In honor of "Wait Wait," write a news limerick
Posted at 5:00 AM on June 25, 2010
by Eric Ringham
(25 Comments)
Filed under: Culture
One year since the Question's inaugural,
With thousands of answers (we've logged them all),
Let's show our esprit
For "Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!"
Today, we want five lines of doggerel.
Peter Sagal and Carl Kasell are doing their show from Minnesota this week. In their honor, Today's Question invites you to post a news limerick. But remember ... keep it clean.
Comments (25)
At noon thousands of folks will join hands
For fifteen minutes in all different lands
To say, "No!" to big oil
As oceans and sands spoil
Folks will offer clean energy demands
With seven in our group at the State
Two pastors, two farmers, three exec-u-tates;
No Paula, but Mo--
Ready for a great show
Paid money to 'watch' this week's Wait, Wait!
On Wall Street the trading is brisk.
So much that the Feds want to frisk
all those who were bold,
took profit and sold
and left others to carry the risk.
Outside the US of A
“football” means different they say
It’s still lots of fun -
they constantly run!
“No hands!” and don’t stop the play!
There once was a girl from Nantucket
For wait wait, she'd raise quite a ruckus
She loved baseball as well
mused that both were quite swell
That show is preempted? Oh Puckett!
The president's surely a liar
Bush, then Barack's pants are on fire
Now General Petraeus
Is sure to betray us
He'll do as he's told, this new hire.
As the conflict in Afghanistan
Expands as bombs spread through the land
U.S. soldiers dying
Afghan widows crying
In a death-trap of Jihad with sand.
[Oscar W., you beat me to the punch, but here's another]
Gay Priders said "Hey Hey Ho Ho
A free Bible handout must go!"
But a judge has now ruled
And nobody's fooled
To the Gay Bible Ban he said: "NO!"
The President wakes from his snooze
And listens to NPR news
Report his pick of Petraeus
Who'll not--he is sure--betray us
But the oil continues to ooze
A Wisconsinite singing God's praise.
Was told to avoid our Pride Days
The supreme court said "Boy!"
"You've a right to annoy!"
"And Hand out your bibles to gays!"
"It’s now been one year since he’s gone:
Michael Jackson, pop music icon.
Like Elvis and Lady Di,
His fans still weep and sigh;
They’re just not ready to move on."
There once was a man named McChrystal
Whose mouth was a media pistol
He shot off opinions
on Obama’s minions
And now he’ll be working in Bristol
It seemed like run of the mill,
We'd have to swallow another hard pill,
The team seemed out again,
But along came Donovan,
Leading U.S. over Algeria, 1-Nil.
There once was a show called "Wait Wait"
That taped their new show at the State.
Do you think that their name
Or the crowd was to blame
For the fact they got started so late?
There once was a princess from Sweden
Whose wedding was considered news leadin’
But she started to pout
When big TV pulled out
And left their PR machine bleedin’
Hospital CEO's have said
That nurses are are way over paid
But if you should get sick
By a bite from a tick
Which one would you want by your bed?
I have a suspicious fear
That my governor wants a new career
Tea Baggers will feel appeased
As taxes surely will freeze
But those who can add
Will see this is bad
As the whole country pays higher fees
To his yacht Tony Hayward did flee
For a race in a far northern sea
Back he wanted his life
From such toil and strife
Caused by the oil of BP.
I can't prep for this weekend's gala
Or listen to Clapton play 'Layla'
Worse than jangling of keys,
or ten thousand bees
is the noise of a darn vuvuzela
In the gulf, the oil does flow
The people there now need more dough
If only some way
To make BP pay
Aha! 20 billion in escrow
There once was a bill in Congress
That really caused quite a ruckus
Finances in a tizzy
Making citizens dizzy
Seems impending doom is upon us
It's not only clear, it's crystal
The Prez says he's hot as a pistol
Though some had some doubt
They might work it out
He just had to fire ____________
A commander cashiered for a loss
of discretion must now see the cost
of speaking too plainly --
forgetting, insanely --
A Rolling Stone bothers the boss.
One year since he went toward the light
His fame keeps on reaching new heights
He'd his share of scandal
but never left fans dull
Now tell me - was he black or white?
There was a man in Afghanistan
who was not the top command
His criticisms flew
Washington in a brew
His resignation was soon in demand
In Toronto they are putting up a wall
And dissenters set up for a fall
The G-20 Summit is in town
The RCMP's face is a frown
They hope violence will not pay a call
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