I've had my head wrapped up in a lot of hard news these past few days. It was getting to the point where I was losing my ability to concentrate on anything other than headlines. But when I stumbled across this funny expose of the life of a Jack Sparrow impersonator, I read the whole thing line by line, totally transfixed.
The writer spills the beans on what it's like to be one of the Magic Kingdom's hottest stars:
"I would also get offers from women in my ear: "Anything you want, just find me." I had a girl who had turned 18 the day before . . . she wrote down her room number at the Downtown Disney hotel. I had a lady hump my leg one day in the park."
If you're thinking 'the pirate's life for me!', you might want to reconsider. He also dishes up the dirt on Disney's strict rules for their costumed characters lives, both on the job and off. Being Jack Sparrow ain't all "yo ho ho and a bottle of rum." But at least after reading this you may find you have a little more respect for what these theme park mascots go through just to pose for pictures with you on your vacation.