It All Counts
Posted at 5:20 AM on September 30, 2009
by Dale Connelly
(24 Comments)
Here's the latest press release from the office of Congressman Loomis Beechly, representing Minnesota's 9th district (all the water surface area of the state),
My dear constituents,It's the last day of September and the transition of our district is underway.
Once again we are going from being a fun-filled recreational destination full of boaters and waterskiers and anglers cavorting with their families across the sun-kissed waves of paradise, to being a frozen windy wasteland that is virtually empty except for a few thousand anti-social weekend cavemen, shut inside plywood cages, smoking and staring at the ice.
If you have been with us for the past few months, living on a boat or spending way too much time out on a dock that you are about to pull ashore, thank you for being part of this unique backwater of democracy in action. Before you leave, be sure to mark your calendar for an early return. We need to have you back in residence no later than April 1, 2010. That's the beginning of the next census and in order to remain a viable congressional district, we need to post BIG population numbers across the entire biological spectrum.
Yes, I do see myself as representing all the living things in the bounteous 9th, where fish outnumber the people. I am pushing for the census bureau to count every single resident: the ones with fingers, the ones with fins, the air breathers, the mud dwellers, the chlorophyll classes and even the invasive species.
Yes, it is an uphill battle, but water, as you know, is a great leveler.
Here's how you can help: Plan now to come back early. And when you do, report your status and information accurately. Don't do anything to raise questions about the count! Last time there were far too many 9th districters listed under the names "Wally Trout", "Sunny Fish", and "Al G". If I prevail in my negotiations with the Census Bureau, those names will already be taken. The blooming algae alone may get us another two congressmen!
Please, this is not a joke!I love the 9th district. I would love to continue as the only person in Congress who represents a liquid district, but unless you take the census seriously and take up residence in time to be counted next spring, I fear for my future.
Our future, I mean.
Yours truly,
Congressmen Loomis Beechly
If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
Comments (24)
I think it'd make Congressman Beechly happy to know that if I could live anywhere, I'd easily choose the cabin. Watching the cottonwood leaves change and fall, hearing the ice go out, welcoming Spring... that sounds like heaven. Unfortunately, our lake is in Iowa, but surely there are like-minded people with cabins here in Minnesota.
If I couldn't live at the lake, my second choice would be the Fair.
boring, but i'm happy to live right where i am
today the big job is to do something with all of the rescued-from-the-freeze-tomatoes - hundreds of them - sitting on the dining room table. Cong. Beechly, if i threw them in the lake nearby would they count next April?
good morning, All
Lora and Barb - you are both so dang cute. Lora's heard me say that many a time, but it's a 1st time novelty for Barb. Is that why, Barb, you weren't on TB yesterday - spent the day picking tomatoes? You say tomato, I say Del Monte, let's call the whole thing off - isn't there a song that goes something like that?
I want to live in Minnesota and that's the truth.
A cabin by a lake would be nice or a house in Grand Marais. However, I would like it if Grand Marais was very close to the Twin Cities so I could get to more of the shows at the Cedar and other things in the Twin Cities. Also, I would like it if Grand Marais and the Twin Cities could become part of Canada so that I could get good health care coverage..
The South of France!
Perhaps we could hear "I love Paris", please. I don't know any songs about the south of France, but Screamin' Jay Hawkins has an interesting version of "I love Paris".
Good morning, everyone.
Greetings! I've been reading a lot about Ecuador -- spring-like weather year round, friendly people, inexpensive living, hand made goods, fertile soil, etc. I'm thinking that's the place for me.
Don't get me wrong; I love Minnesota. But sometimes, a simpler, less materialistic and less capitalistic lifestyle is very appealing in a gorgeous landscape with actual healthy food and clean water. One can dream anyway ...
Oh-oh, does it sound like I'm telling Barb that she's never been told in her whole life she's cute? That's not what I meant at all. But just in case that's the case, I think it'd be nice for everyone to chime in and tell her so - cuz she is.
And so are all of you. I happen to think cute is a great adjective.
i should be out milking, but Jim i just had to say ha, ha! good zinger.
and Donna, Steve is the tomato (and apple) picker; i don't have the attention span for that.
oh, oh - i think the GIrls' are speed-dialing the ASPCA - better get out there.......
I agree with Joanne that Ecuador or Bolivia, which is similar to Ecuador, would be nice. I visited Bolivia and walked along mountain paths where you were welcome to reach up and pick oranges to eat that were growing along the trails. However, there is lots of poverty in Bolivia and the well-to-do people lived behind walls with security gates.
Like Barb, I'm happy where I am - which in my case is a corner of SW Minneapolis where I can walk to the library, grocery store, lake, Minnehaha Creek...(does Minnehaha count as part of Minnesota's 9th District if it doesn't have much water currently?)
I could be convinced to move to Jim's Grand Marais with its theoretical proximity to the Twin Cities and Canada. Or if Norway weren't so far away from immediate family, I think I could live there - heck if I move near my Norwegian cousins (who are mostly in and around Oslo), it would likely even be warmer than here in winter, and I could probably still walk to the grocery store.
Got any good walking songs?
Dale - thanks for the lovely, gentle Ecuadorian music. What a treat!
Jim, you make an excellent point. Unfortunately, poverty is everywhere -- even here is beautiful MN. Although the poverty in South America is probably even worse than here in U.S.
i like going away for a week in the winter in january and again in march but the one time i spent winter away from the north country i was not correct in my brain. the thought of san diego is always enticing but really... if it is 72 and sunny everyday what is the point. you may as well stay indoors. there are no highs and no lows.
in an average spring/ summer we have 10-15 perfect days where the temp and bugs are such that you can sit outdoors and smile. the past two summers have provoded 75-100 perfect days and you have to celebrate this. as for the winter, i need real live winter with snow , below zero and winter sports and activities. cactus with christmas ornaments on them are a turn off, kind of funny but still...
the twin cities with an a chance to visit a place or two a per season is ideal.
I'm all for staying where I am and going to other, more exotic places to visit. I know many people would not think of North Dakota as a place to hunker down for life, but its been a good place for us, and it gets more appealing everyday. As long as I can leave every so often and come back, I'll be happy. I think the trick is making where you are the most interesting and funny place you can.
No destination in mind just some words for Rep Beechly....
"People who do things that count never stop to count them."
The Furrow,
oooohhhh. i like that beth-ann
A little Guys and Dolls this morning, yaay! What a nice pick-me-up song. Thank you. Where would I live...hmm. I'm torn between the excitement of New York City and the beauty of Colorado's Rocky Mountains. In the city, I would spend all my time in art galleries and eating. But, in Colorado, I'd spend all day hiking the trails and taking photographs and sketches. Well, they are both amazing places.
Have a great morning!
I think I would like to return to the desert. I lived in southern New Mexico for 10 years and at the time thought it felt like prison. I returned to MN in Nov 1996 and it felt so good to get back to 4 seasons. But the older I get, the less mobile I am, the less I like dragging out the snow blower..... I am leaning toward Alamagordo, NM. I would live in the desert with snow and downhill skiing only 20 miles away. I could drive a few miles to get a "green fix" or a "snow fix" when I want it without being subjected to 9 months of misery. Don't get me wrong, there are lovely days here with no wind when the huge flakes just float on the air and gently drift to the ground. When walking around the neighborhood is totally silent because the snow vacuums up every sound. Or the warm summer nights watching the stars. I may regret it but I do feel the desert pulling me back.
I'd like to live in a pineapple under the sea, or
In an octopus' garden in the shade.
Thanks for the songs, Dale. Is it wrong to want the best of everything? *smile*
We wouldn't be Minnesotans if we didn't like it here. I have visited lots of places and Minnesota has the best mix.
Who gets the job of counting all of of Congressman Beechly's constituents? Come June it would be a very popular job!
I am with the majority. I love the Longfellow neighborhood of Minnepolis. I miss the water in Minnehaha Falls, though, Congressman Beechley. It's been barely a trickle of late. Every now and again, I fantisize about retiring in Grand Marais. But I would miss many things if I did, though.
I didn't mean to say that the majority wanted to live in the Longfellow neighborhood, just that the majority doesn't seem to want to live elsewhere! Although, you could do worse... :)
A medium sized RV (the VW van wouldn't have a bathroom) -- then I could continue flip-flopping about where I want to live, no problem. Again, you arrive to visit with your own bed... you just need a place to park.
Barb, I sympathize about the tomatoes, but it sounds like you have more than we have... Dozens sounds manageable; hundreds not so much. Good luck!
8 or so months here, the other 4 in San Francisco would be wonderful to me
about those tomatoes - I discovered overnight slow roasting this year, then freeze them; the flavor is intense; put them in omelettes or soups or stir fry with chicken etc
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