Commentary
Lady Edith and the advantage of a nontraditional beauty
by Lucie AmundsenLucie Amundsen is a Duluth writer and graduate student and co-owner of Locally Laid Egg Company. She is a source in MPR News' Public Insight Network.
I look like Lady Edith. I know because when I wondered about it in a casual Facebook post, an alarming number of people wrote to confirm it. Scores of them. As one friend typed, "We've been saying this in our house for weeks!" ("Masterpiece" recently premiered its third season in the States, so I can only imagine that the entire nation has "Downton Abbey" on the brain.)
Then just a few days ago, at a funeral of all places, a stranger walked across the room to tell me of my striking resemblance to the earl of Grantham's middle daughter. I was tempted to say, "Oh, you mean the homely, pernicious one?" but instead smiled and nodded my affirmation. When you're right, you're right.
Like my doppelganger, I possess what is politely called a nontraditional beauty. Edith and I sport a side-parted, wavy hairstyle and what may be described as an ornithic profile — in which a generous nose meets a less-than-substantial chin for a decidedly birdlike appearance. My own nose precludes the normal use and enjoyment of champagne flutes. Shot glasses, too. So when I say that having unconventional looks hasn't been easy, I know what I'm talking about.
I'd like to call on the Crawley estate and take tea with Edith. I wouldn't try to convince her that physical beauty doesn't matter — that's just not true. Who wouldn't want to walk around as the ethereal Lady Sybil, if even for a day? But as an adult in my early 40s (and junior high far behind me), I see some good to growing up without the crutch of conventional good looks.
For one, it repelled shallow men. More importantly, my outsider status made me a keen observer of life and cultivated my sense of humor. These attributes, more than anything, have infused me with an energy that continues to attract interesting people.
The best illustration I could share with her comes from my favorite job. It was writing for a national how-to magazine, teaching homeowners how to maintain and improve their properties. We'd hire models and photograph my projects step by step, like "How to build a closet organizer out of a sheet and a half of oak veneer plywood."
The models were sometimes nice, sometimes not, but what they all had in common was their constant nervous scramble for the next gig. Between shots they were in constant contact with their agents, because they understood that the same society that worshiped and rewarded their fine looks also had its capricious fingers on a corner of the rug. One day there would be no more lucrative jobs for these pretty faces, while I'd still be happily working my laptop on an overturned bucket just beyond the photographer's lights.
I would not pretend to Lady Edith that it's been easy. Age helps, and it also reveals that even the most attractive people have areas of self-doubt. Every now and again I still bobble, but the best support for my footing comes up to my chin these days; she just turned 12.
If I tell my daughter to celebrate her every aspect, while tearing myself down in my head, she senses it. Kids are creepy that way. Turns out, I love her more than enough to send some my way, too.
Across the china tea service, I'd share all this and counsel Edith to go create a joyous life, stop comparing herself to her sisters and rest assured that there are wonderful romantic partners who will see and appreciate her beauty. It happened to me. Lastly, I'd like to put my hand over hers and say, "Edith, dear, being a fool is part of growing up. But could you please stop doing it while wearing my face?"
Comments (11)
Love this, Lucie! And even though I don't have a doppelganger on PBS (at least that I'm aware of), I can completely relate to the sentiments expressed. I think there are very few women who don't grow up with insecurities about their appearance. I feel fortunate in that I (mostly) made my peace with my personal appearance related insecurities years ago (I'm also 40-something). It always gives me pause when I encounter friends and colleagues who fit so much more neatly into traditional beauty norms than I do, yet they seem so much more worried and anxious about the care and maintenance of that beauty. Not for me.
As a middle school teacher, I work on finding ways to reassure my "school daughters" that looks really aren't everything and that many things get better with time. I go so far as to post a photo of my 8th grade self in my classroom, which they love. (Is it telling that even I -- in my "confidence" -- will not post a 6th or 7th grade photo, because to this day that is not an image I want to greet me every morning?)
I am a mother of three boys, so my home lessons are somewhat different. Not the "love the way you look" message so much (although even boys worry that they aren't "buff" enough); but the "love everyone for who they really are" message. I hope one day that my boys will bring home romantic partners who are interesting, funny and accepting of all - no matter what their outward appearance.
Looks like someone is really full of herself today.
42 I's, me's, and my's in a short article.
Narcissism strikes deep, into your life it will creep...
Wonderful article. However, I never thought of Lady Edith as anything BUT beautiful...she is actually my favorite character in the series! And, yes, you guys are definitley twins!
I think both you (and Lady Edith) are lovely and that all three of those actresses would likely turn heads if they walked into a restaurant in Minnesota.
Edith likely gets the shaft not because she's less attractive, but because (like poor Jan on the Brady Bunch) she's the middle child with an older sister and a younger sister who are both total drama queens.
Thanks for your insights, Lucie -- spot-on!
You do look like Lady Edith -- and that's good. However, your worldview seems a lot more healthy. Then again, you weren't recently abandoned at the altar ...
As for me, I expect a personal essay to have lots of personal pronouns ... just saying ...
Who made you such a spoilsport, Betty Blevins? This article was about Ms. Amundson, how would you have had her refer to herself? You diminish yourself with your petty behavior.
Brilliant post. Thank you.
I always thought the way they spoke about Edith's looks were kind of a joke. I mean, she is obviously gorgeous. I've been taking it as a commentary on changing ideas of beauty- that someone so lovely wouldn't have been considered so at the time, just due to tastes and trends.
I guess that means I'm confused as to your use of "non-traditional beauty", because these ideas are changing constantly.
Point is, if you can only see beauty in one set of features, you lack imagination and are missing out on some wonderful parts of life.
I had no idea they referred to Edith as not beautiful? Her sould most certainly is as it seeks true love:):):) I think that Edith is beautiful as is this piece and I think you are very wise indeed to celebrate what is beautiful in YOU as our children will do as we do and not as we say:):):) I had a funny expereince regarding beauty a summer ago standing in knee deep water in Hanalei Hawaii when an incrediblly beautiful and beautiful woman- and int he traditional Gaughin sense....stepped into the water and for a moment we all just admired and there was a quiet hush...the human figure, in her case I think was designed to give us all a taste of something wonderful and she carried this gift so beautifully!
Right on, Lucie! May happiness shine on you.
I felt very sad when Edith was left at the altar and hope Mr. Fellowes has a rich future planned for her. When Lady Edith finds more confidence in her own worth she will hopefully, be seen differently by those who have dubbed her as lacking. " Beauty is, as beauty does, " unfortunately, is only able when witnessed over time. Here is to her finding her voice, joy, and calling!
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