Forgotten Roads And Parallel Universes

Posted at 5:28 AM on February 10, 2010 by Radio Heartlander (24 Comments)
Filed under: Guest Bloggers

The Road Not Taken (excerpt)
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both ...
....

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
By: Robert Frost (1874-1963)

While I am content with my life and have no regrets, I always wonder about the times when there was a major fork in the road of my life. All those "what-ifs" ...

What if the boy I had a huge crush on all through grade school had actually noticed me and we got married like my girlhood fantasies? Last I heard he's a smart, handsome doctor living in a swanky part of Green Bay, WI. Would I be happier? That swanky house is appealing, and a more comfortable lifestyle certainly, as well as a reputation in the community, etc. But does that equate to being happier?

What if I had stayed in Green Bay instead of following my deep desire to move to Minneapolis for college? I wouldn't have met my loving husband nor had my wonderful boys. Although I have not specifically used my B.A. in Theatre, I definitely had fun in the process of getting the degree (I'll spare you the debauchery of cast parties). Plus, it's nice to have some kind of degree on my resume.

On a more morbid note, what if I hadn't been wearing the seat belt in that car accident 20+ years ago? My face would have been through the windshield. As it was I had a bruised rib cage from where the seat belt held me fast - and thank goodness for that.

What if I wasn't laid off from Pillsbury 10 years ago? That was the best job I ever had - nice pay, great people, generous benefits and stimulating work. But the long-distance commute to downtown, high stress and the excess 40 lbs left me an unhappy camper at home. Nowadays money is a constant struggle, but I'm a happier person now with a low stress job 1.5 miles from home.

Some of the metaphysical stuff I've read makes the assertion that every decision, every minute of every day, has a separate timeline. Imagine infinite possibilities branching out from every moment of our lives, and each of those moments intersecting with other people whose lives we touch -- millions of parallel universes. It's just mind-boggling. Don't know about you, but I like to boggle my mind, push the envelope, and upset the apple cart of my belief systems. I'm not a risk-taker, but I enjoy skating the intellectual edge of new and innovative ideas or thought systems.

Can you imagine what your life would have been like if you had taken the "other path"?

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Being Eeyore

Posted at 5:30 AM on February 9, 2010 by Radio Heartlander (24 Comments)
Filed under: Guest Bloggers

"Wonderful. I'll probably make a fool of myself. Well, might as well get it over with."

This was my entrance line as Eeyore in "Winnie the Pooh," coming on stage to lose my tail. And this was the role I played when I had my brief tour on the London stage, my limited run treading the boards in the land of Shakespeare and Stoppard.

At the tender age of 15 I was in a production of "Winnie the Pooh" that had a four week tour in London, England, prompted by an invitation from the Polka Children's Theater in Wimbledon (yes, that Wimbledon - and no, the theater wasn't anywhere near a tennis court). Our company had a one-week run at the Polka, and performed three other plays as well as "Pooh" at theaters, schools, and parks around London. While the Polka was memorable, it was our first performance that I hold dear.

The day after we arrived from Minneapolis, we walked from the hostel where we were staying, costumes, props, and set pieces in tow, to a school in the Putney section of London. The boys at the school wore grey short pants with white shirts, yellow ties and knee socks. The girls wore peach dresses. It was like walking into the world of Christopher Robin and performing our show for all his school chums.

After the show, it was the tradition of the group to spend time talking with the audience while still in costume. In my case, the costume was a head-to-toe grey Eeyore suit over a large "pod," which made me look like a stuffed animal. All you could see of the "real" me was my face and a few blond curls. Being Eeyore, I had a removable tail - it was attached with a large snap. Out I went into the "garden" to talk with the students and pretty soon a little blonde boy came up alongside me and took my hand. His name was Charles. He didn't say much, just held my hand while I talked with the other kids. He disappeared at one point, but reappeared quickly and announced rather sadly, "My friend took your tail" in a perfect Christopher Robin sort of voice, holding up my Eeyore tail for me to see. I asked that he kindly return it where it belonged, which he did, and then took my hand again.

After a bit it was time to go inside and change into our regular clothes so we could have "squash and biscuits" with the students in the garden (squash and biscuits? we all wondered - strange treat for primary school kids...turns out it was orange drink and cookies - squash and biscuits - no vegetables to be seen). Charles stood by the steps into the school, waiting for me. When I came out, he pronounced, "I knew who you were, you were Eeyore," and resumed his place, holding my hand. Charles, my one-kid fan club, gave me my best memory from a brief career on the London stage.

What is the most charming 'thank you' you have ever given or received?

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Fond of the Footlights

Posted at 5:30 AM on February 8, 2010 by Radio Heartlander (62 Comments)
Filed under: Guest Bloggers

I love musicals. I acknowledge that they are often racist, sexist, and improbable. Still, I willing suspend my inner cynic and believe that orphans will be adopted by gazillionaires; it is perfectly reasonable to dance in public or up walls; and that we will all find happiness after two hours and an intermission.

I have been entranced by professional productions of musicals. Seeing "A Chorus Line" on Broadway, "Phantom" in London, and Rock Hudson and Carol Burnett not in "The Odd Couple but in "I Do, I Do" is something I will still be talking about in the home.

It seems to me that the best venues for the musical are the community theatre and especially the high school. I love seeing my city councilman sing "The Wells Fargo Wagon is Comin'." My son was entranced when we ordered our Kung Pao Chicken from the high school soprano who played Maria in "Sound of Music" one year and "West Side Story" the next.

I think the transformations that happen to a cast are even more amazing as they rehearse, build sets, and perform together. Watching the ipod generation bond during the run of a show is amazing. It is especially magic to see the freshman cast as the 3rd Arab on the left take as much pride in and responsibility for a production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" as does the senior playing Joseph.

Because I can't sing, dance, or paint a straight line I've never been in a musical. I did formulate the mud to spread on the costumes for a college production of "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" and I am a good house manager. I am also an excellent audience member and know that every high school musical should end with a standing ovation.

Many adults who never sing in public did so in their high school musicals. Dale admitted in an e-mail that he was ... "A sailor in South Pacific, General Bullmose in Lil' Abner, and King Arthur in Camelot! I remember being in the musicals more clearly than anything I did in any of my high school classes!"

How about you? Ever been onstage or behind the scenes in a musical?

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Americana Showcase

Posted at 6:00 AM on February 7, 2010 by Dale Connelly (1 Comments)

Tonight at 6pm, tune into Radio Heartland for a songwriters-in-the-round concert from the Americana Showcase series in Rochester, Minnesota. Series organizer Brandon Sampson and Nashville singer-songwriters Sally Barris and Don Henry are featured.

Brandon Sampson is a founding member of the band Six Mile Grove, originally from Lyle, Minnesota.

Sally Barris grew up in the Twin Cities and fell in love with acoustic music after a visit to the Homestead Pickin' Parlor in Richfield. She resolved to start writing and singing her own songs, which she still does today in Nashville, Tennesee.

Don Henry is a Nashville veteran as a singer and songwriter, and a Grammy winner for a tune he co-wrote with Jon Vezner, "Where've You Been".

The concert can be heard on Radio Heartland (radioheartland.org) (91.1 HD 2 in Minneapolis and St. Paul) this evening at 6pm and Wednesday afternoon, February 10th, at 1pm.

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Two Trios

Posted at 6:00 AM on February 6, 2010 by Dale Connelly (0 Comments)
Filed under: Saturdays

Tonight on Radio Heartland on Minnesota Public Radio News Stations, you'll hear from two trios.

In the first hour, I'll welcome Regina Marie Williams, Sanford Moore and Dennis Spears to the Maude Moon Weyerhauser Music Studio at MPR.
Regina is a well known Twin Cities area singer and actor, appearing onstage at the Guthrie, the Ordway, Penumbra Theater and Children's Theater just to name a few. Her performance as Dinah Washington in "Dinah Was" is especially memorable. Along with T. Mychael Rambo and Thomasina Petrus, these three are doing a Valentine's Eve show at the Capri Theater in Minneapolis.
We'll talk about love songs and the theatrical value of reciting Bible verses.

In the second hour, we'll listen in on part of a songwriters-in-the-round concert from the Americana Showcase series in Rochester, Minnesota. Series organizer Brandon Sampson and Nashville singer-songwriters Sally Barris and Don Henry are featured.

The concert can be heard in its entirety online and on digital radio on Radio Heartland (radioheartland.org) (91.1 HD 2 in Minneapolis and St. Paul) Sunday evening at 6pm and Wednesday afternoon at 1.

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Faulty Inferences

Posted at 5:30 AM on February 5, 2010 by Radio Heartlander (56 Comments)
Filed under: Guest Bloggers

Case #1
When I was a quiet and passive four- or five-year-old child, my family would frequently drive the 30 miles to Duluth for my brother to see an eye doctor. We would go to this mysterious building called the Medical Arts Building. But before we could go down the hall to the doctor's office, the five of us in our family, and sometimes a few strangers, would enter this small room. The door would close, the room would shake, the door would open, and then we were allowed to walk down the hall to see the doctor. It seemed clear to me why we did this: I knew what the word "medical" meant, and I knew there were these bad things called germs which had something to do with things medical. So I assumed we went into the room to have the germs shaken off of us. I did not know why we did it on the way out. Did we pick up more germs in the doctor's office?

Now I submit that this was a reasonable inference for a five-year-old who had never heard of elevators. The result of this on my life is threefold: 1) I still think of travel in 30 mile units. 2) When I hear the world "elevator" I picture the Medical Arts Building. 3) I am no longer quiet and passive, to the regret of all who know me, and am willing to ask questions, except for directions.

Case #2
When I was about twelve, without explaining why, my father told me to put the garden hose in the back of the pickup. He walked off do something else. After I had done the task, he came back and told me that he had changed his mind; that I should mow the lawn instead. Not knowing what "instead" referred to, I got out the mower. He drove up the rough track to our upper meadow, where we also had a potato field. I was wondering why he wanted the garden hose up there, where there was no source of water. Then I saw the problem. In a few minutes the pickup came bouncing down the track, much faster than it should. My father was a man of quick and hot temper. He got out of the pickup and snapped at me that I should pay attention. He had told me clearly to put the garden hoes in the pickup and I had put the garden hose in the pickup instead. Then it dawned on him. He stopped, stared at me for a bit. Then he went and got his hoe and drove slowly back up the track.

It was as close as he ever came to apologizing to me until I was an adult.

Case #3
When my granddaughter was three, she was afraid of my mother, who was missing a leg and confined to a wheelchair in a nursing home in Sioux Falls. One day her parents were driving to South Dakota to visit her other grandparents, who live near Sioux Falls. They told Lily that they were also going to go see great-grandma. Lily promised she was not going to be afraid of her this time. When they arrived at the other grandparents, they found a note on the door to meet them at a restaurant and that great-aunt Edith was there too. When they told Lily that she was going to meet great-aunt Edith, Lily asked, "Is she all there?"

It seemed a reasonable guess apparently that "great" meant you are missing a body part.

Have you ever been tripped up by a faulty inference?

Edited to add:

Enter TODAY by 1 p.m. CT! We have a drawing for Rosanne Cash tickets.
Obey the rules.
Good luck!

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That Certain Look

Posted at 6:04 AM on February 4, 2010 by Dale Connelly (43 Comments)

Radio Heartland has tickets to a concert by Roseanne Cash at the Guthrie Theater this coming Monday, February 8th.

Enter the drawing.
Obey the rules.
Good luck!

Starting tomorrow, I'll take a six-day blog holiday. Fortunately, Cynthia, Joanne, Beth-Ann, Anna, Renee and Clyde have volunteered to blog sit for me, so their names will appear over the central entry each day.

Picture them unselfishly pounding away at their keyboards for our benefit, and please respond accordingly with your usual mixture of interest and humor. Had I thought about it more carefully, we'd have some kind of representative image for each of our guest bloggers - a face for you to contemplate as you read their post. Although the visual element can sometimes get in the way of an honest exchange of ideas.

At the end of yesterday's string of comments, Clyde dropped the following bombshell:

"I look much like Santa Claus now."

I suppose it is not a small thing to look like Santa Claus in the USA today, or anywhere in the world for that matter. Here's a photo I found posted on Flickr by a well traveled soul named "Carpetblogger".

This weary looking character may be the real Santa, or the Clyde of Azerbaijan, or perhaps it is your local Toyota dealer looking for a way to start making money again.

Santa Clyde went on to ask this question:

Out in public small children, I mean from age 6 months to 4, stare at me, come to me, smile at me. I am not all that small-child-friendly a person by and large. So is there something iconic about the look of Santa (a pretty universal figure now), something children are encoded to respond to? We know we are hard-wired to respond to some things, such as the characteristics of infants. So What is it?

I would guess that the color RED has something to do with it.

And a white beard is especially good at showing off bits of whatever you had for lunch. Polite adults pretend not to notice but the very young find this interesting and it could be that their own haphazard eating habits make them expert bib readers. Perhaps they're wondering how you liked your soup.

Any other theories? Are some "looks" inherently welcoming? Off-putting?

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Ask Dr. Heartlander

Posted at 6:03 AM on February 3, 2010 by Dale Connelly (21 Comments)

Dear Dr. Heartlander,

I'm feeling a little bit down today.

I entered the precinct caucuses last night thinking I had a pretty good chance to demonstrate some substantial support for my life long dream - to be elected Governor! I was organized and my people turned out in all areas of the state, but when the numbers came back on the straw poll I was a disappointing not-very-close-to-the-top. Not only did I finish behind "Undecided", I was also beaten by "Contemplating a Move To North Dakota".

I sense that people are hungry for government that can accomplish things, but in retrospect, my slogan "He Knows When to Compromise" may not have been the best strategy for getting votes at this point in the process.

Still, a talent for bargaining hard and splitting the difference at the last minute in order to get things done has always been my greatest strength. So this feels like a personal rejection - like I have been stood up on a blind date. I'm a really good person, but it doesn't even seem like they want to get to know me!

Am I over reacting?

Sincerely,
Moderation Is My Middle Name

Dear M.I.M.M.N.,

You HAVE been stood up on a blind date. But just because the party faithful don't want to take you to the big dance, that doesn't mean you're repulsive.

You might just be uninteresting.

The good news is, there's still time. Take a hard look at yourself in the mirror. Identify your most exciting features and find a way to work them to your advantage. Note that the "most exciting" aspects of your personality may not be the same ones that give you the most pride.

Though moderation is smart when it comes to drinking and gambling and your willingness to compromise may be a good quality to have when it's time to finish a deal, it's not the sort of thing that will make people walk across the room to meet you. After all, they already know you'll meet them halfway. So focus on something else right now.

If you can do animal impressions, dance or tell jokes, or do all of those at the same time, now is a good time to put that on display. Governors have been elected with less.

But this is just one way to look at M.I.M.M.N.'s problem.

What do YOU think, Dr. Heartlander?

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... God, My Mom, and the Academy ...

Posted at 6:00 AM on February 2, 2010 by Dale Connelly (28 Comments)

Radio Heartland has tickets to see Mavis Staples at the Dakota in Minneapolis tomorrow night at 7 pm.
We'll keep the door open until 1pm today.

Enter the drawing.
Obey the rules.
Good luck! .

Yesterday we talked about thank you speeches on the day after the Grammy Awards Show. Today, the Oscar nominees are announced.
The movie awards will be given away on March 7th.

Although he didn't post it as a comment on the blog, idea man Spin Williams texted me from The Meeting That Never Ends with what he calls A Big Concept for the Oscars - something he wanted to share with everyone.

Gratitude!

It's going to be EPIC in the more frugal and friend-focused world of 2010 and the awards show producers are totally not getting it!

How else can you explain our impatience with televised expressions of thankfulness? As soon as a winner gets to the microphone, the clock is running and the more they say about their dependence on others, the more we are made to feel it is boring, boring, boring! We're being trained to turn our backs on grateful people so we can get to the commercials and re-fill the popcorn bowl.

And these are our most creative citizens - fantasy makers who open our eyes to the beauty of the world. Surely they could turn their gratitude into something amazing if given the chance. But all they get is the sudden shock of winning and then fifteen seconds to say what is in their hearts! No wonder they look stunned and seem a little dull witted.

Here at The Meeting That Never Ends, we're writing a proposal to re-structure the awards show sequence, making it a combination of election night, inauguration day and American Idol.

After the Oscar nominations are announced, the contestants should campaign for their awards, not with full page ads in Variety, but town-to-town across America! If George Clooney came to your Rotary meeting to ask for your vote, you'd give it to him, but what's more, you'd have a great story to tell. And you'd be invested in the process! So the voting should not rest with the Academy, it should be nationwide, and live, and it should happen on ONE BIG NIGHT! Critics and famous expert blowhards could offer their opinions as the tally progresses, culminating in a clear identification of the winners in every category by the end of the evening. But there are no thank you speeches - not yet.

One month later, the Live Oscars Thank You Show gives those winners a chance to express their feelings using their chosen art form. Whether they sing, dance, act, design costumes, write scripts, or work as gaffers, best boys and movie set caterers, they'll have a chance to show their stuff and prove once and for all that they deserve the prize they were given.

This does three things - celebrates gratitude, honors sincerity, and creates a multitude of cascading events - an original and at least two sequels, just like the movies themselves. That means more revenue for everybody, and with luck, higher ratings.

I think people will go for it, because greed is unpopular right now and gratitude is HOT. And who knows, if we can get them ramped up every February and March for Oscar voting, maybe they'll show some interest in the other kind of voting that happens in November!

We're working on some vehicles to move this idea to the next stage, but I thought you'd want a heads up! Run it by your people and get back to my people, who will get back to me!

Your friend,
Spin

Actually, I think Spin's idea is nutty. It couldn't possibly work.

Could it?

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I'd Like To Thank ...

Posted at 6:00 AM on February 1, 2010 by Dale Connelly (35 Comments)

Radio Heartland has tickets to see Mavis Staples at the Dakota in Minneapolis this Wednesday night at 7 pm.

Enter the drawing.
Obey the rules.
Good luck!

Seeing Mavis Staples perform live (in amazing 3-D, WITHOUT the funky paper glasses) would be an inspirational way to spend a February evening, and this week she might appreciate a supportive crowd even more than usual, having lost the Grammy for Best Contemporary Blues Album to the Derek Trucks Band last night.

It surprised me to learn that Mavis Staples has never won a Grammy, though her father (Pops) got one in 1994.

Awards show season can be frustrating for artists and their fans. If your favorite singer, actor, writer, set designer or foley artist doesn't win, it's a reminder that these shows are a pointless waste of time, an exercise in snobbishness, the purest form of self congratulation and the voters are a bunch of no-taste noodle heads.

And if your favorite wins, well, this is a date that will go down in history! Justice was served. The world acknowledged greatness.

My favorite awards show thank you speech pre-dates television. I loved what Nephew Thomas said when he accepted the prize for 1938 Stunt Man of the Year, receiving his first Marconi (the "Oscar" of the radio world) thanks to his uncanny ability to make it appear he was flying through the air using only his voice and manipulating his proximity to the microphone. He said:

I have so many people to thank, I'm going to have to disappoint them equally and not mention any names at all. Sorry, everybody. Kill me if you must, but that will be hard. I'm a Radio Stunt Man after all.

My only thank you tonight goes to gravity, because it has made my career possible.

It was gravity that pulled me off the side of HMS Indomitable when I played "Semaphore Operator 1", valiantly trying to signal Vice-admiral Beatty aboard HMS Lion during the riveting WW1 drama, "The Battle of Dogger Bank".

Gravity kept me from getting launched all the way into space when I played the Human Cannonball in "Carnival People!".

And it is gravity holding me here right now, at a time when I am so happy, I could float right to the ceiling of this auditorium, which would be a wonderful effect to do in some future radio dramaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

Of course at that point he did a vivid fade off mic that sounded for all the world like he was being inexplicably lifted upward - the sort of detail only a master can pull off.

If you had to give an acceptance speech right now, who would you thank?

And please, keep it brief. We have to get the commercials in.

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