Thank you everyone for your kindness during my absence and for imagining all sorts of good things happening to our little three person family during this trip.
I'm sorry there was so much secrecy, but it was necessary given the exotic nature of the mission.
There is still very little that I can reveal because the information I gathered is being distilled and assessed. At this point I am only permitted to issue specific and carefully worded denials to keep the speculation under control.
(However, there are no restrictions on posting photographs!)
So I want to absolutely clear - I'm not saying we were put in luxurious Wall Street banker year-end-bonus level quarters aboard a mammoth cruise ship.
Our suite did not have a huge deck and a hot tub.
None of this was funded with money I should have been paying in taxes that I somehow forgot to hand over.
I was not trained by a special agent to operate a specially modified off-road Segway through an alligator infested swamp.
I would never ask my son to help with, or even witness such a reckless adventure.
We most certainly did not have an excellent time.
Other than that, there's very little I can tell you.