A cry for help.......

Posted at 9:54 AM on September 14, 2005 by David Zingler

After watching the local nine easily dispose of Detroit last night, I began to think about the Twins season, looking for meaning. Sure it won’t end with a postseason birth, but it has been entertaining. As I weighed the pros and cons of our Little Team that (almost) Could’s 2005 season, a strange thing happened…

Poof! Out of thin air an eight-inch tall Dick Bremer with angel wings and a harp began to float over my right shoulder. Then, just as suddenly, an eight-inch by eight-inch Patrick Reusse with devil horns and a pitchfork popped up over my left shoulder.

Here is a transcript of what ensued...

Saint Dick: Hey! The Twins are on a winning steak!

Patrick the Terrible: Arrrr...it’s only two games. As far as their playoffs hopes go...well, a dozen Krispy Kremes sitting on my lap stand a better chance of surviving.

Saint Dick: The organization is loaded with young men that are not only talented on the diamond, but assets to the community!

Patrick the Terrible: Grrrr....yeah, they should crank out a fresh batch of David McCar..err, Justin Morneau’s real soon.

Saint Dick: Justin Morneau has shown me that he is the power presence the Twins need!

Patrick the Terrible: - burp - Do I need to recite David Ortiz’s stats?

Saint Dick: Despite the restraining order, I just can’t say enough good things about Joe Mauer!

Patrick the Terrible: Circle this - expletive deleted - .

Saint Dick: The Twins Community Fund: Building diamonds and dreams!

Then, just as quickly as they appeared, the pair vanished. I meanwhile, am perplexed. Who is right? Has this season been a complete waste or are the Twins merely building for bigger and better things?

I need your help!! Please!!! They are bringing the straightjacket as we speak.....

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