Operators Are Standing By!
Posted at 5:24 AM on March 9, 2009
by Dale Connelly
(28 Comments)
New kinds of shady financial deals are being pitched to consumers every day. You'd think scammers would lie low with all the attention being given to the economic crisis, but no. The fresh activity is quite robust.
This attractive offer arrived late last week:
Dear Investor,At this very difficult time for the economy, I'm writing with a proposal that is ideally suited to this moment in history.
I'm offering you a chance to get in on the ground floor of a brand new financial adventure called the Friends Lavish Opportunity Ponzi Scheme Bank!FLOPSbank!
Now you may have heard some bad things about other financial arrangements that included the words "Ponzi" and "Scheme" in the title, but those activities were operated by other people with different names! Those funds were based on deception.
Participants thought their money had been invested in the stock market. In fact, their money was being spent recklessly on luxury and fast living.With a name like FLOPSbank, you should know that the word "deception" is not in our vocabulary. I'm telling you up front that I will NOT invest your money.
That's right!
I will PUT your money directly into my pocket - a pocket that has a much better rate of return than the Dow Jones Average over the last 3 months. While the Dow has lost about 30% of its value, your money, put directly into my pocket, will lose only the amount I throw away pampering myself and my friends.
And here's the great news ... as an early investor in FLOPSbank, you are guaranteed to be one of my friends. One of my DEAR friends. So in all likelihood, I will be sending you unexpected gifts and bonuses shortly after I receive your deposit! And the more you spread the word about this amazing opportunity, the more money there will be in my pocket, burning a hole, looking for some lavish way to express my gratitude. To YOU!
How can I make this offer? Simple. The economy is going crazy and regulators are busy putting out fires at some very big, federally insured banks. FLOPSbank doesn't have to deal with those regulators, since we are well beyond the reach of those meddling and ineffective U.S. laws, being chartered, as we are, on the beautiful tropical island of Scambuda!
Who knows?
I might send my private jet for you, as soon as we receive your check! Because that's what friends with money do for one another.
Timing, they say, is everything. I hope to hear from you before it is too late!
Sir Guy Frittering
President
FLOPSbank
I'm thinking of taking him up on it with the money I would normally spend on the lottery. Unless you know of any other great investment ideas out there?
Comments (28)
Morning Heartlanders. In these times where fear and panic seem to be driving the decision-making of many (hard not to!), I think we need to invest in ourselves. And remember all those who came before who went through difficult times as well. In that spirit, I'd love to hear "Heroes" by Ann Reed!
Good morning RH,
Personally, I'd like to invest in some new neck skin.
good morning All - Dale, if you remember last State Fair you interviewed (i think) Bubby who was gathering feed for goats. put food in and money came out the other end, was the promise. well, that's where my money goes. as with laying hens who don't start giving eggs until they mature, the goats need to mature before the money starts coming. i guess mine haven't matured yet because i'm definitely not getting money out that end.
because the cold weather is returning to us this week do you have anything Siberian to play for us, please? thank you
I'm going to invest in my Victory Garden I'm starting this spring. Eat local, eat fresh.
Thank you, Sherrilee, for your comment. I would add that we also need to invest in our community, especially those living right next door, to talk with them and to listen to their story. Our government relied on us to "Go out and spend" to keep our economy going; but, we now must be the Hero to others around us from despair. We have that power. We can pull together as a community.
Thanks for playing Ann Reed's version of "Heroes."
Thanks, too, to you Dale and Mike. You are part of our Communitiy.
Dale, Mike and everyone else at RH,
This is off-topic - but maybe not. I'd like to thank everyone involved for the tickets I won to last night's performance at the Cedar. It was a delightful evening. Cheryl Wheeler and Susan Warner were wonderful and won a couple new fans. And thanks to my friend Gail for attending with me.
Dale, I would have introduced myself but I was busy buying tickets for future Cedar performances, beverages, etc. pre-performance and during intermission. So, I made investments for the future guaranteed to make me happy... Thanks again.
only as read about on the trial balloon blog... ;-)
good morning, all.
not related at all, i would love to hear some steve earle this morning!
Dale or Mike,
Could I bribe you to edit that post I made earlier? I'd really like it to sound like I have a smidgeon of character. You guys know I was trying to get a laugh, right?
Dale - please don't edit Donna's new neck skin comments. In the first place, as our population ages, this could be the economic stimulus that pulls us all out! Secondly, if we can't keep our sense of humor, then we might as pack it in right now. And thirdly, when I read your comment, Donna, my very first gut reaction was that I wish I'd said something funny instead of my corny comment!
please, please don't edit - i enjoy the variety of comments we get and a good gut laugh is always best first thing in the morning! but i appreciate the serious, thoughtful comments also. thanks to all
i'm outta here (gonna go check for money in the goat poop)
don't talk about me while i'm gone :-)
Good Morning, Heartland...interesting to hear from Sir Guy Fittering and the FLOPS bank this morning, I spent a bit of the weekend looking at the New York Times list of people bilked by Bernie Madoff...600+ web pages long.
But to restore my faith in humanity/community, I also attended a fundraiser for a local beloved pastor that raised at least $23.000 for his medical bills as he copes with cancer.
So...as a good friend of mine once said, "Where there is great light there is also great shadow" I got some of each this weekend. I count it a successful one.
Thank you for early morning Leonard Cohen...he's "my man!"
My investment is downstairs watching PBS Kids...hope it works out - she has to take care of me in my dotage. (I'm not ready for new neck skin yet...but that investment may yet come...right after I get a less gimpy hip).
Checking in and enjoying the posts. If you are a praying person my Gus has a big bball game tonight.
What does Bubby say about putting food into offspring? Hope I haven't missed money coming out the other end.....
Thanks for the Steve Earle!
somehow, all the economic gloom and doom is making me feel like taking risks---since no one really knows the "right" thing to do right now, maybe i should just do what i want to! yeah, not invest in anything!
sell the house, spend the money,
quit my job, move somewhere sunny....:-)
i reckon i'm a little contrary, or still holding on to that old teen rebellion feeling deep down inside.
on a slightly different note, i was reading Frittering's email and got stuck on the scam idea...and what immediately came to mind was the Senate "election"---or what is now the Senate "trial"....that's feeling pretty scammy to me at this point--i wish they'd just meet in an alley after school and duke it out; last man standing wins. not a pretty solution, but a more honest one, at least.
happy monday, all---
Thank you Gail and Dale for the Van Morrison. Busy this morning getting ready for the first day on the (retirement) job.
Yes! Todd Menton then Richard Thompson….
Thanks for that!
Good Morning!
Too much funny on a Monday morning. I can't help Donna with her neck skin unless donating my love handles would somehow help but I haven't been able to give them away yet much less find anyone else who wants them.
Nice to spend some time in the barnyard this morning; chickens, tomatoes and now here comes the rain & storms.
Greetings Heartlanders!
I've slept in late this morning -- kids on school break. For better or worse, I've invested money in karate for 2 boys and me. Just got my Brown Belt on Sat, 14-year old is Advanced Brown and 11-year old is Advanced Red. It's been an amazing and fun experience for me at 51 to do this. I'll try to post a picture tomorrow.
Have a great day!
All the blog comments are whirling around in my head today... hearing Barb mention the State Fair about the time you played Ann Reed made me think about her State Fair songs that she did for the MS. Wondering if you'll be able to be in the booth at the State Fair this year, Dale and Mike? Maybe even Jasper could come along. And, of course, I personally would love to have yet another State Fair song from Ann Reed! Barb, will Alba and Dream be at the Fair?
Sherrilee, we don't show our goats. that way we can hold on to the illusion that they are THE most beautiful goats in the world and would win all the prizes IF we ever showed them :-) but do try to go to the fair during the time the goats are there - it's really fun seeing all the different breeds (and watching them escape from their pens)
stay warm and safe in the upcoming storm everyone!
Barb -- well as someone who has seen the goats at the Fair every year and has also seen a photo of Alba and Dream, they ARE the prettiest! I wish I had a picture for you of what we saw last year at the fair ... we came out of the barn and there was an old school bus (repainted) completely full of goats! They were up on the seats, looking out the windows. It was the funniest thing! I suppose it's just as good a vehicle as any other for goats... the kids on the bus!
Kay H expressed this in a post not so long ago and I echo it, "You people are so cool!"
Thanks for the comments, all.
I had to leave the neck skin remark in, Donna.
It got at least one laugh (mine), and you should never delete a joke that works.
Regarding the State Fair, I think Bubby knows all too well what comes out the back end of a goat, but last summer his greed got the best of him and he almost traded his iPod for a goat that purportedly lays golden eggs.
Haven't we all been similarly tempted?
As far as August 2009, I have no idea what we'll be able to do, fair-wise.
Is it reasonable to assume that Trial Balloon readers would like us to push for a morning broadcast from the MPR booth?
Oh Dale, how could we have a state fair without the Morning Show, Ann Reed and Where's Erik variations? Probably should schedule it when the goats will be there.
What can we do to help make it happen?
Yes, Dale -- we would love to see a morning broadcast from the MPR booth at the State Fair! All these years, I've been wanting to go, but never made the early morning trip. Any chance Jim Ed could make an appearance? He has to bring "Tom Keith" for the PHC show anyway, right? You've got my vote!
everyone here says yaaaaaaaaaaa to a state fair show!! and Sherrilee, what a good idea to use a school bus! that must have been fun to see.
Would Trial Balloon readers like to see RH at the fair? Absolutely!
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