, those too-cool handsome guys who walked the hallways like royalty with a cheerleader on each arm.
I'll take my Cheerios this morning with a generous dollop of schadenfreude poured all over the top.
hi there - wow, Dale - that really changes the Davy Crockett tune for me. my brother had a coonskin cap (well i'm sure not REAL coonskin) and a little plastic rifle or shotgun that he took to bed each night (to shoot the bears on the chimney, climbing up to get into our room)
didn't Fess Parker play Davey also? or do i disremember?
i'm not a writer or a poet, but i might suggest some names, good or bad:
Bernie Madoff
PeeWee Herman
Anna Nicole
Tim Pawlenty
Johnny Edwards
Jim Ed Poole
Warren Harding
Sis' Teresa
Roy Orbison (refrain: "Roy, Roy Or-bis-on. Barb's Uncle and he could sing")
that's a keeper, Tim! thanks!
busy day today, will check in later.
Very nice Dale, real wit and full of the gory details, and then tim adds so quickly, so well. I shall withdraw, but someone should add what will happen to Mauer because he is supposed to be buying the remnants.
Speaking of anti-heroes: To add to my last post yesterday: if you do not know a one-legged man in flight from the police here in Kato early in the morning was chased to a WalMart and then around the lot a few times, after waving a gun and smashing into the cop car. So, then he drives up to the auto door, waits for it to open, drives safely through and 3/4 of the way back to the produce for a 30 minute stand off with his pellet gun. Now there's an ani-hero. All I can say is Broccoli happens in WalMart.
Wow, Tim.
I never intended to join the pantheon, but you knocked that one off so quickly! My own ballad - Thanks!
Steve - I have an off-blog question. Could you write to me directly? dale@radioheartland.org
Fess died, huh. My understanding is that he built a fortune, wise use of what he earned. My grandson Jonah, about to turn 5 om March 31, fell in love with a D. Crocket movie on TV, so they bought him that one, which he plays a lot. So for his birthday we got him the whole set.
Jonah is all about heroe ann anti-heroes right now, So for his uncle's wedding he thinks we should buy a frying pan sho our sone can use it to both cook and fight bad guys.
Good day, all , , , and weekend.
Funny blog entry, Dale. I nominate Tom Petters to join the ranks of ballad worthy anti-heroes. His given name is Thomas, so, metrically, it's all good.
Thanks to Radio Heartland, I went to the Del McCoury concert last night. I don't think I've ever been disappointed at the Cedar, but the concert was especially good.
Have a great weekend, all!
Steve in Saint Paul, I didn't read the comments this morning till after posting mine. I nominate Petters, too. In addition to swindling folks, he took down Polaroid with his Ponzi scheme. Goodbye forever, favorite film types.
broccoli happens in mankato, a memorable qutoe clyde
what are you talking about with mauer buyint the remnants. you tune to a different sports channel than i do
i think a 10" cast iron skillet would be perfect for the wedding gift
Okay, Clyde, you done it. You opened the WalMart topic.
I had a chat last night with a friend in New Jersey. The nearest WalMart is the one where someone got on the PA a few days ago and instructed all the black people to leave the store. She told me her son knows the kid who did this.
I was prepared to be huffy about the stupidity of this kid, and I do think he'll come to rue the day he pulled that stunt. But her perspective was interesting. It apparently didn't occur to this kid that telling black people to go was going to be such a shocking thing. He was just being silly. And her real point is that this kid is so used to the company of black people that he couldn't see how this "joke" had echoes of real racial hatred. This kid, dumb as he is, is actually something like "post-racial."
Good Morning All,
How can we have a better ant-hero than Denny Hecker and, of course, Dale is our big hero. I have had trouble coming up with any good heros or anti-heros although there are plenty, they just don't seem to fit as good subjects of ballads in my mind.
I think some one with ballard writing talent could come up with a good one for Jesse Ventura. Also Dave Ray, a Minnesota musican, who passed away and was well loved by many, might be a good one to put in a ballad
No match for this crowd, am I...especially not on a Friday morning when I slept late.
Frying pan...reading John Irving's latest which features an 8 inch cast iron fry pan weapon/character.
(Last Night in Twisted River...quite good, so far...).
Greetings! The subject of heroes and anti-heroes brings to mind the TV series "Heroes" which we are totally addicted to at our house. My youngest, the 12-yr old w/autism, bought the first season and now we have the second season on DVD. He's fascinated with having special powers.
We'll have "Heroes" marathons watching one show after another because we didn't keep up with it on TV (always at karate). So many interesting characters with plot twists and turns. And of course, they're almost all impossibly good-looking and sexy ,,, Nothing gets done when when we watch those shows!
tim--there was a story back a few weeks that Joe Mauer and family were trying to buy the Hecker dealerships. One of my ex-students who is a sport writer in Waterloo Iowa (Go UNI) has been sort of fllowing the rumors on it. Thinks it is probably true.
Joanne--Jonah too is fascinated with super-powers.
wal mart is the corner store these days. the mankato story is the stuff they shake their heads at down at the donut shop. steve i love the story about the kid who didn't see anything wrong with the singleing out the blacks. a great post racial story. we have come a long way baby.
thanks for the dictionary trip this morning
schadenfreude is a marvelous word. i have been married to two germans and evidentally neither of them has ever used it in a sentance with me before... or i wasn't listening. 50/50 shot now that i stop to think about it.
Dale--are you aware that really only one American folkhero is not either a cxriminal or a destoryer of the wilderness?
So, you are right on track.
tim--I carved a bride and groom for the wedding but it may not work on the top of the cake for design reasons. The wedding is going to be in a Mexican village area of Balboa Pary. Cast iron is oft used in Mexican cooking. So I think I will suggest we do something with a cast iron skillet and the carvings.
Johnny Western is a Minnesotan--born in Two Harbors, raised in Northfield. Had a better career than one would suspect. In Western Music HoF, I think mostly as a DJ.
We should get Dale in there.
ok clyde, love the frying pan with carved bride and groom. sounds perfect. ill bite who was the hero who did not rape and pillage? mauer family did indeed pick up at leat one hecker dealership so far it is going very well i understand.
dale excellent ballads.
loren greene sang ringo. my personal favorite with big bad john as a close second
i think we would have a beter chance getting him in the hd radio HoF. lets start it up now.
Johnny Appleseed. I have challenged different groups for 40 years on this. Believe me, I did not first notice it. A long topic of students of folklore and its kind. People sometimes mention D. Crockett, but they are thinking of the Disneysanitized version.
Mik Fink, Paul Bunyan. Pecos Bill, Buiffalo Bill, Bonnie and Clyde, Jesse James (ever seen "Great Northfield MN Raid"--great piece of mythology in a movie), on and on with deprssion era and western criminal folk heros.
You can decide how much Babe Ruth,
and his ilk of basevall players m aybe folk heors. Then, you have some other exceptions.
Tim - I'm mostly Norwegian and agree whole-heartedly that schadenfreude is a fabulous word. And I am in awe of your early morning rhyming abilities.
Not much to add on the anti-heroes list - lots of good nominations already. I could potentially put myself in political hot soup and nominate Dick Cheney (which, to get the meter right would have to be Richard Cheney, I suppose). "Bent the rules, and shot himself a judge...Richard, Richard Cheney, Tsar of Guantanamo!"
johnny appleseed is correct. first american hippy. wandering through the country side dropping seeds man. and then movin on. i can dig it. the ballad of timothy leary should be groovey
I have noticed three people in the last 10-12 days telling us that were courageous, one Academy Award winner, a local person, and then the book by, man I have no mind left at all--Bush's chief of staff--Courage and Consequence, is tha the name?
So new rule--you cannot procalim that you yourself are courageous, one of many rules that should not have to be said.
But then maybe I am courageous for posting this.
The award for the HD radio HoF is the JASPER of course. Firs two winners, Mike and Dale. Well and them for my courage.
Didn't Johnny Appleseed also carry a cook pot with him (on his head, like a hat, as I recall)? So he may be a better hero than others, but follows the pattern of having a good pan with you just in case...
My biography will be called Courage and Modesty.
Yes, Johnny is often shown wearing the pan. What folk song has a reference to a frying pan, killed someone with frying pan?
I read a couple of books about Johnny Appleseed several years ago and despite his wanderings and refusal to wear shoes, he was just a business man. Actually owned quite a few properties/orchards and did a lot more selling of his saplings than the myth suggests. Also a religious prostelytizer (sp?), he did give away most of his possessions and cash. Very very intersting person.
Apples were very popular because in those pre-refrigeration days food tended to go bad. Apples kept almost indefinitely. Hard apple cider kept well and was universally popular. Hard cider was frequently served at church.
With respect to sherillee's comments, Johnny Appleseed was a surprisingly successful businessman who left a nice estate to his sister.
Thanks for the info on JA. Interesting to know.
To a folklorist, however, truth is never the point, only the public tale.
Bill Gates has potential to be a folk hero, when you think about it, a true Carnegie--steal it and monopilize it and then give it away.
I really resonated with Claudia Schmidt's comment that she never projected herself in any particular role at any particular age. Neither did I - and as a white male, that was not typical. But here I am, at 67, apparently without untoward effects of not having been particularly ambitious. Being a white male helped me materially in this culture, more, probably, than I know. I recognize that this comment isn't following the folk hero theme and beg forgiveness.
Peter--the only theme on this blog is that there is no theme. But I am not sure you are not on the effemeral topic of the moment after all. She was good, as always wasn't she? Fine poet. I loved "You can't make it so simple people won't misunderstand."
No problem, Peter - we're "off topic" a good share of the time here... nice to see a new name on the blog.
Clyde - There was:
"Old Dan Tucker was a mighty man,
Washed his face with a Frying Pan,
Combed his hair with a wagon wheel,
Died with a toothache in his heel."
I haven't read it myself yet, but Michael Pollan's "The Botany of Desire" has a chapter about J. Appleseed...
The cad was a pirate with a gentle side.
When Peter cut his hand off, he surely cried.
He could dance the Waltz and Tango and Electric Slide.
And I wept at the end when he finally died.
Captain, Captain Hook. Crocodile ate him alive.
I saw Mason Jennings (right here in SF!) at our Orpheum Theater last night. He was superb. And so congenial. The kind of guy you'd like for a son-in-law.
Tim - love your DC ballad. Such a deserving subject, too!
Thanks, Barbara, indeed. Where in Iowa?
Between my inability to control my fingers when typing and the inability of my brain to remember things I once knew so well, I think it's time to lay it down.
Thanks, Dale, for Old Dan Tucker!!
Pollan does such a great job of researhc and then blending it into modern context. Have not read that book.
Barbara... in Iowa today... yes, a nice chapter in Botany of Desire about J.A. So here's another plug for Michael Pollan!
Clyde - I'm in Marshalltown, visiting my mom.
How about I mail to YOU the Botany of Desire book...? :)
Hold off on it would you Barbara, but thanks for the offer.
Been a busy day so way late here, but Anna! Hah!
Love it!
I'm gonna chuckle about that the whole rest of the day!
Remember the Denny Hecker ads on WCCO during drivetime, with the bluesy saxophone blaring in the background and the chorus singing about how Denny was "good people helpin' good people"?
Good people don't pocket car buyers' license tab money instead of sending it to the State of Minnesota. Good people don't try to commit fraud at their bankruptcy hearing.
Regulators and enforcement folks were asleep at the switch while Denny built his Minnesota empire..the chain of car dealerships, the financing entity, the real estate company. Does anybody really believe that the fraud was limited only to his auto business?
But the gullible public fell for it and the rest is history.
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