Posted at 12:33 PM on May 23, 2006
by David Zingler
ST. PAUL - On a high from finally passing legislation that will allow the Minnesota Twins to build a new, open-air Minneapolis stadium, the state legislature recently passed a lesser known bill that will provide team owner Carl Pohlad with a lavish, new mansion funded largely by taxpayer dollars.
“Compared to other Major League Baseball owners, Mr. Pohlad’s current residence is appalling,” Twins president David St. Peter explained. “The bathrooms are inadequate, the hallways are narrow, the kitchen is void of many of the items considered essential to the super rich and the garage does not provide proper storage for his collection of exotic automobiles.”
There was however, one hitch – the 6,000 square foot residence will not have a roof. “We had to be pragmatic here, you just can’t get everything you want in these deals,” St. Peter continued. “Besides, Mr. Pohlad has spent the majority of his nine decades on this planet indoors, so this could be a nice change of pace.”
In a bold move, the legislature passed the bill despite a Star Tribune poll that showed only 1% of area residents support such legislation. “The thing to remember here is that ‘the people’ don’t have the money, but big hitters like the Pohlads do.” House Speaker Steve Swiggum pointed out. “As an elected official, I feel it is my duty to keep the Pohlads of the state happy. It just makes life easier."
Governor Tim Pawlenty had a different take,“We couldn’t let our state be void of a Major League Baseball owner," Pawlenty said of Pohlad, who was rumored to be considering a move to Las Vegas. “(Former Vikings owner) Red McCombs proved that out-of-state ownership doesn’t work. This was really done for the fans.”
what a complete travesty!...I am outraged....they at least could have had the decency to put a retractable roof on it!
Horrible. Only 1% of the people wanted to pay this tax, and it was still passed. Everyone should protest and stop this staduim from being built. Pohland has 2.8 billion, let him built the staduim himself or at least pay for most of it.
Do we at least get to have referendums to decide what color to paint the rooms, or whether to go with the granite or Cambria countertops?
Next year at this time Governor Jeffers will veto a new mansion for Zigy Wilf.
wow... lame... I thought this site catered to Twins fans??? Why would Pohlad build a stadium with his own money?? It was a simple choice: build a stadium or lose the team. I realize the above story and comments are tongue in cheek. I just hope people on the losing end of the fight will eventually drop it. I look forward to watching the Twins with my kids in a stadium built for baseball. In 20 years, I think we will look back on this as a great move. Of course, compared to the Metrodome debacle, anything would.