Commentary
Lutherans should rejoice over policy change toward gays
By Randi Reitan
We brought our youngest child, Jacob, to the baptismal font at Messiah Lutheran Church on March 14, 1982, a day of great joy for our family. So many guests were coming that we considered asking for a private baptism.
Our pastor told us it was important to perform the rite during the church service, as it was a time when the church welcomed our son into its midst as a fellow member and a child of God. On that day, Jacob became a member of the ELCA. He was welcomed fully and with love.
We were active members of our congregation. Both Philip and I had been raised in Lutheran homes centered on the church. We wanted to start our marriage with a year of service, so we worked for a year as teachers at mission schools in Thailand.
As we settled into family life, Philip and I served on a number of church boards and taught confirmation and Sunday school. Our four children participated in all the programs of the church. It is where we found our family friends and spent much of our time.
We never felt the pain of discrimination until Jacob came out to us at age 16. It was the first time we really knew about the ELCA's stance toward gays and lesbians.
We knew we had to work to bring a new understanding to the church. We spoke out on our own, and in 2001 joined others in the struggle at the ELCA National Churchwide Assembly in Indianapolis. Philip, Jacob and I went together as a family to share our story along with others who were affected by the policy. We were deeply touched by many heartbreaking stories that week.
We had moved from Mankato to Eden Prairie after Jacob came out, and we joined Central Lutheran Church in Minneapolis. We worked with a group at Central hoping to see it become a Reconciling in Christ congregation. We helped put on monthly "Lunch and Learn" sessions, bringing in gay couples to share their stories.
We also joined the work of Lutherans Concerned at the national ELCA assemblies, sharing our story with as many delegates as possible, standing vigil at all the sessions in the convention hall and attending the worship services.
I wrote dozens of letters to pastors and bishops. We drove to Chicago to visit Presiding Bishop Mark Hanson. We tried in every way to communicate how damaging church policy was for families like ours.
We were asked to be a part of a documentary, "For the Bible Tells Me so," which told the stories of five Christian families who had a gay child. We were "the Lutheran family" in the film. It gave us another way to educate and bring the truth to light.
Throughout the years, we kept hoping the ELCA would change its policy. We knew how important it was to work within the ELCA to see the day the policy would be lifted. But we also felt pain as we listened to the other side of the debate. It was crushing for me to hear that many in the ELCA felt our son was sick and sinful.
Our last assembly as a family was in Orlando in 2005. As the church once again left its policy in place, we decided we needed to leave the ELCA. We were weary of the debate. We needed to hear the good news that God loves us all exactly as we were created. We needed to surround ourselves with people who rejoiced in that truth.
We found many welcoming churches that embraced us as we worshiped in different denominations. But my mother was suffering from Alzheimer's at the time, and we had to move her from her small town to be near us and her other children. Philip and I took her to church many Sundays, and always on those Sundays we attended a Lutheran church.
Many precious things had slipped away from her thoughts, but she remembered every word of the liturgy. She did not need a hymnal. The church was engrained in her, a part of her.
It was on such a Sunday that I realized just how much I missed the Lutheran church. It is engrained in me too. It is a link to my past. It is a link to my own dear family. And on that Sunday morning, it was a link to my mom as she was slipping from me.
Even though we were no longer members, we continued to work for a new understanding in the ELCA. When the vote was taken in August and the old policy overturned, we rejoiced and attended the service of celebration. It was a most joyous and profound service, held at Central Lutheran, my old congregation. I felt I was home.
We waited to hear from the leadership of the ELCA that this was a good step, an end to a terrible discrimination. We waited to hear that the presiding bishop rejoiced that the church had reached a place of understanding and truth about God's gay children. I felt that in its effort to hold the church together, the ELCA leadership wanted to embrace two different truths.
We know that Jacob is a child of God. He is loved and affirmed by God as a gay man. He should be welcomed fully into the life of the church. When he finds the love of his life, their union should be affirmed and celebrated. The ELCA is not living in that truth until it truly lives out its vote with a long-awaited, joyous welcome to all in the gay community.
Jacob should once again be welcomed fully with great love and joy, just as he was on that baptismal day in 1982. I pray that day comes soon.
Randi Reitan is a mom and gay rights activist.
Comments (26)
Seems to me your son will know for sure what Jesus thinks after he dies.
Randi - You son is loved and accepted by many of us in the ELCA - Somehow we need to help others share this love - We miss so much when we don't include some of God's children!!
I too wish this decision would have been more joyous for those of us who wanted it.
Randi and family- I have seen "For the Bible Tells Me So" and I have to thank you for your ministry to all of us. I, too, await the day when the ELCA will live out the vote in every way.
Praying for all of us (especially those who feel the need to be hurtful) with the love of Christ!
Homosexuality is, and will remain a divisive issue in the church for many years. The recent vote was a step in direction of acceptance. It is celebrated by those who agree and is mourned by those who disagree.
It is unfortunate that so much attention is paid to this issue when we have so much to do. We are called to serve others. There are people suffering starvation, oppression, or worse. Spending our time and talents dividing ourselves is a misuse of our gifts. This is true for those on either side of this issue.
Go in peace. Serve the lord.
Randi - I continue to join you in the prayer that Jacob, and all of God's children, be welcomed fully and with the joy of which you so eloquently speak. Tears are streaming down my face right now at the memories of Grandma and her unfailing, never ending and wholehearted love - not only of her biological family but her family in Christ. You've impacted the hearts, minds and lives of so many with your words and actions. Along with you, I await the day when the ELCA fully recognizes ALL of its members and welcomes us collectively with open arms. Thank you for all that you've done, and continue to do.
Ms.Reitan:
I have followed yours and Jacob's equality work, Soulforce, etc. You are brave and wondeerful! I am a gay ELCA Pastor who was accepted and called by an ELCA congregation in Arkansas. Of course I was asked to agree to the celebacy stance. As it stands now, I believe my congregation would affirm me if I were to be joined in a union. There is hope! And yes, let us celebrate the boundless grace of God through Jesus. He is the Living Word, the Word by which we live and love, the living Word who graces us all.
Pr. Jerry H.
You're right, Randi--the resounding quiet that is the ELCA's official response to the policy change is hurtful. I can only believe that the changes will continue, as they have--never quickly enough, but steady and real. There will be joy in the morning.
I apprecaite my mother taking the time to write about the importance of celebrating justice rather than quietly accepting it. The gay community has for many years been rejected by the ELCA ... now that they doors are opened even wider we must celebrate the change and we must acknowledge the suffering the prior policy created.
I think eventually the ELCA will embrace the change, however I also believe it will be a very different looking ELCA after many congregations leave. The huge loss of funding has already taken it's toll
Randi, you are obviously happy with the CWA decision - good for you! However, to instruct other Lutherans (such as myself) to rejoice in this policy change is arrogant at best and offensive at worst. Unless your ultimate goal is the eventual demise of the ELCA - which is rapidly occurring - there really is nothing to rejoice about. Regardless, peace to you and your family.
The ELCA has taken a step -they will take another and another. As a teacher, I see students who are progressively more open and caring and embracing equality and fairness when dealing with gender, race or GLBT rights. thanks to the people who have tirelessly worked for human rights and understanding in the church and in our society -like the Reitans and countless other brave and determined advocates who will not accept less than total equality.
Noticeably lacking in the opinion piece and the commentary that follows is any reference to scripture. Scripture specifically references homosexuality and describes it as a sin - without exception. E.g. 1 Corinthians 6: 9-10.
If you believe the Bible is the inspired word of God, the change in ELCA policy is a bitter pill to swallow. It's like telling a Lutheran that even though the Bible says stealing is bad, it really is OK to do it.
Grace to you and peace.
Joe, I couldn't agree more with you about the lack of scripture in the editorial/comments. In my case, I've practically given up quoting the overwhelming case against same-sex sexual relations in scripture on these types of sites since doing so is pretty much a sure fire way to be censored - YES CENSORED! I find it completely ironic - and yes, somewhat amusing - to be censored by all of these liberal types that are anything but liberal. Rather than being liberal, they are frankly academic/religious fascist types that are no better than the right-wing, bible thumpers they love to denigrate. So, to you that applaud the CWA decision, please, please, preach the love and tolerance to us small minded bigots and morons that cling unnecessarily to the hate-filled rhetoric that is scripture. Ha, Ha, Ha!
The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose. An evil soul producing holy witness Is like a villain with a smiling cheek.
[1596 Shakespeare Merchant of Venice i. iii. 93]
But speaking with love for all, ah, that takes a little more effort, eh?
I admire Ms. Reitan's unfailing love for her son and her quest for equality for all.
"For the Bible Told Me So", has a message more profound than some are apparently able to grasp.My hope is that they have yet to make or take the opportunity to view it and be moved by it.
I, too, have been very disappointed by the lack of joy- filled celebration that my church, the ELCA, has expressed following the historic CWA vote.
I thank you, Randi, for your continued gracious kindness toward all.
I am reminded of the verse from Micah 6:8 ...And what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and walk humbly with your God?
Praise God for the decision welcoming your son and others! There are many of us celebrating in the ELCA, but you are right--we have been celebrating too quietly. In an effort to spare the feelings of those who feel something was lost we forgot to affirm just what was gained. Thank you for reminding all of us that this decision is one to celebrate loudly.
I, too, rejoiced with the vote in August, but was terribly disappointed with my church's response. But an energy is growing of those who recognize the past injustices and realize they have to speak out. Once I committed myself to educating my congregation, I have been touched daily by people who support change. It will not happen overnight, but with the help of the generation currently in high school to young adulthood, we will reach a better place as a church in welcoming all believers, as members and as clergy. Thank you, Randi, for continuing to speak out.
It is most unfortunate that our seminaries haven't taught the Word of God when it comes to sex and sexuality. The early church fathers taught that sex was a sin only redeemable by the birth of a child, preferably a male child. How quickly the church had succumbed to this false teaching. When God created the world sex was something good. The church of the 2nd century tried to change that. Then the Church Father Origen, (@180 AD) who also said that sex was sinful, said most clearly that the sin of Sodom was inhospitality. The Major and Minor Prophets also taught that inhospitality was the sin of Sodom. This sin is still practiced today.
I admire the Reitan family for their faithfulness to the Gospel of Jesus Christ in spite of all the attacks on their convictions,
I am a retired pastor from the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod. I learned back in the 1950s that homosexuality was not a sin by studying the Hebrew, Greek and Authorized King James Version of the Bible. Had homosexuality been a sin in Jesus' time I'm sure he would have said so. Instead we hear him condemning the inhospitality that we still receive today for following Scriptures.
If those who do not want to follow Scriptures leave the ELCA, the ELCA will be better for it.
Now is the time to follow the Scriptures, "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say Rejoice.
When you take the Scriptures out of context, we read, "There is no God" (Psalm 14:1)
I feel for those who cannot open their heart and feel the love of God. Without love religion becomes a cold and heartless thing.
As St. Paul says in Philippians, "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, Rejoice."
I have to wonder if those who quoted 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (as well as the other verses) bothered to read the study that the ELCA produced on these passages before the vote. Then they would know that the Greeks words in that passage are unclear and have been translated numerous ways over the centuries. For most of Christian history that passage was used to condemn masturbation. Martin Luther himself translated the two unclear words "malakoi" and "arsenoikotai" as "weak" and "child molesters" respectively. It's sad that the level of Biblical education in the church has sunk to such a level that people seem to think it was written in English for Americans. The NT was written in a Greco-Roman culture where man-boy tutelage and paedophillia were the norm. Then the boys grew up, married and had a male boy themselves on the side. It's an apples to oranges comparison.
See the documentary "For the Bible Tells Me So." Bring an open heart and open mind to hear its powerful witness. Meeting the Reitan family is a blessing and an inspiration.
Having been a member of the same church where Randi Reitan's son was baptized and being an out Lesbian I am thrilled by the vote in August. I am also someone who wants t0 dialogue with those who's opinion differs from mine. I have found it difficult to have a dialogue. I am usually confronted with speeches on why I am wrong.
I admire the Reitans and the stand they have taken. I am a 7th generation member of the Lutheran(ELCA) church, who took a 23 year abscense from membership in the Lutheran Church, because of the discriminatory beliefs. I have currently returned to membership. The Reitans have been an important part of my own journey.
Since Marting Luther has been mentioned in this discussion, here is what he has to say about homosexuality. . . "the heinous conduct of the people of Sodom as extraordinary, inasmuch as they departed from the natural passion and longing of the male for the female, which is implanted into nature by God, and desired what is altogether contrary to nature. Whence comes this perversity? Undoubtedly from Satan, who after people have once turned away from the fear of God, so powerfully suppresses nature that he blots out the natural desire and stirs up a desire that is contrary to nature."
I have reviewed the CWA and associated materials many times. I have studied this issue since 1982 including an analysis of scripture based on the original Greek. There is no legitimate basis for claiming scripture endorses homosexuality.
The supporters of the church of spiritual relativism are strong. Many revert to name calling hoping to box in traditional Lutherans as bigots. That could not be further from the truth. If you want a church based on scripture the CWA is a major road block.
Grace to you and peace.
Randi Reitan is an amazing woman. We can all learn alot from her. She communicates in a respectful way, making all she has to say easy to listen to.
I have a hard time wondering why someone would want to be part of an organization that is built around a book that preaches some hateful things. encourages prejudices. All church members go along with it until it affects them personally. Then they see the ignorance behind it. Why at that time do they try to change church that has followed that book for so long? A book that breeds ignorance and prejudice.
I wish that people scorned by church and bible would recognize the book is alot of hate speech wrapped in sweet words. To me you either believe ALL in that book or you reject it. I reject any book that teaches one group is better than another. If you believe god hates gays, then go to church and celebrate that. If you dont then reject it. I would not want to give any more voice to a church that has hateful rhetoric.
I love all Randi does but think she is banging her head against the wall trying to change an organization that is built on judgements.
I don't think the ELCA decisions will have much affect on individual congregations, except as follows: The ELCA decision may eventually cost the Church money defending a congregation which rejected a pastoral candiate, for whatever reason, who happens to be in a committed, same sex relationship. Such a relationship should be a civil matter, not a Church matter. With regard to homosexual ORIENTATION, I believe it to be as natural as bipolar disorder, or myopia, etc., ie., in need of the Church and God's love as anyone. A such, it shouldn't call for recognition by the Church any more than would be justified for a person with myopia. On the other hand, homosexual BEHAVIOR probably will remain a debatable issue for some time.
I applaud the ELCA, as well as Mrs. Reitan and her family in their courage. I, myself, am in ministry and am gay. As a member of the Metropolitan Community Church, I applaud the courageous efforts of ELCA and pray for those who still cannot see past an interpretation of Scripture that they continue to embrace without looking at recent Scriptural scholarship around the words that were interpreted at homosexual, when there was not word for homosexual in the language of the authors who wrote those Scriptures.
Blessings to all
Post a comment
Please be civil, brief and relevant.
E-mail addresses are never displayed but they are required to confirm your comments. All comments are moderated. MPR reserves the right to edit any comments on this site and to read them on the air with attribution. Please read the Terms and Conditions before posting.
You must be 13 or over to submit information to Minnesota Public Radio. The information entered into this form will not be used to send unsolicited e-mail and will not be sold to a third party. For more information see Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy.
