Our Friend Friction
Posted at 6:08 AM on January 22, 2010
by Dale Connelly
(39 Comments)
The following Public Awareness Alert has been issued by Bathtub Safety Officer Rafferty. It is presented here as a service to the community.
Attention Civilians!Predicted weather conditions in the region will create a situation where we face a reduced amount of essential friction in key areas.
Those areas include, but are not limited to, roadways, sidewalks, stairways, inclines (both ascending and descending), mountaintops, valleys and even extremely flat places.
Be aware that reduced essential friction in these areas could cause gravity and momentum to take complete control over your person and/or your vehicle, exerting their will without regard for the placement of trees, buildings, barriers and other out-of-control vehicles and individuals.
BEFORE YOU VENTURE OUTSIDE, assess the level of available friction in the environment!
If you see ...
- a glazed icy sheen on paved surfaces that would typically go underfoot
- people lying on their backs in places where people should not be lying on their backs
- smoking vehicles with their wheel sides up
... these are clear signs of an EXTREME FRICTION DEFICIENCY! DO NOT ASSUME that there will be enough friction for you to complete your appointed rounds.
In the expectation that these conditions will become reality, I am declaring an INCLEMENT CONDITIONS EMERGENCY, and pre-authorizing a regional LOSS OF APPROPRIATE FRICTION weekend!
This declaration exempts everyone from any penalty for missing an appointment of any kind! I suggest you reschedule your planned activities for a time after the I.C.E. has expired and the L.O.A.F. weekend has ended.
Issued this 22nd day of January, 2010, 6am CST by Bathtub Safety Officer Rafferty.
Any bad weather travel stories?
Comments (39)
Ha ha ha! I may have to print this warning out to show my boss.
Dale -- have you ever read any Jasper Fforde? I think you would REALLY enjoy his work. I'd start with The Eyre Affair.
Happy Friday Heartlanders!
I second Sherrilee's recommendation of Jasper Fforde.
I do remember being part of the parking lot that was I-80 in 1983 as my brother and I were trying to get from Iowa City to Sioux City for Thanksgiving.
A couple of semis had jack-knifed and all westbound traffic was stopped for I think a couple of hours. People got out of their cars and chatted.
No cell phones back then-how did we all survive?
Clyde-got The Little Ice Age early from the library yesterday. Should be perfect reading for this weekend!
Good Morning All,
I got stuck just last week when I got too close to the ditch trying to turn around on a back road. I was in walking distance of the TNT body shop near Hartland, MN and got help. The guy from the body shop would not take any payment and said I should just tell people about his body shop if they need any car repairs.
Any one who listens to Radio Heartland should consider gtoing to the TNT shop in Hartland for car repairs.
OK, I've been up an hour and I've heard the ratty forecast how many times now?? Stop, please stop!
About 20 years ago, I left the Twin Cities at about 4 a.m. for the long, one-day drive to St. Louis for Thanksgiving. Dogs in tow, of course. As we were heading out 94, the icy rain started coming down. I just kept going, very slowly, being very glad I had left so early and there wasn't much traffic. A few hours later, I think I was in Janesville, I stopped to get more coffee and to let the dogs stretch. When I tried to open my door, I realized that except for the windshield, the car was pretty well encased in ice. I shoved really hard and the door opened, the ice breaking. And it was like a domino effect...the ice all over the car shattered and fell to the ground. It was the strangest experience, although it didn't impress the dogs!
Senior year of college I was home for holidays, but unwisely decided to drive an hour through a storm to Des Moines for a New Years Party. Five miles from home I slid right across the sheet of ice that was the highway, into a shallow ditch. Some kind soul helped me out, but I kept going (more slowly) and eventually arrived safely at said party. At least I had the sense to stay overnight there. Ah, youth...
Last month we finally got down to central Iowa on December 28 and found a couple DOZEN cars/trucks still in the ditches south of Clear Lake... apparently left from the Christmas Eve storm, and the Hwy. Dept. just hadn't been able to get everyone out yet. YIKES! Traffic was at a crawl since the winds were still whipping snow across the highway, creating slick spots.
Greetings! About 20 years ago, when our oldest was a baby, we drove from Green Bay to Prescott, WI for Christmas, making sure to catch both families on same day. We ended up in a blinding blizzard on back roads in Wisconsin. Jim is an excellent driver and can handle anything, but even he was a little white-knuckled.
I was in a silent panic, trying to keep a good face but terrified inside, because we could barely see the road. Never again -- it was awful. I think we should lobby to move Christmas to late spring or early summer in Northern Hemisphere. Just too much weather happening ...
I will add my voice to the appreciators of Jasper Fforde. He's fabulous!
As for EFD events and driving - I once hit a spot at the bottom of a freeway on ramp with EFD at 7 am...wound up on the shoulder facing the oncoming traffic. Yikes! Then got stuck trying to turn around...not good.
Have a great LOAF weekend all!
BSO Rafferty - you may want to tell people about YakTrax, I found mine at the Robbinsdale Ace Hdwe.
Haven't slipped on packed snow or ice since I put tthem on my boots. Mine were about $20, the ones that have a strap are high $20s... I can walk outside again!
http://www.yaktrax.com/
the weather is affecting our satellite reception today.
the commute to the barn this morning wasn't bad. after milking, as i lounged on the bales letting the Girls run around, play and stretch their legs, the sounds were almost perfect. the sleet hitting the tin roof of the barn merged with the munching sounds of the goats happily stealing hay from the stacked bales. almost perfect because the radio was playing MPR classical - but no HD out here so no RH.
happy LOAF weekend and do stay safe in your travels!
I once woke up to an ice storm that was bad enough that busses weren't running. It was, however, early enough in my employment history that I felt compelled to make it to work. My ancient Honda Civic hatchback, however, was outside and covered in ice. Evenutally, with the help of a hair dryer run from our second floor apartment with a very long extension cord, managed to get one of the doors open, cleared enough of a space on the windshield that I could sorta see, and drove away. When I got to work, I found that the locks had again frozen, only with me inside, and no amount of pushing would get them open. (And no one had a hair dryer and extension cord, either.) I decided I could get the best leverage on the hatchback, and so crawled into the back and pushed and pushed and banged and shoved until it eventually opened. I gathered what dignity I could muster and emerged from the hatch to the amusement of those co-workers who stayed to watch the show.
There is a weather travel story happening right now. I am too nervous about the icy sidewalks to walk my dogs, so I am posting on RH, instead. I don't think that Officer Rafferty's warning means much to my pooches who are lying on the couch staring at me and sighing.
Thanks all, for your good wishes last week for my upcoming nuptials in Iowa. It looks like it will be the 3rd weekend in March. Also, if you are interested in my chorus' concert, it's next weekend, the 30th and 31st at the Hopkins High School Auditorium. Go to ovmc.org for the details. It looks like you may be able to hear about it a week from today on MPR at the morning and afternoon drive times (John Birge and Steven Staruch) as well as on Allison Young's program next Saturday. If you order tickets online, be sure to tell them Darcy sent you!
Off to my cubicle where RH is banned. *sigh*
We lived for a year in southern Indiana and after the first snowfall of about 1/2 an inch, I was surprised to hear that roads and schools were closed all around the region. We had just moved there from Winnipeg, and it was no big deal for us, but everyone else was in a panic.
i drive wat too much and have zero common sense i discover as i go to answer this question. lets see...t he one where i was going 60 down the freeway and tapped the breaks to start the spin. did 3x 360 and then continued down the freewayslowed down to 35 i think.
or.... on my way after my wedding to the inlaws for a celebration with them. we were diving alonmg on the freeway and wondering why all these p[eople were driving 15 mph. for like 10 minutes. and look at all these idiots in the ditch... and it must be recent because they are all still with the defrosters going to keep the windshield clear. put two and two together and realize we are crusing along at 65 on a skating rink. my wife was driving and i told her in a voice of reason rather than myfreaked out voice but she locked the brakes rather than tapping them and started the fishtailing at 65. all the way right... all the way left... all the way right.... all the away left. ... her screaming as we skateboarded along the icecovered concrete rink. we ended it by sliding into the median just like sliding into second base. there was the perfect slope and the perfect amopunt of snow to act as a slowing rudder that brought us to a gentle stop 100 feet into the median. i got and looked and there was a gentle ding right behind the passangers door from ice compacting at 65 ,mph. we drove back te way we had come in the median up the gentle slope onto the ice rink , drove at 4 mph for the next 5 miles to a coffee shop where we waited for the salt trucks and changed ourt underware.
then the biggy was one ice srtorm in fargo on thanksgiving eve where it was literally 1 inch of ice on the vw van (required hippy regalia) after sleeping on the couch of my favorite cousins couch in his 500 sq ft mome with a wife, 2 kids and a great dane. he went to the corner store to get coffee and had to work like the dickens to get the ice off his windshield in a hole big enough to see out. we started warming the van because he did not have room for us and we didn't want to impose. he came back 1/2 hour later and said he had been hit by a train. not hard just enough to crunch the bumper and the fender, he couldn't see it and couldn't stop but anyway here is the coffee see ya later.. we jumped in the vw and headed off down the interstate trying to get to teddy roosevelt for winter camping (we were hearty souls) the ice was still 1/2 inch thick n the outside. realy pretty...the wind was bowing in a north dakota like 30-40 froim the west and the van was a billboard in the wind. i had to aim the steering wheel at 2 oclock in order to go forward toward in the direction of 12 oclock with the wind pushing against us. . it was slow going. like 25 or 30 with the cars behind pushing you to go forward at the established pace. i had to pull over and collect my wits once or twice. white knuckle does not begin to describe it. . then we hit valley city and it warmed, the roads cleared and life was good. onward and upward to teddy roosevelt then the canadian rockies. great winter camping adventure. it is amazing kids ever make it. not me included, me in particular.
enjoy the treck this weekend
this is spooky, Dale - i was trying to sing the "Six Days" song to myself yesterday and couldn't figure out the words. i don't know why that song because i haven't thought of it for years. wow.
ESP RH - all you need to do is THINK of a song and it magically gets played. no requests necessary :-)
I just checked our weather report, and we are under a winter weather advisory for "freezing drizzle and riming". I didn't know that bad weather could make people break out into poetry!
So, Renee, what would you make of hoar frost?
Sandra-I would think pure thoughts about Hoary Redpolls and hope that I would see some at my bird feeder in a tree with rime all over the branches.
The roads are not good here in South Central MN, but I have a report that it is possible to drive from Clarks Grove to Albert Lea if you are very careful and really need to get to work.
Why can't BSO Rafferty place a large order for friction tape and restore us all to safety???? Be careful out there Heartlanders!
you all are so funny; i'm sitting here laughing out loud like a fool.
thanks
Hi all,
Sorry to join in so late, but had to switch from lurker to poster to share a funny memory. Many years ago, there was a big ice storm in the upper Midwest just before Thanksgiving. I had traveled to Madison with a friend for a fencing tournament - the Turkey Meet - for which 1st prize was a turkey. My friend won, and so we had a big turkey in a cooler on the way home. Partway back, her car broke down in the middle of nowhere. We hitched a ride to Eau Claire with a trucker, carrying our fencing gear, everything of value from the car, and the gigantic cooler with the turkey! From EC, we boarded a bus to the Cities, on which the driver kept exclaiming about the slippery roads, especially the off-ramp where we slid most of the way off the road. We did make it home eventually.
Memorable - became much funnier after the fact!
Stay safe, all.
There were not posts from Clyde yesterday and none so far today. I hope he is okay and hasn't had a problem with the new medication that he said made him fuzzy or something else.
so connie let me get this straight. 2 ladies with a cooler and swords hitching with a trucker to get to the bus station...... welcome. you will fit right in hear as a contributor rather than a lurker.
i hope clyde just realized the house guest suggestion the other day that all us blog mates are ok with just showing up when you are of the proper mind and allowed to come and go as we please. hope is just being clyde de busy rather than clyde de fryde
Present!! ('Splain in a minute.)
I spent 17 years traveling across the U.S., including Alaska. But mostly I drove around the Midwest, Upper and Lower, so I have way too many stories to tell. I will just say this: in 17 years I only had four workshops canceled for weather. Halloween storm 1991 and three times in southern Missouri when they got an inch of snow on non-frozen ground. They were upset I was going to go out and drive on the roads.
My laterst dangerous trip was the 2 block walk and back to the PO this morning.
Connie--done that drive in bad weather twice, very bad weather. And with that story if you do not keep posting, we will hunt you down and make you post.
Barb--do not be sure it's your satellite. I have not been able to hold the radio stream today.
My other bad travel--trip, that is, and thus de fryde is right--is the last three days. An explanation of why I was fired folllows—not really that interesting. You may want to skip it.
FM treatment is a new science or art or mystery. Since it is not a tissue-damage disease, pain killers seldom work. Some things in the category of anti-depressants offer some of the best, but not stellar, results. Lyrica is loosely-related to them, if you have heard of Lyrica. One of the two drugs that works somewhat for me is an early and cheaper version of Lyrica. My MD is determined, bless his heart, to find something that works on me. So he keeps trying things. In Dec. he put me on an anti-depressant that works better for pain sorts of things than depression. It is the ninth thing he has tried. And this, like all of all but two of them, was for me side-effects and not effects, especially a bad headache since 1/1. And you cannot just quit this drug, you have to wean off it. But, and here was the fun, there is a similar drug which has recently shown very good results on FM, which, like the first drug, you have to start low and then build up. But the theory is/was that since the two drugs are so similar I could just switch from drug 1 to 2 without cutting off and building up. Well, for me, that theory was wrong. So I have had two plus days of withdrawal and getting used to a new drug at once. Still loopy as this shows.
Clyde-
On this blog being a loopy bad typist just makes you fit in better...no need to hold back just watch the friction!
Thanks Beth-Ann.
And for anyone who stayed with my bad typing, I was not fired. It should say fried in the second line. Maybe a freudian typo.
Clyde, good to hear from you. Best wishes to you on dealing with the medications.
just back from getting goat feed - a 70 mile round trip (because i am picky - not because there aren't other places closer). and i was afraid the roads would get worse by monday.
i just want to say what a cool community this is - and welcome out of the closets you past-lurkers!!
Just be glad I wasn't here yesterday, which I just looked at. Language learning and teaching is a passion of mine. I would have bored you all to death.
Clyde - glad you are back in the commenting saddle (as it were). I like your rambles - typos and all...reminds me of how my grandpa was (not that you are old enough to be my grandpa - just that it does my soul good to hear that style of discourse and humor).
And Connie - good to hear from you! Pipe up more now that you are out of the lurker closet!
Hi Clyde,
Did a quick search about FM treatment - must be Effexor or Cymbalta that was tried?
Yup, Barbara in Robbinsdale, put my yaktrax on this morning so the walk to the barns would be much saner (and safer)! Chicken grit on the icy spot outside the garage...hoping my (pre-emptive) trip to the feed store tonight is not a memorable one. (How was your trip to get feed, Barb in Blackhoof?)
roads were a bit slushy in places but overall,quite good, Cynthia.
travel safely
feels so good to have enough feed to the critters. hmmm. did i stop for groceries for us??? no. :-)
well, we have milk!
Madcap hilarity at its finest!
Tim - I do believe this was your funniest post to date.
I'm still at work because the power is off in my part of town and sitting at home in the cold dark doesn't appeal to me that much unless Carlos is around. (If ya'll are getting sick of hearing about him, let me know and I'll make up someone else.)
Feel better soon, Clyde.
Mike--an online search for FM drugs should get you a long list of drugs. I went from Cymbalta to Sevella; so you found one of them.
Carlos away, Donna. What else are you going to do in a cold dark house.
Barb in Blackhoof - you have milk, cheese, and soap at the very least...
Great stories, all. Have a safe and good weekend.
Looking back to Wed. I will tell this story from 25 years ago.
Our phone rang at 1:30 in the morning and I answered. There was a pause and then a man asked in a stressed voice "Is this number ___________" and said our number.
Long pause. Then he asked, "What area code?"
I said, "218."
He said, "Thank God" and
hung up.
I'm also coming out of the lurker closet to tell you my travel tale. I've traveled the roads between central Iowa and Mpls. many, many times in BAD weather---usually over the Christmas holiday. This year we left on the Wednesday before Christmas just in time for the sleet and wind. Starting south at 6:30 p.m., it took us six hours to get to Ames Iowa, going no more than 45 mph. (usually a three hour trip). We passed over thirty cars in the ditch, and a semi-trailer jack-knifed on a bridge, but since I had just had new tires put on my car I seemed fine and continued on. Dec. 28th, on the way back north we passed fifty-five cars and trucks in the ditch, just in the seventy miles between Marshalltown, Iowa and Hampton, Iowa, including one right behind me I saw spin out of control in my rear-view mirror. YIKES! Thank god for new tires.
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