Posted at 8:35 AM on November 20, 2007
by Euan Kerr
So I am sitting in a theater watching "Beowulf" last night, glad like everyone else that the lights are down so they can't see me wearing the dorky 3D glasses. Beowulf is perfect for that because of it's dark menacing tones, filled with shadows, and serpentine-tailed Angelina Jolies.
It was one of those classic movie going experiences, an epic tale splashed across a huge screen, bathed in surroundsound.
Suddenly a light off to my right catches my eye. A tiny screen blazes in the dark. Someone is looking at a Blackberry.
To my horror I realize this person is not just looking at his/her infernal machine (it was so dark I couldn't determine gender) s/he is actually sending an e-mail, picking away at the tiny keys in the dark.
Now I should mention this was well into a 9.30 pm screening. Why would you have to e-mail anyone at that time from a movie theater? If it was that important why not just leave?
Studies have shown that in the dark the human eye can detect lights less than an inch across at a distance of a mile or more. A Blackberry screen at 10 feet - no problem.
Please people, leave the e-mail out of the theater and leave the rest of us blissfully in the dark.
Posted at 3:33 PM on November 20, 2007
by Euan Kerr
If you can, see the 3D version. Director Robert Zemeckis can't resist the cliched arrows and spears plunging into the audience, but otherwise the 3D is a pleasing addition to the whole shebang.
What's a little disconcerting is the voices.
The original epic poem was written in Old English, and as such is unintelligible to the English speakers of today. Also the characters all come from different places (and in a couple of cases species too.) So it's not surprising that they have different accents.
Yet it is a little bewildering to hear the Welsh accent of Anthony Hopkins as King Hrothgar bantering with Beowulf who speaks with Ray Winstone's jowly London accent.
And then you get Crispin Glover as Grendel moaning in what seems to be Old English, talking with his mother (Angelina Jolie) who switches into Lara Croft English whenever she tries to get under Beowulf's skin. All the rest of the characters seem to slide between Danish- and Dutch-tinged speech, occasionally within the same sentence.
Also, while the Angelina Jolie character rising from the water will no doubt be the subject of many a dream from here on, people were laughing aloud at the way this demon ridiculously shapeshifts into a pair of high heels.
But I am quibbling here. This is a lot of fun, and maybe it might even cause a few folk to check out the original text in all its glories.
All photos: Paramount Pictures and Shangri-La Entertainment, LLC