A Note of Caution
Posted at 5:00 AM on September 16, 2009
by Dale Connelly
(13 Comments)
Your window of opportunity to win tickets to Kelley Hunt's appearance at the Cedar Cultural Center this Saturday night will close at 1 this afternoon.
Enter online. Obey the rules. Good luck!
We are in a period of intense awareness regarding the H1 N1 flu. I found a message from Safety Officer Rafferty pinned to my office chair this morning.
Attention civilians!
This is a special alert for all air breathers in this vicinity! I have completed a visual inspection of the premises, and while there is no independently verifiable photographic, clinical or forensic evidence, I believe numerous harmful microbes are suspended in the local air.
That means tiny particles of every filthy kind are floating around and are going into your face each time your lungs operate. The H1 N1 virus is only ONE of the incredibly disturbing agents that might be clinging to dust particles within inhalation distance.
Please, please ... for your own safety, it is strongly suggested that you practice NO excessive breathing in this area for the next two to three months. Breathe only as required to sustain life.
That means there should be NO:
And ABSOLUTLELY NO:
That last one is especially serious. Not only is it a violation of the employee handbook, BY DEFINITION it involves physical touching, which is extremely risky under the current conditions when it involves bodily surfaces that have not been recently sanitized.
If you think you are going to sneeze in this area, it is imperative that you file an Environmental Impact Statement beforehand. The nasal ejection of airborne particulates in an occupied, enclosed workspace is a very, very serious matter. If you think you might be inclined to do this spontaneously, I advise you to purchase and install a Facial Emissions Scrubber (as pictured here) preemptively, and at your own expense.
Should sneezing occur, each incident must be reported and reviewed. Failure to do so will result in a hefty fine which can only be paid with credit, since I do NOT want to handle your cash.
Any facial tissues generated in the course of such an incident should NOT be put in the office trash stream, but rather must be safely placed inside a HAZMAT bag and delivered to a toxic waste collection site within 24 hours.
To recap:
Breathe lightly. Scrub your personal emissions. Report every possible violation. Stay safe.
P.S.: This important notice has been affixed to your chair with a very sharp pin. Be sure to remove the pin from your seat cushion and sterilize it with rubbing alcohol or a controlled flame before placing it in a desk drawer tray or other collection point.
Bathtub Safety Officer Rafferty
I admit BSO Rafferty has me a little spooked. I have made a mental note to wash my hands frequently and to keep my fingers out of my eyes, ears and nose.
What extra precautions are you taking?
Comments (13)
i hear from my former colleagues that pregnant women are especially at risk - if they get H1N1 they are more seriously ill. i suppose if one is pregnant it is too late to avoid the "canoodling." (love that word, BSO Rafferty) but take care, please.
Greetings - beautiful morning here.
I'm taking care not to touch any keyboards or mice belonging to others at work and am increasing hand washing.
My employer has informed us, however, that if it is suspected that we may be carrying h1n1, we will be sent home, with pay if we have any of our generous 5 sick days a year left or unpaid if we don't. In other words, my employer is actively encouraging the spread of the thing,.. since every sniffle of an employee will be hidden, every ache and pain stoically endured.
Stay well, all. :-)
I love that word too, Barb. Of course, I didn't know what it meant, so I followed your lead and looked it up. Here's one of Urban Dictionary's definitions:
The act of enjoying anothers company by getting close to them. This generally takes place on a couch and activities include but are not limited to: whispering, giggling, hot gossip, pillow talk, and squeezies. It IS socially acceptable to canoodle in areas with others, to a minimal degree, even when some believe it is not. Pillows and blankets are usually associated with canoodling as well. Some restrictions apply, results may vary.
Ahh ...so we're talking smut here - that I get!
I suspect the H1 N1 scare is overblown, much like teen pregnancy.
Thanks for a fun intro to an otherwise humdrum Wednesday, DC!
It was a relief to finally hear from BSO Rafferty. This week I was working on a real plan to provide back-up staffing for the safety officer if the prediction that 40% of the workforce could fall ill simultaneously. We were a little shallow on extra qualified folks, Do you think Mr Rafferty has had ICS 300 training? If so, have him get in touch!
I don't think I can follow all of Rafferty's rules. Does this mean that he will be collecting a fine from me? I think he will have trouble collecting the fine because he will not want to get near me.
There have been some cases of H1N1 in my community among school kids. I've stopped doing substitute teaching, so I will not be exposed to the kids. I mostly stay away from people except for my wife who is very careful about germs. I don't think I can get H1N1 by entering comments on this blog, right?
Greetings! It's good to hear from BSO Rafferty -- such good fun! I laughed at that one.
Like Donna, I believe H1N1 is overblown, but there is a chance it could cause severe problems. To stay healthy, I'm drinking green smoothies, getting probiotics, Vit D and make sure I have colloidal silver and grapefruit seed extract on hand for infections.
For your health and safety, please AVOID ALL FLU SHOTS. The current one was rushed to market, is untested, full of proven toxic adjuvants, etc. See Dr. Mercola's site for great information. Have a great day all!
Hand washing hand washing hand washing is my mantra (sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" or the ABC song while you wash to be sure you've been at it long enough...a trick I learned from Daughter's preschool). And if it gets ugly at work, I'll work from home - thanks to technology I can work from the slightly more contained environment of my dining room table if there are too many sneezes in my corner of Corporate America.
Thanks BSO Rafferty - I'll follow some of your advice, but will have to create an online request at work (signed by two managers) for the haz mat container for tissues, so it may not arrive in time to do much good.
A big thank you to Barb in Blackhoof for telling me to try Window Media Player for receiving RH. She said it solved her problems with getting the show and it also solved mine. I had problems which required me to restart the boardcast several times each morning and now I don't have these problems.
I don't like getting flu shoots because they might not cover all the kinds of flu that are around and they might have side effects. However, in my family I am expected to get my flu shot. I think the warning againest flu shots that Joanne mentioned might have some merit, but I will have to take my chances an get my flu shot.
thanks for bringing officer rafferty back to see us. i have wondered about him. the bathtub seems like the perfect to sneeze and an interesting place to canoodle so i am wondering if that is how officer rafferty got involved in these observations. could you check with officer rafferty to see if it is ok to bathtub dance while recovering from the h1n1 virus. (bathtub dancing is one of my favorite ways to cannodle) glad all is well in the radio haeartland world where sneezing is ok as long as you don't do it directly into the speaker.
It seems like no matter what precautions I take, I still get sick at least once every year. Sorry Officer, all the precautions in the world can't keep the flu out of my house, but I will still try for the sake of others around me. Have a great morning! Drink lots of juice.
you are welcome, Jim. that was a very short vacation, not? and Donna, i am flattered. :-)
i am just thinking that, nowhere else in the world could i tune in and KNOW what station is playing this wonderful, eclectic mix of music. thanks, Dale and Mike, for creating RH and keeping the music we love alive (even if i have to be attached to the dang computer to stream :-)
just finished setting a batch of chevre from this morning's milk. it's cool up here and the goats are very happy. (btw - they sneeze quite often and do not turn in hazmat bags - oh, oh! but BSO, the sneezing is not from illness - it's a communication thing with them. achoo- i love this hay! or achoo- i love running real fast! or achoo- something dangerous nearby!)
I too think the hype is overdone, got a feeling this may be one of those self-fulfilling prophesies: there'll be a lot of H1N1 flu because we BELIEVE there will be. I'm with you, Joanne, never get vaccinated, and never get the flu.
I wish BSO Rafferty would add, as a preventative measure, getting more SLEEP... whenever I START to feel a cold coming on, I take an extra nap or get to bed extra early, and it seems to knock it out. That and the lots of fluids, good water being the best.
thank you Jasper for Imogen Heap!
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