Commentary
After a year of contention, this Lutheran longed for community
by Alice ReuterLast summer, when the ELCA national assembly passed resolutions in support of people in committed same-sex relationships and opened a path for them to take a place on the roster of ordained clergy, I was at my 40-year high school reunion.
My high school was Augustana Academy, a private Lutheran school that chose to embrace inclusivity decades ahead of its time. We had no TVs at our reunion, but were eagerly checking our BlackBerrys in anticipation of the vote.
I was not anticipating the reaction my own congregation of 28 years would have to the vote.
The next month, my church held a forum for members of the congregation to discuss their personal beliefs about the resolutions that passed. I spoke up about my positive experiences with GLBT clergy, my feeling that it is time to offer support and understanding to all GLBT members and their families, and the need to welcome diversity in the church. I was saddened by comments made at that forum that did not reflect any understanding or compassion for GLBT issues.
Two weeks later, at the beginning of a worship service, the president of our Church Council announced that our congregation was withholding funds from the ELCA while this issue was studied. The pastor then preached a sermon about our new mission to reach out to the world. I was so upset about the contrast between these two messages that, in the front row of the choir, I started crying and could not stop. I walked out during the sermon and did not return to my church for two months.
During those two months, I attended a different Lutheran church and tried to learn all I could to support what I felt in my heart. I read several books on sexual orientation and the church, attended an interfaith dialogue presenting differing viewpoints, and talked with many who shared or disagreed with my thinking. I also received a card asking me to return to my church and stand with those who remained. Some people said that they were scared to speak up in that church environment.
Eventually, I realized I needed to return. I began worshiping at my church again and attended the Church Council meetings for the next six months.
In November, my church decided to resume financial support of the ELCA, but to allow individuals to indicate that they did not want any of their money to go to the national church. The letter sent to the congregation said that the leadership team did not support the resolution that allowed GLBT people in long term monogamous relationships to be added to the clergy roster for our body of faith. I was disheartened by this. No formal survey or vote had been taken. I did not feel that our congregation was ready to call gay or lesbian clergy, but I was saddened that the majority of the leadership staff thought other congregations should not be allowed to do so. I never felt that my beliefs were acknowledged or supported in any positive way at the Church Council meetings.
Some members told me they'd like to see some educational events organized around the issue, so I pulled together some materials already developed by Lutherans Concerned. Initially the program was approved for a small group, but then I was denied the right to hold meetings on site because I was not presenting "both sides of the story." I argued that one could review the commonly associated Bible verses and discuss the different ways they are interpreted, but it did not seem very Christian to be anything but supportive of GLBT individuals.
In the end, I was told in an e-mail from one of the pastors: "We request that you would please respect the position and the process that has been put into place by Pastoral Leadership and Church Council" -- meaning that I was to end any thoughts I had of providing education in support of the changes in the ELCA. All I really wanted in that process was for the Church Council and the pastors to allow room in our congregation to say that the ELCA respected a wide range of beliefs, and to create an environment that fostered respect for diversity of beliefs with opportunity for understanding and discussion.
During this time, I felt a responsibility to continue to advocate for these changes at my church, but I recognized changes in my own spiritual life that meant it was time to find a new church home. I found myself checking the website to see who was preaching on a given Sunday. I became frustrated with divisiveness, and wanted community. I also started to realize that I could no longer respect a diversity of beliefs on this issue, so my desire to see support for a diversity of beliefs would no longer work for me either.
I needed to move forward, in an environment that supported my Christian beliefs. I wanted a spiritual home where the leadership staff openly supported the changes in the ELCA, and I found not one, but two. I am joining one of them as a full member, and the other as an associate member.
It was hard to leave behind a Christian community that had been so important to me, but in the process I have made many new Christian friends. I also connected with some who had also transferred from other churches for the same reason, and understood. Finally, I felt understood.
Next month I will attend the ELCA Rite of Reception for three women who have been wonderful mentors to me at different chapters of my life. One was a resident assistant in a dorm, one a work colleague, and one a pastor. I will celebrate this milestone in the life of the church, knowing that it will bring closure to a difficult year, and be the beginning of new opportunities for my Christian growth and understanding.
I wish this transition had been easier for the ELCA, but the difficulties of my journey, which pale in comparison to the journeys of those more personally affected, have enriched my life.
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Alice Reuter, Woodbury, is a hospice nurse and the married mother of two adult daughters. She is a source in MPR's Public Insight Network.
Comments (10)
As would it be, my experience is the complete flip flop. A small group of us in the congregation proposed a resolution that we state adherence to the previous ELCA standards. We did not propose leaving the ELCA or withholding money. The Pastor threw the book (bible) at us and asked what else do we believe in it about women, slavery, etc. I can only describe her behavior as total intolerence for traditional views and bible bashing. I was literally stopped from speaking at the annual meeting. We were called haters etc etc and advised to accept the ELCA decisions or get out. The unfortunate lesson is that the ELCA created these polarizations. After 5 generations in our congregation, we now attend a Missouri Synod church. Perhaps it is all for the best that we realign according to our beliefs but before last August we coexisted well despite our differences.
My experience was much like Mr. Ed James. When studying sexuality issues, the pastor indicated that we would not consider the "traditionalist" view as "we already all know it."
Ms. Reuter's congregation was absolutely correct in asking for both sides of the issue. Ms. Reuter's comment that "it did not seem very Christian to be anything but supportive of GLBT individuals " reflects a misinformed view. The pre August 2009 ELCA was supportive and welcoming of GLBT individuals. My little Minneapolis ELCA congregation had many GLBT members tracing back to 1983 when we joined that parish. For the zealots though, that was not enough and they pushed through the 2009 changes.
Ms. Reuter says and I agree that "All I really wanted in that process was for the Church Council and the pastors to allow room in our congregation to say that the ELCA respected a wide range of beliefs, and to create an environment that fostered respect for diversity of beliefs with opportunity for understanding and discussion. " There was no respect by leaders in my congregation for a traditionalist view. The ELCA is rapidly shutting down any mention of traditionalist views. Synods trying to bring up their opposition to the August 2009 decisions are not being allowed to do so.
This is another reason why I'm happy as an atheist. People interpreting "god's laws" will always be flawed in either direction, be it for or against this decision. btw-I grew up in the ELCA church, married into a catholic family and am not allowed to discuss my take on the world because I do not believe in god.
I too am in a church that is openingly pushing for this issue to be made policy at our church. I have fought this fight for a couple of years now and I thought things would really move us to a deeper understanding on biblical knowledge on this issue. There is not one single argument to have anyone of a reasonable mind conclude that homosexuality is ordained or sanctified by God. There are plenty of arguments against but they are all washed away in rhetoric and predictable responses of the liberals of the church. Since the vote, (being the outspoken person I am,) I have been asked not to contact members regarding this, asked to refrain from talking of this to fellow coworkers, written up for not carrying out the mission of the church as presented with the GLBT issues and finally asked for my resignation as I am not promoting the church in a fashion that the leadership would like me to. And to top it off, some of the pastoral leadership has said that if we do not go forward with this policy, they would resign. 90,000 people have already left since last year and many more are voting on leaving... where are the GLBT congregants and supporters that will fill that void? As far as I can tell, the void will only get bigger. My obsvervation is that they weren't rushing to a church before this, and they certainly don't appear to be rushing there now. Heaven help us all if we allow a social issue to change scripture.
We all, at one time or another, declare God to be unfair and play the part of the victim for some perceived injustice in our lives. But insisting that the Church acquiesce to our sense of victimhood rather than acknowledge that God's ways might not be our ways is the height of arrogance and idolatry. Simply put, we follow a God of our own making!
Appreciate all of the comments. I see how the ELCA has left the truth of scripture in so many ways. The vote in Aug. 2009 was one. Promoting universal salvation, abortion, replacing the Good News with social justice and inclusiveness and much more. If you want to know more, see http://www.exposingtheelca.com
Alice,
I am grateful to you for writing this article about your experiences! Even more I appreciate your strength of character and your compassion toward people whose experience we may not share, but can try to understand.
As a youth, attending Holden Village, I remember Gay and Lesbian Awareness week. As a regular attendee of forums and socializer with a variety of campers, I happened to befriend a fabulous lesbian couple, both ordained pastors, who were no longer able to serve. I am so happy that these women may now do so.
I have a lesbian friend who will always be an inspiration to me. She came out when she was still in high school. Her father is an Assembly of God minister in eastern Montana. He was cruel to her. He wouldn't talk to her for many months. She withstood and somehow understood that he was doing the best with what he had and was able to find compassion for him. To this day she doesn't turn her back on her family, she goes and visits because she loves him and lives to be a witness to him in this way. She is amazing.
You, also, amaze me. You had been a longtime member of your former congregation and, after attempting to inspire some change, had the courage to move on when that congregation was no longer spiritually nourishing you. Good for you!
Thank you for writing this! Thankfully the congregation I attend has not been divided by this issue - certainly some do not agree with the decision while others welcome it, but we are all able to worship, study, and serve God and others while holding different opinions on this and other political and social hot button issues. It is truly sad to see how hateful and vindictive some in the church have become. Several congregations in our synod have left the ELCA and this year we were able to have a synod assembly that was mission-focused and celebrated individuals and organizations doing wonderful ministries that are changing lives all over the world, instead of arguing yet again about homosexuality.
I wonder when MPR is going to do a story on the ELCA members that feel disenfranchised by the national church's change of position on this issue.
Noticeably lacking in this article is any substantive discussion of scripture.
Are there plans by MPR to responsibly report the traditional point of view held by most members of the ELCA? It would also be good to include a report on the developing North American Lutheran Church being born August 26 & 27.
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