Photo: #Joseph Scrimshaw, actor, writer and comedian.
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Joseph Scrimshaw, actor, writer and comedian. (Courtesy of Joseph Scrimshaw)

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Facebook friends, let's have a look in those lunchboxes

by Joseph Scrimshaw
November 16, 2011

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A lot of people are upset about Facebook. I know because people post about it all the time on Facebook. And I could not agree more. Facebook needs to change.

Recently, I hosted a memorial for a friend who passed away this summer. He was a playwright and we wanted to share as many of his words as possible. I realized there was an untapped well of his writing on Facebook. So I read every update, every comment, every activity and relationship status that he had posted in the past three years. I compiled them into a sort of tone poem. A snapshot of his life. Reading the posts was a huge joy. It was like having my friend back for a few minutes.

And in the process I discovered Facebook used to be really cool. People used to talk about their actual lives.

But now my Facebook feed is mostly people reposting things: a picture of someone else's cat with a funny caption. An article exposing the shocking truth that a politician I already don't like said something else that I don't like. And my least favorite post: the inspirational quote dubiously attributed to a long-dead famous person.

Yes, Abraham Lincoln, life is what you make it. You're right, Oscar Wilde, I am the change I want to see. I should reach for the stars, Einstein, and I will! Right after I spend two hours reading 87 other posts reminding me that life is short so I shouldn't waste my time.

I want Facebook to be personal again. I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I want to know what you had for lunch. I want to see photos of your pets in the embarrassing holiday outfits that you crocheted for them. I even want to be invited to your poetry readings.

I want my Facebook feed to be a flood of the trivial and mundane. I want to hear about all the stuff that is so strange I couldn't possibly make it up. I want my friends to paint a portrait of themselves one description of their lunch at a time.

Because as Abraham Lincoln probably never said, "Life is short, but if you post a lot on Facebook, it can also be strangely deep."

Comments (3)

That's interesting because I have been looking for less of the mundane. I foolishly believed Facebook would open up a whole new world of connections for me. I believed I would somehow connect with friends and family who liked the same bands as me and we could plan concert trips together. I believed I would find others who like books, movies, art and we could connect. Lastly, I foolishly believed I would connect with others who shared my dreams of social justice, harmony with the earth, and blah blah blah. None of this happened. I have only learned my friends and family enjoy farmville and want me to give them a cow.

Posted by Kendra Ryan from Zumbrota, MN | November 17, 2011 3:52 PM

You're cute, wanna be my friend. I agree, what's up with facebook lately when all you see is quotes and jokes. I guess it has morfed into this. Daily fun facts of life are found in blogs. Now I really like blogs. Do you have a blog?

Posted by Corinne Eckhardt from Blue Earth, MN | November 17, 2011 10:00 PM

Somewhere along the way we too the "status update" too literally. Let's face it, for the most part our lives are boring - isn't that the reason reality shows are scripted? You see it with new users. Cute, vulnerable posts akin to the family email blasts. Then they fall victim to being interesting and a need to be better than the rest of their "friends". It's very high-schoolish, as we project our ideal selves to people who don't know us well enough to see through the thin disguise.

There's a right balance between the thinking and the linking. Between the introspection and the location detection. And the equillibrium is you. In a world of distant friends and acquaintances, we forget the the people who are our real friend are our real friends because they got to know us; not someone else.

When we get back to using it to connect and not to impress you'll see the endearing side of this communication chanel come back. Now back to my status feed, I've missed 87 commnets and likes.

Posted by Adam Ronich from Minneapolis, MN | November 18, 2011 12:21 PM

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