Posted at 12:40 PM on June 8, 2005
by Bob Collins
During the storms last night, my satellite receiver upstairs fried, so I headed down to the basement where, alas, a second receiver sits on standby, plugged to the TV, waiting to be used. As luck would have it, there was nothing on late last night except for the Indians-Padres game.
I watched it for awhile, it being one of the classic rivalries and all. To pass the time while watching the two teams battle through 11 innings of scoreless baseball, I tried to come up with new ways to describe "inept."
Then I noticed it. The jerk in the front rows, behind the plate, talking on the cellphone, and waving. These folks have become the 21st Century verson of the folks who used to wave the John 3:16 sign. But I liked them better.
Who's on the other end of the phone? Do they really care that this guy is on TV? They're on the phone for a long time. After the first, "heyyyyy, I'm on TV....hiiiiiiiii! Can you see me??????? heyyyyyyy!" then what else is there to say? And why do they say it.
So just for the heck of it, I fired up Google and entered "people who talk on cellphones during baseball games." As you might expect, there was a truckload of material.
SportsHistory.US provides an answer. Here's the play by play of getting on TV. Notice the irony when the writer calls other people who talk on cellphones at ballgames "jackasses." Delicious.
The writer in the San Franscisco Chronicle looks at it from a somewhat different perspective. A woman goes hunting for companionship at a ballgame.
Noumenalself.com wonders "what's wrong with talking on the cellphone?" And gets answers.
Read Darwin, whoever he is, writes and says almost word-for-word what I wrote at the top of this page. But I thought of it first. Really.
In a poll on ESPN, the practice makes the top 10 most irritating thing about sports. At #1!!!
Mike Cassidy, writing in the San Jose Mercury News says "the latest phone chucking came at Wrigley Field, where drunken Cubs fans have grown tired of tossing home run balls back onto the field. In the eighth inning Thursday, some imbecile winged a cell phone instead and hit San Diego Padre Sean Burroughs in the foot."
Wish they'd take aim at Aaron Boone.
i would have to agree with the editors of page2 that the tomahawk chop is a smidge more irritating than loser on the phone behind the plate. in a similar vein, i want to know if it is just as bad to text message from one phone to another and that person is in the same row? i hope not. i may be in the wrong. however, there are times when the music is so loud you can't hear someone just a mere three seats away.
Bob, you are a real true fan. I can't believe you have a second receiver on standby in the basement. Most people's wives would put the hammer down on that. Way to go Bob!!
In all honesty, having the second receiver allows my wife to watch Beaches on the better TV.