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I wasn't going to write about "The Mummy 3"

Posted at 1:46 PM on August 5, 2008 by Euan Kerr

OK, I'll admit it. I came into town after being overseas for weeks and decided to go see "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" without reading the reviews.

After seeing it I thought I would just put the sad episode down to experience and move on. Yet I now realize I have been doing a slow burn about the film.

I can put up with stupid. But the Mummy 3 is crassly stupid. In fact it's just crass.

What were the filmmakers thinking in making this film?

Examples: when the cry goes up that the archaeologists have discovered the Emperor's tombs, everyone runs to an entrance which must have taken hours to clear, but for some reason they have only just noticed it's a door.

So what does the adventurers do as they approach this great prize? Someone sticks dynamite to the door and blows it up, without any concern that this might destroy what they are after. Then they rush in with guns drawn, and quickly lose a couple of people to booby traps triggered by standing on a paving stone.

Do they worry about the horrible deaths suffered by their erstwhile pals? No. Do they watch where they put their feet afterwards? No.

And the film goes on for another 90 minutes after that. There's wooden acting, capped by an embarrassed looking Jet Li who seems to be hoping the special effects will obscure that it is, in fact, him in this film. There's a poorly written script which basically replicates the plot of the first two films, and lots of special effects which also pretty much replicate the first two films.

So why did they do it? The movie took in $42 million over the weekend. That's why.

I feel that burn coming on again.

August 2008
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