Any Song can be a Love Song

Knee deep in Valentines Day requests, I can think of little else this week.

Do you have a song that is romantic for you, but that would not be recognized as a love song by anyone else? Is it possible for such a thing to exist, or has the commercialization of this "holiday' programmed us all to only be able to recognize romance in certain sounds or strings of words?

Some people express regret that the proliferation of candy and flowers has drained the romance from songs that they love, cheapening the whole idea of a great love song, but don't get sucked into that vortex! I always get an extra degree of satisfaction out of presenting this show because of the potential for it to create those "driveway moments," like it did for Jacqui (our overnight DJ) last year. Her special song had been used in a candy commercial so it had lost some of its aura;

"Wheat played my wedding song, Iron & Wine's cover of "Such Great Heights," on the show show last night (clearly, some of you love that song, too!) He started the song just as I pulled into a parking space at the grocery store.

All day long I'd been telling folks how the husband and I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day. You know, being my cynical self: it's too commercial, it's meaningless, I feel like it doesn't belong to me, it's just there to make single people feel bad and married people feel pressured ...

But then:

Maybe it was hearing my name mentioned on air (seriously - that never loses its thrill, even when you work on air.) Or maybe it was Wheat just reminding me that, yeah, it was my wedding song. Or maybe the Valentine's Day vortex finally sucked me in. I felt like I couldn't get out of my car - I had to stay and listen to the song in its entirety. And I did. I sat there, much to the chagrin of folks who really wanted my parking space, and I listened. And I called the hubby - who was still stuck in class at the U - and held my phone up to the car speaker so he could hear it, too. And I felt like my bones were made of vanilla pudding. You saved my song! You dug it out from the dumpster of commerce and buffed it to its original wedding-day shine! "

A lot of the requests start by saying; "It might not be the "greatest love song but...it's ours!" Of course the name of the night should not be
exclusive to those songs that have sold the most or get the most votes, (as some of our recent discussions have concerning Greatest Bands etc...) But I've realized that those people who have special songs which qualify as love songs are lucky! What about all of you who have special songs with your partner that do NOT qualify, but for some reason, of time, place, or genre have become special to you.

We'll hear all the cliches this week about what love is, but perhaps the only thing we can all agree on is that it is different for all of us, how wonderful is that! As all the card writers and advertisers play with all the metaphors and euphemisms for love, can a song or piece of music be romantic, a symbol or expression of love without being designed to be so?

We wrap up these discussions on a Thursday night too, between 8 and 9 p.m., so that will be part of our annual "Greatest Love Songs of All Time," Perhaps I can enlist your help to put a unique touch to this years show.

Personally, I feel that any song can be a love song. Do you have a song that is romantic for you, but that would not be recognized as a love song by anyone else?

(Ah, Wheat! You got me misty all over again!) I think a big category of love song that gets overlooked is the bittersweet song. They're too sweet to be break-up songs, but a little too sad to be love songs. Maybe it's just me and my old man, but when we're at our most cozy and happy (i.e. bored), we get weirdly nostalgic for our early, rocky begining--a time when we were on and off again, and all messed up over each other. It was painful at the time, but from our cozy vantage, it was pretty romantic. And there's a whole slew of songs from that time that fit that bittersweet category. Off the top of my head: The Wrens' "Thirteen Grand," Red House Painters' "Summer Dress," Low's "Like a Forest." We put these tunes on now and say, "Wow, remember when we almost split for good?" Maybe if we had split, those songs would just be bitter, not sweet. But since we came out the other end of that time intact, these otherwise sad songs have transformed themselves into the oddest of love songs.

This song stops me dead in my tracks everytime, though its not because I have a big teenage crush story to go with it...but then may be that's why I have such a reaction...I hear the song and my mind goes on a romantic imaginary voyage.

10CC - I'm Not in Love

This is exactly the kind of thing you're looking for: a song which, at face value, is anything but a love song, but has become one through special context.

I often think of songs that would nicely sum up a situation, and I often pass those observations along to my girlfriend (much to her chagrin). So, to take her by surprise one time and to play a little smart-ass joke, after a date I told her this song really summed up our relationship at that point, put in Elvis Costello's "Brutal Youth" album, and played "This is Hell."

Now, the first lines of that song always cause us both to smile. "This is hell, this is hell, I am sorry to tell you. It never gets better or worse."

Now if THAT'S not a song hijacked to become a love song, I don't know what is!

The front page extols "Every Step You Take," which I gather has become a wedding staple. But that's not a lover singing, it's a stalker!

my partner & i have 2 that i can think of. first is "Tom Courtenay" by Yo La Tengo. there are 2 versions of this - the album version with Ira's noisey discordant guitar skronk, and then the sweet folky acoustic demo version. the first is Ira's version, with him singing, and the second is Georgia's. & i think whenever we hear it, we think of both versions - how they represent the 2 sides of their relationship. its also alot of fun to play, after you figure out the chords.

...and the second Dale & Jim Ed just played this morning - "California Stars", by Billy Bragg & Wilco. its just a beautiful sentimental ballad - and also alot of fun to play.

I think the majority of songs that pull at my heart strings are cut from a very different mold than those of Etta James and Michael Buble' (ick). The ones that get to me are those that describe real love - the gut wrenching, semi-unstable rollercoaster of emotions. Let's face it, no love story is perfect, nor should love songs be. And I think Jacqui is right, the songs from the difficult times in a relationship are the ones you remember forever, thus:

Stars - "One More Night"
Rilo Kiley - "With Arms Outstretched"
Regina Spektor - "Field Below"

I would nominate "Naked As We Came" by Iron & Wine as a song that, on the surface is about death, but to me, is about love, life, relationship and partnership. Knowing that one will take care of the other in life and death, honoring wishes.

A beautiful song.

She says "If I leave before you, darling
Don't you waste me in the ground"
I lay smiling like our sleeping children
One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes round the yard

Steve, that was my point exactly regarding "Every Breath You Take." At first blush it sounds like love, but when you listen to it the creepy vibe comes through.

Speaking of vibes, there's a Cal Tjader song called (I think) "I Gotta Know Where You Are" with the line "If you move I'll find you." It's a really light and happy tune with no ill-will meant, but by today's standards, it's kinda scary.

There are a lot of songs that really cross that line from "I love you" to "It's not stalking if they love you back."

- Michael Wells

in that vein (stalker songs that sound more like poppy love songs), howabout REM's cover "Superman"?

"you don't really love that guy you make it with now do you?/i know you don't love that guy 'cause i can see right through you."

I think this is the perfect way to view love songs... I will admit that plenty of the "I am clearly meant to be a love song" songs get me and make me all sugary-soft as warm taffy, but so many "un-love" songs remind me of my most loved moments. I've always thought it odd that so many of the weddings I've been to, the couples choose a movement from a requiem (can we say "death mass")?! So keeping with the theme of things, I would say the following songs are very high on my list of love songs.

The Frames - Santa Maria
Belle & Sebastian - This Is Just A Modern Rock Song
Yo La Tengo - Speedy Motorcycle

I think this is the perfect way to view love songs... I will admit that plenty of the "I am clearly meant to be a love song" songs get me and make me all sugary-soft as warm taffy, but so many "un-love" songs remind me of my most loved moments. I've always thought it odd that so many of the weddings I've been to, the couples choose a movement from a requiem (can we say "death mass")?! So keeping with the theme of things, I would say the following songs are very high on my list of love songs.



The Frames - Santa Maria

Belle & Sebastian - This Is Just A Modern Rock Song

Yo La Tengo - Speedy Motorcycle

Unless you mean love of music, there are many songs that the majority would not consider love songs. Unless your taking some philosophical stance that anything is about love, there are songs that are not about love. There are some songs out there that are even about hate. I fail to see how a clearly racist song could be about love. I applaud you from taking the road less traveled, but the idea that every song is a love song is too romatisized.

In college, the majority of the students were music majors, and 2 or 3 times a year was 'performance major' time. For two days, 8-10 hours a day, students would perform a song to showcase their particular skill sets.

As sound technicians, we drew lots and grabbed shifts during different parts of the 2 days. I took the late afternoon shift, about 3 or 4 hours worth.

It nearly killed me. After 2 and a half hours of banal love songs, many butchered by the amateur performances, I was half serious of storming the stage and performing an impromptu session of a song from a recent album purchase.

The song? "Dead Man In My Bed", from Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds' Nocturama album.

Happy Valentines Everyone!!

What a wonderful story that is Jordan!

Realist..I didn't say EVERY song is a love song or could be seen as such, I said ANY song. What I meant was that because a song, is shared by two people who love each other, it becomes THEIR love song, even though we might not recognise it as being about love at all.

I'm so glad that Tracy suggested 10cc! That will be on at 8.30 tonight. It has been voted the most popular song of all time in the UK and I always took it to be a love song. Perhaps it's about someone trying to deny how strongly they feel? You decide. In fact that's the greatest thing about love really, we all decide what it is, for ourselves.

Whatever it is for you celebrate it tonight and if I don't get to your request or dedication ... I'm sorry.
We had over 400 requests and I can only play about 70. So if you want to leave a special message here in the comments, please do!

Thanks for sharing so many great stories!!

Just a quick plug for a hard-rockin' love-and-breakup combo deal -- The White Stripes "Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground."

It gets that ol' feeling right from the get-go:


Dead leaves and the dirty ground

when I know you're not around.

Shiny tops and soda pops

When I hear your lips make a sound ...

Funny. My husband and I were on our romantic getaway this weekend up North, where radio options are few (and my older car is CD-free). We found a tolerable station, but then "Every Breath ..." came on, and I had to dive to change the channel. I then went off about how creepy I think the song is. So, I'm with you Steve, et al.

Oh, and I think the "Big boys don't cry ..." whisper in "I'm Not in Love" is also really creepy. Then again, I'm anti-spoken word in songs.

On Valentine's night as we were wrapping up dinner and exchanging our cards, "our song" came on. It's a standard, so I knew Mark would play it at some point. The timing was notable, though. Thanks.