Commentary
To pay or not to pay? Our obligation to the homeless and down-and-out
by Britt AamodtThe setup begins in a familiar manner. The young man, hands bunched in his pockets, slouches to my pump. He doesn't catch my eye until he's right on top of me. He says, "Hey, can I ask you a question?"
I have stopped at the Super America on 35th and Chicago. My fuel gauge teeters on empty. My stomach is crying out for something more substantial than the few tortilla chips I wolfed on my way out the door. I have an appointment in an hour. And I've heard this line before. Too many times. "Can I ask you a question?"
What am I supposed to say? No, thanks, got enough questions of my own? Do I win a prize? What about that dude with the Beamer? Bet he's rolling in answers.
The people with the questions rarely single out the BMWs, Acuras and Audis of this world. Instinct or hard experience has taught them that you don't earn a big-ticket car by being free with your wallet.
Or maybe I'm generalizing again. Already, I've lumped the young man into the generic "they" and "them."
But you and I both know where his question about a question leads. On this particular morning, I say, "OK," because it would be rude to say otherwise.
And so he continues. "See, my car basically drifted here on fumes." His thumb gestures at a bucket loafing at the next pump. "And I was wondering if maybe you could just" -- my jaw tenses -- "give me four bucks or whatever?"
"No," I say, and unscrew my gas cap. I'm already looking at 50 bucks to fill my modest sedan. Dare I add a $4 gratuity to assuage my Christian guilt? To feed the poor and all that?
By now, you've possibly made a judgment about me - either than I'm cheap or that I'm generous. I certainly made a judgment about the young man: that he was bent on a cheat.
Later, I shared my story with friends. They stand among those who rain spare change on the Twin Cities' less fortunate. Yes, they said, he may have been working a con. Yes, he's not Cinderella and you're not his fairy godmother. But ...
But what?
Maybe it's because I live in the suburbs -- where people angling cardboard solicitations at stopped traffic are rare -- but I don't feel a civic duty to cough up dollars for the asking.
I've been promised impromptu poetry and country-western ditties in return for cash. I've been approached at bus stops, in coffee shops, on walks and outside restaurants. I've been told about keys locked in a car. (She needed money for a locksmith.) I've been petitioned for light rail fare and cigarettes and booze -- in currency, if you please. Still, I say no.
I guess I'm a born cynic. But I believe, too, that there are better means of improving society, and people closer to home and to heart in need of a boost. I believe we strive, most of us, to live our today better than our yesterday, and that we fail again and again. Yet, by slipping a bill into a stranger's hand, do we improve a human life or our own self-regard?
At the pumps, the young man watches cars come and go. He disregards some and approaches others. "Excuse me? Can I ask you a question?"
I merge into traffic, weighed down by a full tank and a familiar guilt. I would not give the young man $4, not for anything in the world. A cynic, I don't credit a word he says. Still, I have lost in our exchange. I have lost the certainty of my own goodness. Someone asked for help, and I said no.
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Britt Aamodt is a print and radio journalist, and the author of "Superheroes, Strip Artists, & Talking Animals." She is a source in MPR's Public Insight Network.
Comments (12)
Not a bad plan, however with the growing number of folks livin' on the streets, what should be done?
IF you perceive the ask is real, maybe food wouldn't hurt, eh?
We keep granola bars in the car - handy to have for those on the corners. That 100 grand per annum, after talking with those out there, seems to be just another urban myth. But yes, we can ignore it, even if we live in the city. Or, not.
As a former drug addict, I can assure you most of these people are not homeless folks..this is how we got money for drugs. It's something as an addict you look down on, until you can't find money elsewhere. As the person said, offer to pump a few dollars into their tank if you feel bad, or buy them a hamburger. Don't given them money - more often than not it goes for drugs. We used to make quite a bit of money I kid you not. The guys with signs, at a good location, could clear a couple hundred in a day.
When people ask for money or hold up cardboard signs downtown, I go right by them. They can walk over to the Basilica and get a sandwich any day of the week. If you are feeling guilty about driving by them, volunteer your time preparing sandwiches. http://www.mary.org/index.php?Itemid=199&id=179&option=com_content&task=view
I've offered to buy people coffee and a sandwich at a cafe I frequent. They've never taken me up on it. Why? Maybe they think I'm lying that if they go there, present my business card they will get $6 to buy a coffee and sandwich (which are quite good and filling).
But I give them out, when I can.
I do give money to street musicians and sometimes food to a few, otherwise usually not. When you work downtown you get to be familiar with many of the panhandlers
I agree that many people are just scamming, but there are also those that are genuinely down on their luck and have resorted to asking for help by holding a sign. It isn't the perfect solution. I wish that everyone had a home and comfy bed to lie in, but that simply isn't the case.
I remember a long article in the Star Tribune several years ago that covered sort of a "day in the life" of some of these homeless individuals. They would literally work together like a family unit and divide evenly what money they were given that day. Again, it certinly isn't the perfect option, but I see it as giving to a charity that I know is receiving 100% of the donation. I do my best to observe clearly who is just playing the part to get money for beer for the college buddies, or the junkie who is trying to get money for their next fix. Clearly, I don't always know, but sometimes you just have this gut feeling.
I too keep granola bars in my car so if I find them questionable or just simply feel like it, I can hand those out knowing I didn't add to any addiction or con.
There are many homeless people that just don't know what to do. We have places for them to stay and food to give them to eat, but as far as rehabilitating to hold down a job, they may have a mental or physical illness that limits what they can do and who will accept them for who they are. I don't have an answer. I don't feel it is everyone's responsibility to stop and hand out money. To each their own.
Sometime I give, and I feel bad about giving money away. Sometimes I don't, and I feel bad about not giving money away. Once - several years ago - when my daughter was taking ballet classes at Hennepin Center for the Arts - downtown at 6th & Hennepin - I ran out to the parking lot to look for a missing ballet slipper. With my head down, digging through the piles in our minivan, I saw a man approach in my peripheral vision. Feeling threatened, I turned and yelled, "Stop! Don't come closer!" The man stopped immediately and said, "I'm sorry. I don't want to scare you. It's just that I'm hungry." I said, "Ok, stay there," and I rifled through my purse, passing by the $20 and looking for the $5 that I was sure was there. I walked over to him and gave him the $5. He looked at me intensely, thanked me, and then - so unexpectedly - hugged me - holding strong and long. I hugged him back and held him tight. I could feel how desperate he was. I told him to take care of himself, and I walked away. I will always regret not giving that man the $20.
Sometimes...
Such a heartwrenching topic! So what if u may give someone a dollar and they may/may not use it for beer! Or hey, here is a thought they may really need it! Not everyone asking is an addict or a liar... Can u tell? Probably not! Everyone is soo he'll bent that everyone Is bad, and that is not the case' ever seen the movie pay it forward ! Ever heard of karma? Have a heart
I give to those who ask and my heart says to do so. My Mother always said that once you give ( no matter what it is ) it is theirs to do with what they will. Sometimes my heart says yes, and I never question my actions.
The giving makes me feel like I am helping someone in need.
I have been helped before.
I Pay it forward.
Hey think of it this way. If he or she was a drug addict and you gave them money, and they went and bought drugs with that money. then they died from an OD. How would you feel about yourself then? I have been approached hundreds of times, each time I offer whatever they need, food, gas, clothes, ect.... And every single time they don't want it. If you are really in need of food, and someone offers you a burger you take it, if you really need gas and some one offers you 5 gallons you take it. So my policy is anything they need, except money.
Test
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