Commentary
At end of a political season, neighbors have to get over lawn sign language
By Lucie Amundsen
Lucie Amundsen, a Duluth writer and graduate student, is a source in MPR News' Public Insight Network.
I pulled the lawn sign out of the oversized planter in my front yard today. The dangling potato vine and colorful mums that looked so lively back in September have withered, crunching a bit as I jostled free the metal posts. It would be easy to infer that the sign itself, channeling the rancor of the electorate, poisoned the life in the soil. But I know it's only my inattention to regular watering and Duluth's frosty nights.
As much as I've believed in my candidates and causes, I'm relieved to detangle my politics from my curb appeal. It's been important to show my support, but I've felt the discord in my community and know that every sign added to the argument's volume.
My children, 9 and 11, were attuned in a way they haven't been in previous years. From the backseat, they counted every "Vote No" sign on the route to school, the grocery store and library. They were collecting their own polling data and, I can't help think, quietly assessing which houses would be safe to approach if lost.
I tell them that different signs do not make those people our enemies, pointing out how great it is to live where we can voice beliefs. They're quiet in the backseat while I ramble on about our luxury of free speech. Maybe they're taking it all in, or simply tuning it out. Parenting often feels like talking to the cat.
I understand their distrust. Back in 2004, my presidential sign was regularly vandalized. The perpetrator would run it over with a bicycle, leaving tire tracks in my yard right up to the corrugated placard splayed out like a crime victim. I'd try to smooth out the metal stakes and re-plant my political statement, but with its kittywampus appearance it looked like it had just staggered home from a bender at the local pub. It wasn't helping the cause.
During this time my husband was away on military duty, and I was left to single-parent a baby and a preschooler while trying to work from home.
Maybe it was the lack of sleep, adult conversation, or outrage that a military family would be deprived of this basic freedom, but I became fixated. My progressive voice was going to be part of the otherwise conservative boulevard dialogue. I bought a bigger sign.
While the baby nursed I sketched plans to reinforce my sign with two-by-fours and Googled terms like, "how to make a tire spike strip." The game ratcheted up and went on like this for weeks. He (I always imagined my rival was a he) would defeat my latest innovation and I'd go one higher, installing rebar and guy wire in the middle of the night while the children slept.
Until one morning I went to get my newspaper and saw... nothing. My sign was simply gone. My opponent wasn't interested in playing anymore; he just wanted me to shut up. I didn't have the wherewithal to tote my young children back to campaign headquarters for a new sign.
These days I've been telling my children that with the election over, the signs will come down and we'll just go back to being neighbors again. They nod, but they don't buy it. Especially the little one, who is cursed with his mother's haunting memory for detail.
Already he calls out from the back of the minivan which houses had what signs and what churches were "Vote Yes" ones. I only nod and offer a noncommittal "hmmm," though I see the ghostly rectangular outlines of lawn signs past, too.
If I do nothing to encourage this game, perhaps it will fade and not taint how he sees his community. Perhaps, if I make an effort, this will work for me, too.
Comments (5)
My girls are 9 & 11 too, and this resonates with me. My "Vote No" paraphernalia and the discussions I have had with my girls go strongly against the messages they heard at their conservative Catholic school. In some ways I also hope that their memory of this doesn't taint their views of the people we know. But I also know that a mental catalog of who's safe will be important for them. They don't know it yet, but in a few months they will find out they are part of a GLBT family. Our âVote Yesâ acquaintances will find out too. There will be many changes, and theyâll need the knowledge of who's safe.
My real hope is for actual equality for gay and lesbian couples and transgender people. I wish that our neighbors with the "Vote Yes" signs can see that we GLBT people aren't going to bring about the destruction of humanity and values. I wish they could live their own lives according to their religions, without imposing their rules on others. I wish they would stop deciding who others can love and what gender they are allowed to be, as if they should have a say in either of those things. I would rather not have my girls keep the same mental catalog I've carried for years of who's safe and who's not by making the "not safe" list fade out of existence. Thankfully, as Iâve come out to many people over the past few years, my personal ânot safeâ list is steadily shrinking.
Thanks for your commentary and your courage to stand up for what you believe! I really love your writing style!
Alison, I wish you the very best during your next few months. Truly, you're the courageous one here.
Thank you for your kind words about the essay. I'm touched it resonated with you and hope it makes you and yours feel less alone in the big world.
Peace,
Lucie
It saddens me that those with a different viewpoint are now considered "not safe."
My sons (10 & 6) also tracked the signs, which was really the first time they felt like they were a part of a cause they saw endorsed by other people who put up their bright orange signs. I had to tell them to stop yelling everytime they saw one, because we'd established that Lawn Signs Are Exciting, and Mommy is going deaf.
But seeing signs of opposition also gave us an opening for an important conversation about why people see things differently, and how those signs shouldn't trigger hateful language. We talked about why people embrace or shrink from change, and the personal journey that everyone in our state was on this year. I'd like to think that the impact of the signs and the conversations they triggered was mostly positive.
It saddens me too, JB, but that is the way it is. This is isn't an opposing viewpoint on something like taxes, climate change, or seat belt usage. This is about me personally, my very identity, the person who inhabits my soul - not my viewpoint. That different viewpoint devalues me as a person, and in the presence of those with the that viewpoint I truly don't feel safe. People are avoided, shamed, ridiculed, beaten, and killed for having an identity like mine.
Thank you Lucie.
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