Trial Balloon

Trial Balloon: August 3, 2009 Archive


Posted at 4:45 AM on August 3, 2009 by Dale Connelly (22 Comments)

Today is Tony Bennett's birthday! He's 83, and still touring.
He has shows scheduled through February of next year.
If I ever get to be 83, I'll need an organization as vigorous as Tony's concert booking operation just to get me out of bed in the morning.

Dr. Kyle of Genway, the supemarket for genetically engineered foods, has announced a Bennett birthday special! Here's the promotional piece that showed up in my e-mail this morning:

Come to Genway for Tony Bennett Bananas!

bennett banana.jpg

They have amplified freshness!

While other old bananas turn brown and quietly liquefy, the Bennett Forever Banana stays a vivid, tasty yellow with firm, flavorful flesh! Just when you think it's as good as it can get, it gets a little bit better! That's a remarkable advance in fruit preservation, all thanks to a little bit of Tony's DNA, which he graciously contributed one night by putting his hand on a pen I gave him to sign a concert program.

Thumbnail image for Dr Kyle.jpg

Look for Genway to use the magic of Bennett DNA on a whole line of fruits and vegetables that will benefit from extended shelf life. Lettuce, grapes, strawberries, asparagus, broccoli ... even Tony Tomatoes and Bennett Beets will amaze and delight you long past the time you thought they'd be compost.

It's a brand new day for the produce section. Find these beauties under the Bennett Forever Banana banner and pick up a banana hat for yourself or the kids! It's not an actual hat, but rather, a new way of carrying a bunch of bananas (pictured) that I think has great potential to be a fashion trend for the rest of the recession! Carmen Miranda on a budget! That's the kind of innovation you expect from Genway, the supermarket for genetically engineered foods!

How does it happen that some people excel at what they do late, late in life?
Is Dr. Kyle right in thinking it's in the genes, or is it just plain good living?
Or might it have something to do with hard work?

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