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Trial Balloon: February 3, 2010 Archive

Ask Dr. Heartlander

Posted at 6:03 AM on February 3, 2010 by Dale Connelly (21 Comments)
Filed under: Ask Dr. Heartlander

Dear Dr. Heartlander,

I'm feeling a little bit down today.

I entered the precinct caucuses last night thinking I had a pretty good chance to demonstrate some substantial support for my life long dream - to be elected Governor! I was organized and my people turned out in all areas of the state, but when the numbers came back on the straw poll I was a disappointing not-very-close-to-the-top. Not only did I finish behind "Undecided", I was also beaten by "Contemplating a Move To North Dakota".

I sense that people are hungry for government that can accomplish things, but in retrospect, my slogan "He Knows When to Compromise" may not have been the best strategy for getting votes at this point in the process.

Still, a talent for bargaining hard and splitting the difference at the last minute in order to get things done has always been my greatest strength. So this feels like a personal rejection - like I have been stood up on a blind date. I'm a really good person, but it doesn't even seem like they want to get to know me!

Am I over reacting?

Moderation Is My Middle Name


Dear M.I.M.M.N.,

You HAVE been stood up on a blind date. But just because the party faithful don't want to take you to the big dance, that doesn't mean you're repulsive.

You might just be uninteresting.

The good news is, there's still time. Take a hard look at yourself in the mirror. Identify your most exciting features and find a way to work them to your advantage. Note that the "most exciting" aspects of your personality may not be the same ones that give you the most pride.

Though moderation is smart when it comes to drinking and gambling and your willingness to compromise may be a good quality to have when it's time to finish a deal, it's not the sort of thing that will make people walk across the room to meet you. After all, they already know you'll meet them halfway. So focus on something else right now.

If you can do animal impressions, dance or tell jokes, or do all of those at the same time, now is a good time to put that on display. Governors have been elected with less.

But this is just one way to look at M.I.M.M.N.'s problem.

What do YOU think, Dr. Heartlander?

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