I'd Like To Thank ...
Posted at 6:00 AM on February 1, 2010
by Dale Connelly
(35 Comments)
Radio Heartland has tickets to see Mavis Staples at the Dakota in Minneapolis this Wednesday night at 7 pm.
Enter the drawing.
Obey the rules.
Good luck!
Seeing Mavis Staples perform live (in amazing 3-D, WITHOUT the funky paper glasses) would be an inspirational way to spend a February evening, and this week she might appreciate a supportive crowd even more than usual, having lost the Grammy for Best Contemporary Blues Album to the Derek Trucks Band last night.
It surprised me to learn that Mavis Staples has never won a Grammy, though her father (Pops) got one in 1994.
Awards show season can be frustrating for artists and their fans. If your favorite singer, actor, writer, set designer or foley artist doesn't win, it's a reminder that these shows are a pointless waste of time, an exercise in snobbishness, the purest form of self congratulation and the voters are a bunch of no-taste noodle heads.
And if your favorite wins, well, this is a date that will go down in history! Justice was served. The world acknowledged greatness.
My favorite awards show thank you speech pre-dates television. I loved what Nephew Thomas said when he accepted the prize for 1938 Stunt Man of the Year, receiving his first Marconi (the "Oscar" of the radio world) thanks to his uncanny ability to make it appear he was flying through the air using only his voice and manipulating his proximity to the microphone. He said:
I have so many people to thank, I'm going to have to disappoint them equally and not mention any names at all. Sorry, everybody. Kill me if you must, but that will be hard. I'm a Radio Stunt Man after all.My only thank you tonight goes to gravity, because it has made my career possible.
It was gravity that pulled me off the side of HMS Indomitable when I played "Semaphore Operator 1", valiantly trying to signal Vice-admiral Beatty aboard HMS Lion during the riveting WW1 drama, "The Battle of Dogger Bank".
Gravity kept me from getting launched all the way into space when I played the Human Cannonball in "Carnival People!".And it is gravity holding me here right now, at a time when I am so happy, I could float right to the ceiling of this auditorium, which would be a wonderful effect to do in some future radio dramaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."
Of course at that point he did a vivid fade off mic that sounded for all the world like he was being inexplicably lifted upward - the sort of detail only a master can pull off.
If you had to give an acceptance speech right now, who would you thank?
And please, keep it brief. We have to get the commercials in.
Comments (35)
Good Morning All,
There are too many people to thank and some probabably should get a "no thanks.
I can't pick out some thing like gravity to thank, like Nephew Thomas, so I will just pick one person, my Jr. High science teacher, Mr. Owens.
my brother just got an award from his professional association - a well deserved one - and i don't know what he said but he said he got "quite verklempt."
i'd thank anyone who wants to take credit and no one who wants to avoid the blame.
I'd like to thank the Gopher Magazine delivery person, who about 30 years ago, suggested that when thinking about how important you are, imagine sticking your finger in a bucket of water and then pulling it out suddenly. A few ripples and then the water will settle back down to its original placidness. It was an epiphany to not take myself or life quite so seriously!
Because any award I would win would be insignificant (as opposed to the award shows in general--??), would be a mistake, or would be a satire:
1. Mass media in general for effectively lowering the general standards of performance and dulling the senses of the American people.
2. All the judges on all the invented TV competitions shows, for proving how poor quality is understood in our culture and proving that even if you have no talent you still get to belittle others, not the efforts of others, but others.
3. Tim Brewster, the Gopher football coach, for being an effective model of big talk and poor performance, but thinking the talk is the reality, and still getting a contract extension after a 6-7 season.
4. Minnesota legislators and governor for proving how little cooperation, compromise, and team effort--once the essence of arts, governance and life—are practiced or appreciated or understood anymore.
5. Mike Pengra.
6. Jack Elam
7. The bank industry for proving that rewards have nothing whatsoever to do with results. And to the bankers themselves for sheer nerve in the face of overwhelmingly obvious failure.
8. Alan Smithee.
9. All the little people. "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
Greetings! Good thought, Sherrilee -- and I was very serious and introspective as a young person. As a theater person, I've had many daydreams fantasizing about such a moment -- giving a thank you speech for winning an Oscar, etc. Unfortunately, I'm chagrined to admit they usually revolved around revenge against kids who teased me, called me names, etc., at awkward stages of life.
I was tall, skinny, awkward, shy and had a bad stutter -- which is like walking around with a target painted on your face. However, I think I've evolved beyond that and would now give a speech thanking the usual parents, true friends and family who believed in me and overlooked my shortcomings. And then go nyaah, nyaah, nyaah ,,,
Good morning, all! Busier than usual this Monday morning. Have a good week, everyone.
I'd probably go all Sally Field (was it Sally Field?) and gush something along the lines of, "you like me! you really really like me!" And then go on ad nauseum thanking my family, my best friends, my editor (in my fantasy, I'm getting a writing award - and a writer is nothing without a good editor), my high school English teacher, my dog...I'd be awful.
id like to thank the acadamy for recognizing goats in space as the wonderful project we all knew it would be when we embarked on this journey. the cast and little people behind the scenes are almost too numerous to mention but you all know who you are. thank you....thank you ...thank you,
Anna,
Yes, it WAS Sally Field, saying what many people actually think when they get these awards. It IS a popularity contest and most people just want to be loved and appreciated by others, so I thought her outburst was refreshing.
And you wouldn't be allowed to go on ad nauseum. That's what the band is for, playing louder the longer you talk, so be sure to thank the dog first!
Twas Sally Fields. Notice how she then pretty much disappeared, except for ads.
There was some famous actress in the 50s before TV coverage who went on for 45-50 minutes--Greer Garson??
Anna - I guess that's why they have music on those shows . ..
Clyde - all you say is so painfully true. Yet, I confess I love watching the Oscars and Tonys. One or two nights a year I indulge in dishing about celebrities' clothes, hair, how they've aged, etc., Love the gorgeous gowns, glamour, red carpet, laugh at the inside jokes of opening number (most of which I don't get) and generally wallow in fantasyland by myself for an evening. My therapy for living a very ordinary existence with few ripples.
Running late as usual...but just heard Dale asking about quilting songs...Ann Mayo Muir's "Tree of Life" with Bok & Trickett.
Thank you thank you thank you....
I liked Mark Rylance's 2008 Tony Awards acceptance speech when he recited Louis Jenkin's poem "The Back Country." I don't think there was a thank you in the poem.
I don't think I have to worry about getting any awards so why waste the mental energy thinking about who to thank. There are so many other things to think about...like world hunger.
Clyde……I beg to differ…Sally Field didn’t disappear after her Norma Rae Oscar win, she went on to do several movies some very good ones, Steel Magnolias, Forrest Gump, and is still busy today as the Mother in Brothers & Sisters. You must be thinking of someone else.
Well, since it is my birthday today, I suppose I had better thank my parents.
Thanks for the comment about Mark Rylance, Doug.
His speech is posted on You Tube, of course.
Here it is!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RENEE!
Morning all! I think I would says thanks to Sister Celine for taking so much time and using so much encouragement to coax a beautiful, almost Grammy-worthy sung Mass out of our highschool choir in 1967. At choir practice Sr Celine would say things like "OK you toads, pay attention now", yet she did it with a sense of humor - and somehow when all was said and done, we sounded great. In fact, we were given a high mass to sing - 7:30 am on Easter. Not very many people attend a 7:30 mass, but we were excited about it.
The visiting priest who was assigend to say early mass was not expecting any choir at all, so when we started singing as he approached the altar, he wheeled around, robes a'twirling, to see who was up there in the choir loft. After mass, he came up to the choir loft and met us on the stairs as were were leaving the church. He had gracious words for all of us, and congratualated Sr. Celine on her fine work with us. Not exactly a Grammy, but certainly memorable for Sr. Celine and all of us toads.
Dale, can you find the Joni Mitchell song that has the sounds of 'toads' in it - maybe the Paradise -Parking Lot one?
happy birthday, Renee! we thank your parents also.
off to a busy day of non-fun, non-goat stuff.
got 50 days to get everything that requires leaving the farm done. kids due March 23 and 24!
happy February, All!
Thank you, Barb and Sherrilee.
Yes indeed, Happy Birthday, Renee! May you enjoy many, many more.
Wow, Doug - what a great poem by Mark Jenkins, and how insightful and clever of Mark Rylance to see how it fits in with the acceptance of an award.
Thanks, also, Dale for the link to the video on You Tube. Trial Balloon rocks!
Happy Birthday, Renee. Also my future daughter-in-law's BD today. My facebook has been taken over lately by people from Bismarck and westward in ND.
You are right, Kate. I should not say she diasppeared when she disappeared from what I watch. Did see Steel Magnolias-great movie.Very few movies I think have portrayed women's relationships very well as that one did. Walked out of Forest Gump. Have no idea what Brothers and Sisters is. I watch so little TV drama. I periodically have to be reminded that there is a whole world of acting that I know nothing about.
One of my dreams is the have a place to use Frodo's line from his birthday speech I quoted above. First I would have to memorize it, which is difficult to do.
Hippy peppy bufufda bufufdi, as Owl would write it to you Renee.
And Clyde, that was Bilbo.
Yep. Biblo.
I'm in bad fibrrofog today, Mix up everything when I am.
Need to learn to be quiet when I am.
Good day, all.
Thank you, Fussy. Your moniker reminds me of a name I have for my husband, who I sometimes refer to as "Old fuss and feathers", which I guess was a nickname for General Winfield Scott of Mexican War fame.
Happy Birthday, Renee! Boy, do I get sidetracked when I'm on TB. For those of you who need to know, the Oscars are Sun, 3/7 on ABC and the Tonys are June 13 on CBS. Anybody for an Oscar watching party?
I just spent the last hour looking at the 2009 Tony Awards performances. Gosh, I love the exuberance, skill and razzle-dazzle of a good Broadway musical number! That's Entertainment ...
Thank you, Joanne, Clyde, and Teri.
Teri,
I feel compelled to make a minor correction in your comment about the Rylance acceptance speech. The poet is Louis Jenkiins of Duluth, MN, not Mark. Louis has a bunch of insightful poems.
Louis Jenkins is the best!!!! Thank you for mentioning him...my favorites are still among his early ones...walking through walls, the messenger, the postman...every once in a while he shows up on Writer's Almanac and Prairie Home.
Thank you thank you thank you.
Oscar Party.....I'm there!
When do they announce the nominees?
Sometime in the next week or so right?
I LOVE the Oscars....even though I don't get out to see very many movies anymore...still gotta watch.
I do plan on going to see Crazy Heart this weekend.
Kate - the nominees are announced tomorrow. I just looked up all that info this morning after I clicked on the link Dale provided to see Mark Rylance's speech. And an hour went by before I knew it ...
I would have to thank my parents for letting me make my own (big) mistakes; Mrs. Latch (6th grade teacher) for helping out a new kid in town and for reading The Secret Garden in brogue; Sister Bernice Clifford (Principal) for letting me do previously untried things in my kdgn. class... (you see what you unleash, Dale?)
Joanne - I too love the gowns, etc., which is why I used to watch - Tonys are my favorite, but no TV at present.
fussy for facts: Actually, it was "HIPY PAPY BTHUTHDTH THUTHDA BTHUTHDY" - now I ask you, why do we remember things like this?? H P B T B, Rene.
Clyde, please don't ever be quiet on days when you're "fuzzy.' You're fun to read no matter what.
Thank you, Barbara.
@Doug - Oooops! Thanks for the correction.
The irony faerie strikes again! As the discussion topic is thanking people, I bought a "drinking/dipping bird" at Ax-Man this weekend and just set him up on my desk this morning. He is perpetually bowing to me in gratitude even as we speak.
Y'know, that's an idea. if I were given an award, I may bring up one of these fun little buggers and a glass of water to the podium and explain that I am so grateful to so many people that I would like the drinking bird to keep bowing for me in thankfulness long after I leave the podium. I wouldn't know how else to thank so many people.
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