Heck of a Job!
Posted at 5:07 AM on March 16, 2009
by Dale Connelly
(30 Comments)
A look inside some anonymously submitted personnel files. From AIG, perhaps?
Annual Employee AssessmentI have met with "X" and we discussed his performance for 2008 - 09.
I congratulated "X" for meeting his annual goals; in particular he performed extremely well on the timely development of a series of complicated financial instruments that could be marketed worldwide.
"X" excelled at this task, and I have no hesitation in giving him an "Outstanding" rating for the job accomplished. The entanglement of the entire economy of Iceland in a string of highly leveraged side bets serves as testament to "X"'s clever design and energetic advocacy of these products.Likewise, "X" earned a "Successful" rating on the goal creating products that would make our books incomprehensible to regulators. The senior management team was delighted to see that even with the help of an open bar at their annual retreat, they could not unravel the innermost workings of these devices. However, the severe emotional break down and subsequent hospitalization of our internal auditor was an unfortunate side-effect.
I had to give "X" a "Needs Improvement" rating for the profitability of these products. While it is true the instruments performed well for the first half of 2008, the last two quarters caused the company to nearly go bankrupt and triggered what amounts to a government take-over of all our operations. "X" admits this fell below expectations, and was not one of his annual goals as outlined in last year's performance review.
I gave "X" a "Developing" assessment when it came to the goal of 'fostering a long-term relationship with our customers.' The fact that many of our best clients have gone out of business makes any kind of relationship unlikely, except one that is under supervision of the courts. "X" admitted that much of his work last year led directly to the near collapse of the global economy. "X" was particularly remorseful about Latvia and the American Auto Industry, and promises to make significant progress towards realizing more positive outcomes in the next fiscal year.
Overall, "X" has utilized his talents with unflagging energy on behalf of the company. While I cannot say he was successful in everything he did last year, his work did leave a lasting impression. Mixed results aside, it is clear that "X" did everything necessary to earn the annual retention bonus as outlined in last year's contract.
I would recommend, however, that he receive the full amount of his bonus in Chrysler stock.
Ever had a less-than-stellar job review?
Comments (30)
Good Monday Morning Heartlanders,
Well, I have to admit the worst job performance reveiew I ever got was from my ex-husband who noted I was so bad at being a wife, I should never be married...there was a small bonus with the severence package. Oh, and the opportunity to find jobs better suited to my skills.
At AIG you get a big bonus and you get to keep your job with your bad performance review...how else can they keep the "best and the brightest" -- did I hear that right, did the CEO really say that?
Good morning! I'm dragging a little this morning, as I went to hear Madeleine Peyroux last. She put on a wonderful show - thanks for playing her this morning!
As to nasty job reviews, I actually put one particularly unfair review in the bottom of my cat's litter box. That showed them, huh?
i am retired. less than stellar reviews? daily. as our neighbor says "i am such a burden to myself." i almost never give myself a "meets expectations" at the end of the day.
the goats are much less harsh in their assessments of me (and don't seem to have much need to assess their own performances either)
i bet this will be an interesting thread today - i've been reviewed and done the reviews and neither of those things were any fun except for my last job. our "boss" just gave us the tool for review and we were to fill it out ourselves. the "tool" was from our umbrella agency and had been developed for a totally unrelated type of position and really had no relevance to what we did. so we just could be as humorous as we felt - filling it out with nonsense. then the boss and we got together, reviewed our comments and had a good laugh.
Hi Cynthia,
You heard right. Here's a description of the letter from AIG CEO Edward Lidd to Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, as written up in the Chicago Sun-
Times:
"Liddy also wrote the government's demands could affect AIG's ability to retain "the best and brightest talent to lead and staff the AIG businesses" if "employees believe that their compensation is subject to continued and arbitrary adjustment by the U.S. Treasury.""
At my last job (couple decades back), we had a management change and new boss was a "clear out dead wood" type. So he didn't do any of our reviews when they were due. I finally went to HR and president of the company (same week that I turned in my two week notice). Boss grudgingly did review before I left and I was expecting it to one for the record book of bad. It wasn't actually too bad, although it wasn't based on even one of my goals and objectives for the year before. It was like reading someone else's review in a language you were still learning. I kept it for jollies -- I think it's in the attic somewhere.
Have a great day, no matter what job you're doing, Heartlanders.
Good morning, all! I've been so busy that I've had a difficult time "stopping by" some mornings. Happy listening!
Thanks for the clarification, Dale. I heard another banker this morning bemoaning the executive pay restrictions the government imposes with its bailout money say he couldn't ask people to live on such salaries...it was the wee hours, did I hear that right too?
hmmmm....I wonder how low the restricted salaries are...any numbers floating around out there?
A few years back, we had a principal who was not our pal. I was chided for letting my students talk too much and allowing playdough at a center. The playdough was easy enough to remove, but this was a very chatty bunch. After conferring with a couple of colleagues, I did what they did - simply trained the kids to be as quiet as mice whenever she appeared. I don't think she liked it very much - the way the children sshhed each other when she walked in, but I certainly enjoyed it!
Donna, I also had "noisy" classes when I taught second grade. I wasn't savvy enough to teach them to quiet themselves when the principal appeared...on the other hand, he was on the other end of the building and didn't like to visit our end of the hall.
He asked us once to review his performance, then read the (were there two?) good ones aloud to us...
Greetings Heartlanders:
Back when I had a real job in Corporate America as a secretary, I generally got very good reviews. After the layoff, I worked for a "friend" in her home with her home health care biz (never again!).
She eventually hired all family members and let me go because of "reimbursement problems" from Dept of Human Services. I got unemployment after appealing, so it was a capricious firing. I think she's under investigation for fraud now ...
I am self-employed so my reviews are fairly simple. If the customers are happy and I made money then it was a good year. I think I am harder on myself than any boss I have ever had. I still cannot understand how a company can be bailed out by the government and still give out huge bonuses. If the firm is doing so good to give a bonus, why do they need to be bailed out? One of the big mysteries of the business world I guess. By the way, I am running a little short this month. Anyone want to bail me out?
I've always hated performance reviews -- especially when you have to grade yourself. Do you rate yourself high to make boss think they missed something? Or do you do the Minnesota thing, be humble and grade yourself lower just so you don't seem prideful or arrogant?
I usually kept all my "atta girls" in a file -- the stuff I did particularly well, written praise from co-workers about projects I worked on, situations where I took the initiative, etc. Ammunition to give me the guts to rate myself "Exceptional!" for at least a few items.
Yikes! The internet stream on my computer is very choppy and not coming through very well! FYI ...
Oops -- sorry, no worries, mon -- my internet provider is slacking on the job lately ...
Bird feeder report: Although I still have (what seems like) every Common Redpoll in the world at my feeders -- they've been here all winter -- I want to proclaim the first Red Wing Blackbird of the season arrived yesterday. This is my sure sign of spring as the RWBs show up long before the Robins.
Happy Spring all!
Mike, when i questioned why a (particularly slimey) boss was laying folks off and closing departments but at the same time conducting retreats at expensive resorts i was told it was "money from a different pot" - that was always the answer. our salaries were not part of that ephemeral pot.
now i have to go out to explain to the goats why i can't have the door repair people come to fix the barn door to the tune of hundreds of dollars. will try again to do it myself. (then either fire myself or get in line for a huge bonus :-)
on the bright side - it's 38 degrees in zone zero!! the goats are cavorting.
Cynthia - heard a Robin this morning on my way to the chicken coop!
Greetings RHers from beautiful Charlotte, NC! It is cool and rainy here, a very hopeful weather situation for this part of the country, which has experienced severe drought for several years.
I had to write my own review before I left for this trip. Because of a previous poor review (not submitted by me!) and not receivieng the raise I was expecting, I too have begun collecting proof of innovation, extra contributions and positive comments about my work habits and performance. I also kept a list of the changes, challenges, and work added to my job description in this last difficult year.
But - I am on vacation this week, and all thoughts of meeting and exceeding expectations at work are but a vapor, a wisp, and a light fog - easily dissolved by good friends, beautiful surroundings and sleeping in until 8am!
Have any great songs about R&R Dale? Thanks!
Cynthia, glad to hear the redwing blackbirds are back! I love their warbling. But the robins have been back for a couple weeks now in my neck of the woods. There was a whole flock of them in my yard and the neighbors' trees - at least a couple hundred. Guess that's why they're Wisconsin's state bird!
Thanks for the Pete, Dale! What a national treasure he is!
Good Morning!
I've had some bad reviews over the years but not very many and I can't imagine how one can screw up so badly they lead the charge that tanks the world economy and not only still get to keep the job but get a bonus for it. I wrote my response on my blog just because I couldn't get to sleep without venting my spleen over this one.
I think what the money has bought is a bunch of greedy folks not the best and brightest. I think it's time to get some folks with a commitment to our society that's stronger than their greed.
Now the bird feeder report is the thought that I will carry into my day. Thanks for the good news report and the bird songs!
Glad to hear the Robins are here...in my yard soon, I hope.
Barb...need help with that door? My performance reviews on carpentry and other repairs is mixed, but I have had lots of experience with (especially) horses being hard on the "furniture" -- I stand by duck tape, baling twine and bungee cords...if that doesn't fix it, then try the hammer.
Now...my performance review is going to suffer if I don't get outta here!
My feeling on performance reviews is that it should be a 2-way street. Employees should rate their managers on some capricious set of standards, and this should be presented to their immediate supervisor. I'm sure it would get the same consideration I give my reviews.
Gail - liked your catbox filing method. ;-)
Performance reviews are new to me! After 23 years at a small (i.e. 10-12 employees) retail medical equipment store that closed its doors in August 0f 2006, and some time making an effort to see if I can start a small business of my own with part time work to try to keep going, it was (past) time to get full time employment so we can keep our remodeled house (remodeled so we can live on one floor if necessary, and so we can better enjoy it in our coming retirement) I am now working in a call center environment. It is full time work and paychecks are regular, as are the performance reviews, but the criteria to earn "Silent Hero" awards have been increased - too many people earning the awards? Many times wish I had been able to stay on the farm, but have been away long enough that I don't think I'd know how to properly care for goats, or chickens, or horses. Am good at general reapirs though so maybe Barb or Cynthia can use some help? Going to go look for job more suited to my tastes. Anybody need a good general aviation pilot? Any suggestions on whether a 60 year old should go back to finish a degree or start a new skill training program?
I had a miserable review one year while I was working for a catalog company affilliated with both public radio and public TV here in the cities in the mid 1997. The evaluator, who shall remain nameless... had decided to end his tenure with the company... he had neglected to do any reviews for any of us.... Apparently he wrote all of the reviews over a long weekend. and he came in and blasted me for not doing my job on the phone. Problem was I was one of the team leading assistants, so my job was not on my phone....I was keeping tabs on the floor, and with other project.
So in this case, it was all about stats, and not taking into account what my job entailed at the time.
I went to my lead a few months later, and was averaging well over the amount that was required.
It actually was a great job.. But after 5 years, I burned out on it...
It is a beautiful day here in St Paul..... may go riding this afternoon.... maybe Dale and Pickles would like to go?
Very refreshing to read everyone's thoughts on job reviews. I've been fortunate over the years to have always received good reviews, first as a teacher and later as a corporate employee. As one who must write reviews, I admit that it often is a difficult and time consuming process to do them well. If people are surprised by their review, then I've not done my job throughout the year as their manager.
I empathize with Joe, since I'm 61 myself. At this time in my life, I remain interested in educational pursuits--and people-- NOT for the possible job at the end, but as a way to keep my brain alive and my interests keen. And, I'm learning to simplify, so perhaps a lost job would not be the end of the world.
Hi...I completely forgot that today is St. Urho's Day! Dale, might we mix a little Finnish music in with St. Patrick's Day selections tomorrow?
Joe...I do need help...I need someone to repair my outhouse? How do you feel about a two hour one way commute?
Topic: birds, not job reviews. I saw robins down by Minnehaha Creek in Minneapolis in January and February. They didn't seem lost, but I was confused. Do some winter over?
Cindy - yes, they do. if they have a food and water supply some robins stay all winter. and they look down their beaks at those wimpy robins who go south to get out of the cold.....
- Become a Member
- Member Connect Accounts
- Leadership Circle
- Sustaining Members
- Member Discounts
- Become a Sponsor
- Tax Information
- Planned Giving
- Vehicle Donation
- Donate Stock