Fish & Visitors
Posted at 6:00 AM on January 19, 2010
by Dale Connelly
(29 Comments)
Radio Heartland has tickets to a concert by Bearfoot at the Cedar Cultural Center this Thursday, January 21st.
Enter the drawing.
Obey the rules.
Good Luck!
Dear Dr. Heartlander,I have been spending more time than usual cruising around the Internet. I find that I have a lot in common with the people (if, in fact, they ARE people) that I meet there. These relationships are enhanced by the fact that I can wander away from them when I have had enough and no one seems to take it personally.
I have overnight company coming today. These are living, breathing, physical guests who need food and conversation and the comforts of home such as fresh towels and soap and toilet paper, so they aren't nearly as easy to manage as my online friends. And the guest bed is in the computer room, so I will not be able to ignore these creatures in favor of the virtual friends I prefer.My guests will be here for one night only, but already I resent them. When they come to the front door I plan to greet them with hugs and a smile, but I'm concerned that it won't be enough to hide my disappointment!
Signed,
Digitally Fidgeting Gidget
Dear D.F.G.,
Was it Ben Franklin who said "Fish and visitors stink after 3 days?"
There is no question that online relationships are easier to manage than the actual ones that take place in the physical world - as long as these digital connections remain as a series of 1's and 0's. When people from the internet try to step over the actual threshold of our literal front doors, things can get complicated.
In the case of your corporeal visitors, if you like them at all, I would try to transition them to online status. Put some soup in the crock pot. Leave out some towels and washcloths. Twenty minutes before they arrive, unlock the front door, turn on the computer in their room and LEAVE. Check into a hotel with free WiFi and sent them an e-mail, explaining that you were called away but they are free to stay in the house for the night.
Everyone will have a lovely time and you'll have two new online friends. The very best kind!
My advice to D.F.G. assumes these visitors are resourceful and trustworthy and can be left alone in the house - a leap of faith, I know. Perhaps it is impractical.
What do YOU think, Dr. Heartlander?
Comments (29)
dear DFG - we have said this before on this blog: it is easier to pretend you are someone than to be an actual friend face to face. you will have to face up to this visit. during the visit, show them the TB blog and get them hooked to the music. by the time they get back home they'll be on RH from the time they get up. they will no longer want to travel except to places where they can access the blog. you will be able to visit online with them and will not have to worry about further in person visits. good luck.
dear dfg,
there are times and places for everything, your test is to know the difference between an appropriate and an inappropriate one. sometimes it is their weird stuff that screws up th e deal, sometimes it is their not being able get with the daily program at your house. if you are too weird and they are too straight or vice versa thats a problem. if they are a different kind of weird than your kind of weird or a different kind of straight than your kind of straight that is a problem.
there are those who you truly look forward to seeing but after a lillte while (sometimes 3 days is too long) they start getting into your shampoo and raising havoc in other areas of previously unexamined parts of the everyday routine to the point of distress.
a brother, a sister, a mom and dad seem like a good idea and they are family after all but really...think about it. they have been just like that forever. do you really want to hang around that for even 3 days?
when all is said and done, coffee in the morning an glass of wine at night and maybe a museum or a show is plenty, why deal with the trials that lie ahead in the prisoner in your own home scenario?
tell them about your favorite hotel and what a nice wine bar they have and ask if you can make reservations for them. it is your pleasure to do this. you will be glad to have them return the favor when you return to north dakota for your visit.
play please don't let be misunderstood for the houseguests form hell please.
Greetings! Looks like everyone is sleeping in or something. Barb, you answered this fretful soul so beautifully, I have nothing to add. She's got it all locked up.
Hmm? I know we all use aliases on here. After all, does not "barb" in its various forms indicate a prickly personality who does not sympathize well with humans. "Cynthia," is close to synthetic, a false front if there ever was one, pretending that horses and goats mix. Obviously covering up an inability to mix socially. "tim" all in lower case indicates a desire to be Tiny Tim, the fictional one from Dickens or the, eh, well, fictional one from the 60's, ever playing for our sympathy. “jim” is wishing he were a gem but knows he is not. "TGITH" is surely hiding something important or trying to making himself taller and grander than he is in person, with his silly dream of a counter-culture life. "Joanna" and “Anna” are both indecisive; they may just as well make it “jo-and. . .ah” and ann . . . ah”. And Joanna wants to but cannot be a big fish in a big lake. “Donna” must feel her life is done, all is accomplished in her pitiful life, wanting to pretend she is a Minnesotan, but can only bring herself close to that grand falsehood. I could go on. “Dale” revealing he sees himself as a low point in the landscape. Just listen to that insincere voice. “Mike” is most revealing, choosing to call himself after the piece of technology that he never gets to use. Such low self-esteem that we never see his picture on the site. “Kay” you know means an island, and a low lying small one at that.
I could go on, and maybe some other false faces on this blog will do so.
Now “Clyde,” there is a bold and manly front, to choose the name of a camel from an old song, or a name which is so often associated with those who are nerdish or outcasts, unappreciated intellectual giants. That is a person secure in his hermitage who really does not need others, even if they would have him, even then.
So we come to “Gidget.” Is it that you wish to return to 1960 movies and TV, never having to move into polite society of the complicated present? Consider the low self-esteem of one who sees herself as a mere gadget. You make the other “people” on here look balanced and adjusted. Indeed you diagnosed your own problem in your letter. I suggest you start your own convent and give up all social contact. Perhaps in Utah.
Good Morning All,
Dear DFG,
Along with the rule about fish and guests is another one - people are no good. There might be some truth in these rules, but I think a more positive additude is better. I agree with Barb's approach and have a little to add.
Instead of turning face to face friends into online friends you could do the reverse. Try following the example of Fay and Donna who are online friends on this blog and tried being face to face friends. From what we hear the face to face friendship of Donna and Fay went well and I assume the guests and fish rule didn't come into play.
Dear DFG,
You don't say what resources you have at your disposal to aid this situation, but perhaps the remedy is to run off quick, now, before the guests arrive and invest in a smart phone with a data plan so you can surf the web during dinner (with the phone tucked discreetly under the table on your lap, of course), or take a quick peek at your blogs and social networking sites while in the kitchen between courses...added bonus: you can (potentially) stream RH on a bluetooth headseat while your guests are visiting. Just tell them you are on call at work and need the phone handy in case of emergency (like monkeys in the server room or something equally off-putting).
Good luck. And go with the soup in the Crock Pot regardless.
Maybe calling them "Invasive Asian Carp" on the menu would urge the more community-minded to do their part to devour the invaders. Being on the human bill of fare certainly has worked to deplete the population of a lot of animals. How many Atlantic cod do you see walking around these days?
S & G's "I am a Rock"
nina simone does that well. thanks
you are on this morning clyde. welcome
another idea would be to get some goats. and every single time anyone - ANYONE - comes to your place you drag them out to see the goats and you tell them the goats' names and you tell them about all the kiddings, the blood, the poop, all milking details and you go on, and on, and on........
Very funny, Clyde, regarding your take on the names used by some of us. Be careful, your name could become Mud.
Invest in a wireless network, rent a bunch of Ipods or other small devices with internet access, and teach them all about RH and the blog.Once they see it, you'll all be blogging together and you won'tt be away from your cyber friends.
Very clever, Cly de Mudd. Or would Cly de Terre be better -- I can't decide. We all have our masks we wear in daily life; why not online?
I must confess I am actually Joanna de Rosanna Danna, bombshell beauty heiress and European TV star. No, wait ... a Bollywood movie star. Yes, that's it! Let the groveling begin ...
If your name got left out it was either that I find you real or I could not make anything of your name.
barb it sounds a lot like being on a blog
Just thought of this, my daughter, children and friends have Wii parties where they all bring their games to one house. We could develop a Wii game called "Fish and Company."
Clyde,
It's true, "Dale" is a low spot in the landscape, which is a necessary feature if you're going to have highlands and peaks. I've always been satisfied to be a Dale. Afer all, I could have been a Swale instead.
Renee,
If you're still interested in writing a guest blog, send me an e-mail. dale@radioheartland.org
barb. it sounds like being on a blog.
i love the fish and company idea. hand the quest a 72 hour timer that begins the second they walk in the door.
thay can play wii golf wii sports wii whatever but whe they ar done the timer has ticked off and they lost all the time they spent on wii never to be regained again. what a concept.
i would like to teach my kids that one. have a game called life where you die at the end and realize all you did was play wii and video games and now it is over. how much did you really enjoy it? maybe do something differently along the way or al least be aware of the choices huh?
Gidget/Gadget - I suppose you could put the guests in your room, you take the guest room and be where you want to be. They have a crock pot full of soup and the towels, they can manage themselves. If they're not gone in 3 days, you'll have to rethink...
Great name Joanna, and Clyde de Terre - I am actually Barbara Bardot, Bridget's younger sister.
My son in HS was in a group of friends from several schools who would meet and play games. One of their favorite games was the board game Life.
They decided to get together two years after grudation at our house to play their favirote games, starting with Life. 20 minutes into the game they realized it wasn't fun anymore because that's what their lives were like.
tim, i know i do go on :-) have i told you about Dodger's recent bout of indigestion? you'll be amazed when you hear how i cured her!
I have been at the dr. for the last hour. Were you all talking about me while I was gone? Apparently not. But two connections: 1) my dr. told me he hardly knows his nurse because they communicate by codes through the computers they carry. He says he goes days without talking to her, and it's a small clinic.. So we could all set up our homes accordingly. My daughter and her husband sometimes fabebook each otgher while they are sitting side by side. 2) I am going on a drug called Civilla. So maybe my dr is telling me something about my social skills . . .
Dale: in Yorkshire in England they have these great names for all the dales. One is called Swaledale, a nice oxymoron.
Dr. Bloat--tell us, tell us. Do you poke a hole in her like they do with cows when they get severe bloat?
Barbara Bardot: sounds like a doll with especially outlandish proportions.
Sitting here with little work, which will change grealty tomorrorw, I just thought of a way to deal with guests. A true story:
I have a cousin who bought a B & B in Napa Valley. At my mother's funeral she invited my sister and I and our families to stay with her anytime. She would be delighted to have visitors; just call ahead to make sure she was not too booked. My sister called it ahead last spring and got a warm welcome to stay. When she got there, the cousin encouraged her to stay longer, so my sister and her husband stayed two more nights. When they got home they found a bill in the mail for about $785.
Wow, Clyde in Mankato or wherever you are, you're absolutely right, that would do it! Call yourself a B & B for the weekend...
Has anyone ever played the board game called Life Stories? Like many games, you could do away with the board and just deal out the cards, which ask interesting questions about everyone's past. Played with my mom at last visit and found out she had a boyfriend when in 6th grade who brought her flowers. (Works best with people who didn't have really scary childhoods.)
Here's what I think. If your company won't leave you alone long enough to get your minimum blog fix, throw the bastards out.
I love it, Donna!!
Dale. The yurt song was garbage. Please remember there are a lot of us who depend on you to engage us with your selections. That song wasn't good, funny or anything else. It was just someone's self indulgence.
You have some responsibility to weed out the garbage. You've got my loyalty. But now you also have my two cents worth.
Mike
PS. I just missed Crispian St. Peter yesterday. Can you play it again? When it was first released I was probably reading Raise High The Roof Beam Carpenter and Seymore...An Introduction.
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