Posted at 10:01 AM on June 8, 2007
by David Zingler
As we all know (but don't like), Barry Bonds will break Hank Aaron’s all time homerun record sometime in this summer. Although, he doesn’t appear to be in a hurry to do it – the bubble-headed slugger has homered just once since May 8.
The current record holder, Hank Aaron, whose hat size remained stable throughout his career, has long since washed his hands of the proceedings. At a press conference yesterday, held at the spot where his 755th homerun supposedly landed, the Hall of Famer was asked if Commissioner Bud Selig should be in attendance when Bonds finally does eclipse the record.
"I've not spoken to (Selig) at all," Aaron told the Associated Press. "That's his decision and I'm sure he'll make the right one."
Considering Aaron and Selig have been “friends” for decades, I have a hard time believing such a discussion has not taken place.
Enough about Selig and Aaron, lets get to the good stuff. What about Bonds’ former “trainer” and “friend”, Greg Anderson? The former BALCO employee has been rotting in jail since August 28 of last year for refusing to testify to a grand jury about his relationship with Bonds. I want to see his reaction when Barry finally stains the record book. Why not a put a camera in cell and mic him?
Since Bonds obviously doesn’t have much respect for the game, its records or its greatest players, why not just go with it? He could be greeted at home plate by Verne Troyer, both Howard Sterns and Morganna the Kissing Bandit. At that point, we could suspend the game and throw the new Homerun King into a steel cage match with Jose Canseco, which would be officiated by Jesse Ventura...OK, I am just brainstorming...but, I am on to something...right??