In the Loop

Potential veeps in poetic verse

Posted at 11:23 AM on October 2, 2008 by Sanden Totten (2 Comments)

Tonight's VP debates should be interesting. And of course we'll be talking about it on our show tomorrow. But instead of turning to spinsters and pundits, In The Loop has asked a pair of poets to weigh in on the two candidates. They'll be watching the debates and they'll give us their impressions in verse.

To get us warmed up, they've each written a poem about the candidate they are following. Enjoy!


Governor Palin,
let's be honest.
You are a remarkably

weird choice
for Republican vice-
presidential candidate.

You have confidence,
you say, and that
seems true enough.

When McCain asked,
you didn't blink,
you say, because

you're wired
in that certain way
people on a mission

need to be wired;
in other words, you try
not to overthink.

Let's not mistake
your confidence
for naïveté.

It's like
the Nike

"Just Do It."
We've bought that line
for a long time,

but now it rings
a little hollow:
do what, precisely?

- by Aaron Belz

Forgotten But Not Gone

Barack, how can my experience help the ticket
if no one experiences me?

The press didn't even notice when
I said you can put lipstick on a moose
but it's still just a moose you've shot

It's gaffe watch only
for the TV crews with me
See if Joe says something stupid

While Palin tries to say nothing at all
day after day,
I'm a swing state ghost.

Well, all I can say is
I can't wait
for the debate.

- By Craig Kenworthy

Comments (2)

OK. I admit it. I can't resist the combination of political parody and music. I want to be Mark Russell when I grow up.

With that in mind, I wrote the following ditty for Republican Veep pick Sarah Palin. I'd actually written it right after her nomination, but since a day is a lifetime in politics, I've updated a little for tonight's debate. Heck, I'd even come sing it if you want. It sounds better than it reads, if you ask me. It's easier to sing it and capture the meter of the song than it is to try capturing the meter while reading it.

(ahem... cue the jazz quartet...)

Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin, McCain named you
You’re all he wanted in a running mate

Not long after, Anne Kilkenny then defamed you
Book banning, cronyism, Troopergate

Does your smile woo lots of voters, Sarah Palin?
Tina Fey impersonates you to a T!

“Thanks but no thanks” to your beehive and eyewear!
Bridge-to-nowhere – you said “Go there!”

Are you the one to be Number 2, Sarah Palin?
Or a pistol-packin, VP-wannabe?

(… schmaltzy bridge to the next verse …)

Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin loves her hunting
She wants Mooseburgers served at the White House

While she wraps Trig up in Family-Values bunting,
Teenage Bristol gets knocked up without a spouse

Did you charm Gibson and Couric, Sarah Palin?
Or stun them both with your naievete?

VP dreams might just slip through your grasp , then
If you're out-gaffin' Senator Biden!

Should you be the Number 2, Sarah Palin?
Or just some lipstick-pit-bull VP history?

Sarah Palin!
Sarah Palin!

Posted by Jennifer Emanuel Narveson | October 2, 2008 2:10 PM

Thanks for posting that! You wrote this to the tune of "Mona Lisa," right?

Posted by Sanden Totten | October 2, 2008 2:16 PM

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