Pilgrim's Picnic
Posted at 6:00 AM on November 25, 2009
by Dale Connelly
(34 Comments)
Radio Heartland has tickets to give away to a concert this Sunday evening, November 28th, at the Cedar Cultural Center, featuring Cliff Eberhardt and Storyhill. We'll keep entries open until 1 this afternoon.
Enter the drawing.
Obey the rules.
Good luck.
I received a lengthy text message direct from the woods yesterday.
Below is a translation.
Hey there. Happy Thanksgiving!Things are sparse out here in the woods. All the berries are gone and the fresh living green stuff that was good to eat is pretty much dead.
Squirrels are fat. Everybody's fat. Ready for the winter.
So enjoy your food holiday, Thanksgiving. Just remember, all you're doing is copying us animals, because eating like crazy is Job #1 at this time of year. We really have to stuff it in if we're gonna make it to the springtime.
You can pretend you're doing the same thing, but you're probably gonna make it to springtime anyway since you get to keep on eating through December and January, even when your "fresh and local" food sources run out. You want "fresh and local"? Come shopping with ME sometime.
But anyway don't feel guilty or worry yourself too much. Your make believe version of my life-or-death struggle is no big deal to me.
If you were serious about being grateful and honoring your forebears (think about that - you come from four bears!) you'd eat your Thanksgiving dinner outside, preferably in the woods, the way WE do. That way you could really FEEL the elements and understand why it's important to bulk up for the winter. And it would get rid of that thing you do after the meal that you call "leftovers". No such thing out here. Nature takes care of that. I should know - "Nature" is my middle name.
Not that I expect anybody to do it. But if a bear needed a few bites to top off his tank, so to speak, before hibernation ... polishing off your Grandma's cranberry dressing might be just the thing that would make all the difference to somebody who only wants to have a long nap and wake up to the sound of a robin, know what I mean?
See you in the spring.
Bart.
Bart has a point. Our Thanksgiving is a pantomime of what he's been going through since September - an eating orgy to bulk up for winter.
If you could go into hibernation now and wake up (very hungry) in April, would you?
Comments (34)
Bart is pretty good with the guilt - he could be my mother!
But I'm going to leave hibernation to him. I chose Minnesota because of the weather (cold rain and ice all winter where I grew up). And I do like the holiday season alot as well.
So I'll stay awake, but I may go out and dump some leftovers in the woods after the big dinner tomorrow for Bart and his buddies!
Have a great Thanksgiving, Heartlanders!
four bears - who knew?
Dale and Bart - it's a new diet trend! the hibernation diet! eat all you want all summer, then go to sleep and wake up thin and hungry. wow.
although this is dangerously close to binge and purge - the purge being a long, long nap.
unfortunately, there is a lot of biochemistry required to shut down (and wake up again) the way Bart does.
and anyway, who would milk the goats??
good moring, All!
Good Morning, Dale and Heartlanders.
I think it would be a very good idea to hibernate like Bart. Like many people, who live in Minnesota, I often wonder what I am doing here when I have to go out into one of those very cold winter days that we experience. I wouldn't have to do that if I could hibernate.
Also, there would be a lot of energy savings on heating bills, and probably some other things. We would miss out on what is going on in the world during the winter, but I think we need a break from that any way.
Let's get Dr. Larry Kyle to work on this. I think he could come up with a food that would send us into hibernation.
Absolutely! I would hibernate in a heartbeat had I the opportunity. The winter cold and darkness make it very difficult for me to run, and I remain inactive only with great difficulty. Last night, I went out and bought all kinds of running gear to ensure that I be visible to nighttime drivers, and it won't be long before I start buying face masks and warmer running gear in general. It might just be easier to remain unconscious until spring training starts. April is definitely NOT the cruelest month. That honor belongs to November, December, or January, through any of which I'd be more than happy to sleep.
Like Sherrilee, I'm here for the weather.
I only put up with August because I know fall is coming.
At the risk of incurring the wrath of other Heartlanders, I'd love to hear something snowy ( love Hazel Miner, but please, not that-too close to having to deal with family, need something funny), as we are looking forward to it-admittedly, by March, the thrill has worn off a bit, but then the daffodils are on the way.
I love Minnesota!
Hey Barb, if the goats could take Dr. Kyle's hibernation diet pill too, would you do it?
All these are good points.
For me it comes down to this:
Hibernation negatives - I would miss Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day and the Super Bowl.
Hibernation plusses - I would miss the Senate's Health Care Debate and everything that leads up to the Super Bowl.
Same Either Way - Groggy half-conciousness on St. Patrick's Day.
Hmmm ....
You are right, Dale, there are some things I wouldn't want to miss by hibernating. All those holidays are nice and shouldn't be missed, but there is a lot of insanity associated with them that I would just as soon miss.
I am interested in following the senate debate on health care. Unfortunately, I think I know how it will come out and I don't think it will be good, so it wouldn't be too bad to miss that.
Okay, I should develop a more positive aditude and not consider going into hibernation.
I'm with Elinor. I'd like to find a dark cave about now, and re-emerge rested and warm in March. Is that too much to ask? Just put me under during "standard daylight time" and wake me up when we're saving daylight again!
I, too, love Minnesota winters and frankly, I wish this one would start! It looks like it might do that today. The prep for hibernation sounds like fun, but I prefer not to actually hibernate and miss the winter weather and the holidays.
I do feel like I have been hibernating from Radio Heartland, though. They cut off all internet radio at work. Not only that, but I can't even go to MPR or the Trial Balloon there. I miss you all very much. I guess they don't want me listening to this subversive music. Apparently, they don't want me to visit with my Heartland friends. Or maybe they want me to actually work.
Happy Thanksgiving Eve, Everyone!
Darcy
Good Morning & Happy Thanksgiving!
Hibernation might work for me but it would be in the late fall and early spring, the times of year that biking and skiing lousy. Give me snow I can ski on but you can keep this cold, dark rainy part of the year.
Barb has a good point that if we were to hibernate, it would require teaching all the animals in the family to hibernate as well and I'm thinking that would be pretty tough.
As for Bart, I just got a note from a mountain biking friend in Alaska that the bears are pretty much all asleep so it sure can't be long before Bart is nodding off.
While there may be days that hibernating seems like a good idea, I find a day inside by the fire with a book (and some nice, fatty, carb-heavy foods) gets me through to the next day when making snow men, playing fox and geese, and skating make staying awake through winter worthwhile.
I will also admit to being an "I like Christmas" person - not so much the shopping, but the sparkly lights and festive decorations (though not too many), yummy food and being with family and friends. (And speaking of family and friends, if I slept until April I'd sleep through my husband's and best friend's birthdays, as well as my mom's and a niece and nephews...that would never do.)
having thought about this while milking, i've come to the conclusion that any day i'm awake and upright is a good day out here. when i was younger and working hard (now that sounds like i'm edging in on 90!) i would have willingly slept away many winters (or, the other option - remember the Guindon cartoon with the woman in the bathtub with gallons of gin around her...?). but now, like Warren Zevon, i'll sleep when i'm dead.
just want to say, in addition, how grateful i am for Dale, Mike, RH music, this TB community, our computer, and our satellite that lets us stream, when i click on RH in the dark, early morning it's like stoking up the wood stove.
happy thanksgiving
I'm with the non-hibernators - too much interesting stuff going on during the winter! And some crystal clear nights that start early enough that I'm not too tired to enjoy the stars after dark ;-)
Darcy, too bad that your work has limited internet use so much. Mine hasn't made that decree but by making me so busy that I don't have time to listen or read the blog, they have effectively done the same. Don't they get that a jolt of RH makes us work better?!
Dale makes some interesting points, but I am still up for the long sleep.
Darcy, it's my job to be one of those evil people that takes away access to streaming from workers. :-( Imagine, the day will likely come when I will have to do the very same to myself (when I get orders). Hopefully by then, there will be a BlackBerry or Android app for RH!
We haven't waltzed with bears yet today?
Better yet, Teddy Bear's Picnic.
i think the idea of hibernating would appeal to my high school aged son. the idea of waking up skinny that is the thing to get dr kyle cooking on. have the process take 8 hours instead of all winter.could we work on having sleep condensed too? be done in 30 minutes instead of all this wasting away the night. i love winter. san diego is for weenies.
did you know -10 degrees is the perfect temperature for cross country skiing? 20 is way to warm,,, 0 is also to warm. -10 is perfect. icicles on the mustache and all
mark how long are the sunlight hours on those alaskan bears this time of year anyway? are they down to that 1 1/2 hours a day yet? thta would make me tired too i think.
happy thanksgiving all
I suppose hibernating would be one remedy for those with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).
I guess I'm with those staying for the winter. I recall an episode of Northern Exposure where they welcomed in winter by dancing in the streets at the first snowfall! (Shall we do that??) They were also beefing up on 1000 calorie meals at The Brick, etc. But Holling was also going around taking "orders" for who might need a grave dug before spring rolled around...
Greetings! While hibernation is certainly tempting, I don't think I could do it unless everybody did. I have a hard time sleeping past 7am, even on a weekend.
I feel badly for Bart, but not too much. Putting out food would be inadvisable in town -- attracting a bear (or other wildlife) could be dangerous -- or just annoying.
There's this squirrel that's way too friendly. I think my neighbor lets it climb on him. One day coming in from car, it approached me and tried to get in house. I thought, "how cute, a nice squirrel." I stopped and bent down to reach out -- and the damn thing jumped on me and climbed up. I had a shrieking fit, threw off squirrel and ran in the house. That's the end of any cute squirrels for me.
I think my wife would. She's trying to make sleeping into an olympic sport. She tells me that when she was in college (Stanford!), she attended a lecture once and was told that if you miss any of your 'normal' sleep time, your body logs that as a sleep deficit. And, according to my wife, this sleep deficit 'accumulates interest' because you're more tird through the course of the day that you've lost sleep for. So unless you make up for the sleep you've lost, plus the sleep interest you've accrued, plus get in your basic sleep for the next evening, this sleep deficit grows...and compounds more. And you thought the budget and trade deficits grew quickly? Think if this is the case. Why aren't Physicians for Bedrest making a fuss about this? They're probably sleeping in to try and reduce the national average of sleep deficit, along with bears, cats, fish, etc. Of course, this opens up the question of a 'circle of sleep' involving other species. And now my brain hurts.
Having grown up in the north woods and lived on the edge of it for much of my adult life, I have many many bear stories, I am thankful bears hibernate. Hungry bears in the winter would not be fun for skiers, loggers, or children playing in the woods.
So what happens tommorw: live show, a blog? Hope neither for Dale's sake? All have a happy, well, not tukey day, as we learned yesterday, but a day that is warm, fuflfilling, and builds your spirits.
Dale, thanks; exactlthe right version of Teddy Bear'sicnic. It was the theme song of a a Sat. morning radio kids' show in ealry 50's. Big John and Sparky.
Barb - you could hire your pal from SD to milk those goats. I'm cheap!
Darcy and Connie - I sympathize for your sadistic work environments.
I might give hibernating through the winter a try as long as I don't wake up with cub twins.
Thanks for your concern Clyde.
The plan for Thanksgiving and the day after is for me to have a vacation. I have recorded "breaks" for those shows so it will appear that I am in the studio, but with the help of JASPER and Mike Pengra, I will be at home, enjoying my Thanksgiving, just like you, I hope.
There will be a blog tomorrow, but who knows what it will be about? Suggestions?
My daughter and I were just talking about the three writer's block days for pastors--Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving. Impossible days for which to write a sermon. Everything you can say is obvious. Nobody really wants to hear anything new, nor the same old things for that matter. So I suggest a new character for you to introduce: a preacher of whatever ilk grabs you, or maybe an undefined denomination. But I do not know how you would photshop that; and you must photoshop it. Can't break your string.
I believe that Captain Billy probably never has a problem with writer's block. Perhaps he might send Dale a message about his Thanksgiving. The Captain has told us about the things for which he is thankful. I just wonder how Captain Billy and the crew moved ahead with their Thanksgiving plans, or maybe we really don't want to know about this sort of thing.
Joanne, your story about the overly-friendly squirrel reminded me of a time when I was walking down the U of M mall with my roommate, and a squirrel ran up her leg. She was wearing brown corduroys, so we think the squirrel mistook her for yet another tree. Both my roommate and the squirrel looked very shocked. I wish we’d had camera phones back then!
I love winter, so I would not like to hibernate. A two-hour nap each day would be more my thing.
In goat-related news, I just got word of a new movie: Cats Who Stare at Goats.
Since I won't probably be around much for the next 6 days, I'd like to say how thankful I am for RH. Was listening last night while doing pre-guest cleaning, I needed something from upstairs and was waiting for a song I didn't like to come on so I could leave to get it... there was NO BREAK, just song after song that I wanted to hear.
Dale -- maybe what's on your T'giving table that wouldn't be considered traditional? Tofurkey's been mentioned. Still thinking...
Hi Dale,
I am off work today and listening all morning, just wanted to echo Barbara in thanking you, Mike and Jasper for the great music. And it's very fun to hear you talking in between songs - so glad for the technology that allows for this more "robust offering" [corporate buzzword] without exhausting you!
Suggestion for tomorrow's blog - everyone's post-meal activities (football game on tv, nodding off in the easy chair, taking a brisk walk, ...)
Best wishes to all for a safe and happy Thanksgiving!
Yes, to add to Connie's suggestion about activities -- any ideas for out of town guests from California Bay Area, where they already seem to have EVERYTHING.
Speaking of squirrels... (is this off topic for today? Is anything every really 'off topic' for this list?? )
Last winter, very cold day, I'm walking across the college parking lot and a squirrel is sitting there chewing on a packet of Taco Bell 'Hot' sauce. I'M NOT MAKING THAT UP! It was so perfect; we just stood and watched each other for several seconds-- and I was too stunned to get my cell phone camera out... but it's a perfect picture in my minds eye!
Have a good Thanksgiving little squirrel!
I'm afraid that if I hibernated, I might wake up with a radio tracking collar around my neck, placed there by some well meaning naturalist or animal behaviorist. All my movements would be tacked and I'd never have any privacy again.
Renee, what would we learn about you from the tracking collar?
I think people would learn that my life is mainly somber, sedentary and routine, puncuated by flurries of activity and seasoned with the strange and hilarious. Golly, that sounds like Bart's life in the woods,doesn't it?
Renee: "Punctuated Equilibrium," as the naturalist would. say. Thank God for the punctuated parts as much as the equilibirium parts.
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