Best Foot Forward
Posted at 5:15 AM on August 11, 2009
by Dale Connelly
(20 Comments)
Barb of Blackhoof mentioned in the comments yesterday that she was preparing entries for the Carlton County Fair in these hotly contested categories: potatoes, onions and soap.
It turns out the preparation is quite involved. For instance, Barb says the onions have to be "well cured, with a narrow neck - roots trimmed to an even half inch. not washed, etc." For potatoes, there have to be ten in an entry, all of equal size and without bruises. I'm sure the soap rules are just are rigorous, but the prize money is worth all the trouble. Barb admits that it is in the multiiples of dollars. If her potatoes capture a top award in all three categories, the winnings might total seven dollars - enough for Barb and Steve to visit the mini donut stand AND share a pronto pup or perhaps upgrade to the mammoth barrel of french fries, which would be ironic considering the source of the winnings!
At the State Fair, the stakes are even higher, and the rules, equally strict.
"Tubers should be clean and attractive, uniform in size and shape, free from blemishes and diseases, and true to variety name. Diseased potatoes will be disqualified and not shown. Any exhibit with a variety mixture will be disqualified."
Oh, and your handsome Carlton County potatoes? You can't enter the same ones at the State Fair, even if they were champions. Perhaps ESPECIALLY if they were champions. State Fair potato contest potatoes must be fresh and previously un-judged.
Among their many other significant social roles, you would have to say Our County Fairs and Our State Fair are beauty contests for the produce. Just as humans seem driven to compare and compete with one another under standards of poise and appearance, our potatoes must also vie for primacy, although by demanding that they enter in groups of ten, it does not appear to be necessary to crown ONLY ONE of the potatoes as most beautiful of all.
Nor, I might add, is there a talent contest. But why not?
Why do we encourage predictability and uniformity in our produce at the expense of allowing them to express their individuality? Isn't that what America is all about - the freedom to develop one's personal gifts? And yet we deny this opportunity to our tubers!
If we could only see our way clear to change these 19th century expectations of what a potato should be, I think our tubers would amaze us!
Just look at what is possible!
I got to have my picture in the paper in 1962 for an Easter Bonnet contest - the only prize I ever won for anything based on looks. And that award was really for the hat my mother made - my 7 year old head was merely a prop for staging. I still have the clipping somewhere. I must admit I set the hat off beautifully. It was light and floral and full of color, while my head looked round and lumpy - like a potato.
Has you ever found yourself in a competition where the outcome was based solely on looks?
Comments (20)
hee, hee - great comments, Dale. and it's amazing that the potatoes are not tasted. they could be the worst-flavored and textured taters but if they were pretty..... so there is no "miss congeniality" or maybe better, "ugliest but best tasting" tater award.
even stranger, the soap doesn't seem to be washed with. wouldn't one want to know if the soap was creamy, lathering and didn't eat one's skin off??
oh well. on to another busy day trying to find 10 identical potatoes in that patch :-)
Good morning RH,
Wow - I had no idea tubers were so complex! I will certainly take more time to notice them at the state fair this year between deep-fried food stops.
Competition based solely on looks? Not since highschool dating. The traits I was blessed with - drop dead funny and laugh out loud gorgeous - were not, as I recall, very desirable. But a big chest - now, that would have made me a serious contender!
Good luck at the fair Barb. Do you sell your soap via your website?
Dale, I do not believe you had a lumpy head, ever! Here's another hint about the Ben Sollee song in which boys don't cry that I was trying to get you to play last week, but you blew me off - It's called It's Not Impossible.
I loved the potato head picture Dale! I do find it odd that the taters aren't even tasted Barb. I dion't know if there is or isn't a link between beautiful and good tsting, but I think they should be tasting all food items in judging.
I was in a silly camp contest as a kid, wearing a borrowed dress I was cabin queen for the field day with the boys camp across the lake. Just like the taters I guess, the older blonde won!
I found myself (age 18) at the America's Junior Miss pageant. It started out as providing a venue for me to perform flute at the time and turned out to be what could only be described as a surreal experience. I departed sans national tiara or sash, mostly unscathed, though it did transform me into a pretty good feminist.
Barb of Blackhoof, are you an Etsy Seller of your soaps?
Happy Tuesday, all.
Barb, I'll be looking for your potatoes.
Radio Heartlanders should know Barb will also be "goat show secretary in training" and my assistant for the goat show on Thursday. The goats will be judged on beauty, sturdiness of leg, capacity for milk production, conformation to breed standards. As Barb said, starts at 9, may last until 3.
MPR's Cathy Wurzer will be signing her Highway 61 book on Saturday over at the Carlton County Historical Society's General Store from 11 to 2.
The CCHS exhibit will also feature separating milk from cream...goat and cow milk...always a great attraction. We usually find a teen or two to turn the handle...and if we are lucky we only spill a bit,.
We also have a group of spinners, a guy playing a hundred year old accordion...samples of goat cheese, fresh bread and butter...
Elsewhere on the grounds flower, cattle, sheep, rabbit, chicken judging, draft horse pulls, dog obedience classes...and more.
a real old fashioned fair...do come!
Good morning RH!
Hard to think of anything to say about potatoes seeing that I dont eat them but I do have a gig at a county fair on Friday with a greatly respected band, which will be fun. Dale can you look into this phenomena of disruptions at Town hall meetings over health care issues? Send Bud Buck? I feel like something is afoot here and if anyone can draw generalizations very fast, its Mr. Buck.
Hi Aaron,
Bud Buck might be a greater disruption at a Town Hall forum than any of the committed disrupters who show up. He has a way of pushing his own agenda. But I'll ask him if he's interested.
What band are you playing with, and at which county fair?
Beauty contest? Not per se - though I did win an award for "most humorous entry" with a friend in a costume contest; we entered as a a mother-daughter pair of aliens, As the daughter, I was carrying Captain Kirk's love child and Mom was none-too-pleased...(there was blue makeup, some perfectly wonderfully awful pastel and lame dresses probably from the early 70s, and a really good silhouette on the back curtain when I came on stage with the pregnancy suit...) Beauty - not even close. But it was silly and fun.
I'm playing with the Johnny Holm Band at the Dakota County Fair. Its a fun show with lots of audience participation and cover songs everybody knows. We do My Girl, Brown Eyed Girl, and a lot of more recent hits. Our genre varies, from classic rock to country to polkas. Its very fun stuff to do
Greetings Heartlanders! I have generally avoided any contest based on looks -- I'm rather lacking in that department. Sure didn't have any dates in high school ...
However, I do compete in karate and I usually place 1st or 2nd -- of which I am quite proud. Form and technique, as well as intensity with karate yells all factor into judging.
Good luck to all potato/goat/produce competitors in their respective fairs. I remember a couple of GK Lake Wobegon monologues about tomato judging and all the politicking involved -- quite amusing actually. Hope you have a good, clean contest.
I agree with Dale. Lets stop looking for uniform appearance. Some times there is the most unusual vegetable contest at fairs. Then you get some really interesting looking vegetables in strange shapes.
Captain Kirk’s love child reminds me of the ‘evil computer’ discussion yesterday – I just read more of yesterday’s comments and THITH noted a list of other episodes dealing with computers gone wild. I’ll add “For the world is hollow, and I have touched the sky”.
Never been in a contest based on looks. The fact I am married is a testament to that. ;-)
Late '80s, Husband and I got invited to a "Come as you Aren't" cross-dressing Halloween party! So I wore the tux and he had a lovely blue formal. We didn't win the first prize, but it was worth going just to see friends acting out the opposite gender! The hard part was finding high heels for Husband's feet...
Sorry, meant TGITH. ^^^
Mike - yeah, I read TGitHat comments a few minutes ago as well from yesterday about old Star Trek episodes of Kirk vs Evil Computer. A comprehensive list for certain. We can always count on him to put together great lists of interesting things!
After much memory searching, I can recall a costume contest that I did attend. I went Mystery Science Theater 3000 Conventio-Con-Expo-Fest-O-Rama's 'Glittering Costume Ball.' You had to go dressed as a character from the show or one of the movies they'd parodied. I rented a nun's outfit and went as one of the sisters from the 1959 'Girl's Town' that they'd quipped at. (Mamie Van Doren as her trademark 'chick with a chip on her shoulder,' Paul Anka as the 'now squeaky clean dreamy heartthrob ~with a past~', and Mel Torme as the bad guy tough punk.) Anyway, I didn't win anything but I drew substantial attention as the nun with a moustache.
WAY off topic, but does anyone know something clever to do with unripe apples? A branch just came down (drought-related stress?), too early with half-ripe ones. We usually juice them all, and could add sweetener I suppose (ick)... I was thinking maybe a mead, which I'll look up on internet. Anyway, thought I'd ask this creative group.
I would try either an apple crisp, adding peaches or some other sweeter fruit in addition to the apples, or apple jelly, or apple chutney. The less-than-ripe fruits should have lots of pectin for jelly, and you need to add lots of sugar to jelly anyway. I suppost goats or pigs would find them an especially tasty treat if you can't cook with them. Also, could you dry them for potpourri?
Barbara in Rbsd - i bet one could make a pretty good chutney out of green apples (and green tomatoes, here!)
i googled green apple chutney and got lots of hits. this one looked pretty good:
http://www.recipezaar.com/Green-Apple-Chutney-301331
Thanks, Renee and Barb -- think I'll try some of the crisp and the chutney!
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