Kind Thanks and a Friendly Gesture
Posted at 5:35 AM on July 6, 2009
by Dale Connelly
(13 Comments)
Here's a communique from Congressman Loomis Beechly of Minnesota's 9th district, which includes all the water surface area in the state.
Thanks to everyone who visited the 9th District over the Fourth of July holiday.
I know I speak for all my constituents when I make this official statement:
'It was great having you in the district. Floating or submerged, visitors are the lifeblood of the 9th and we're often happy to see you. Please come again next year or hang around a while longer yet this summer if you still have some money left.
But if you've already spent everything you've got, or you're deep in debt, or you're out of a job, please, please, go home. And if you don't have a home, remember this - much of the 9th district is frozen for about half the year.'
I hope this doesn't seem too harsh. In summertime, people seem to think that life on the water is easier than life on land and a person without means can last for a long time with only a tent, a sleeping bag, some bait, a fishing pole and a place to build a fire. It's true, this can work for a while. But eventually nature reminds you why humans invented weather stripping and forced-air heat, so don't get too comfortable. We must all eventually come face-to-face with the awkward challenges of the future.
And while I'm on the subject of awkward challenges, let me be among the several in Congress to welcome Minnesota's new junior Senator, Al Franken, who will be sworn in this week. I have sent him a 40 page welcoming letter complete with maps, historical notes and helpful hints. Here's an excerpt:
Your role in our state's delegation over the last six months has been much like my own - a phantom presence, unavoidable but immaterial, hovering. People didn't know whether or not to acknowledge you since your status was in flux. It's the same with me, seeing as how I represent a district (all the water surface area in the state) that fluxes all over the place. Sometimes my district is large. Sometimes it's tiny. Sometimes it busts its boundaries and flows over other people's districts, or even into and across different states. It can be unruly and inappropriate, embarrassing and uncouth.
I'm here to say - that kind of behavior doesn't go over well in Congress and it will cost you, unless you have accumulated a whole lot of power.
But I'm already impressed with your highly publicized resolve to not be a media hog and to simply put your head down and "do the work" to earn the respect of his constituents and the other Senators. Brave choice! Because if there's anything the media loves more than a media hog, it's a media hog who's actively trying to avoid the media. It drives them crazy!
But stick to your unloaded guns, soon-to-be-low-profile junior Senator Franken! And if you need to misdirect some reporters, don't hesitate to send them over to me. I have plenty of time to spare. I'm naturally obscure and professionally verbose, and I will make them sorry they chose journalism as a career, if they're not sorry already.
Sincerely,
Loomis Beechly, Congressman, Minnesota's 9th district
How can a life-of-the-party type of person with a magnetic personality successfully keep a low profile in a crowd of eager reporters?
Any helpful suggestions from the naturally obscure?
Comments (13)
Good morning, All! beautiful day here in Blackhoof Twp. thanks, Dale, for keeping us in touch with Congressman Beechly - always fun to hear. and much good luck to the junior senator. i haven't the faintest idea how anyone can get anything done in the political atmosphere nowadays while staying out of the media whirlwind.. uffda.
Speaking of staying out of the media....I saw Jim Ed this weekend. I drove up to Avon (I think it's near the 9th district) to see the PHC extravaganza.Even though he's retired it seems that Jim Ed has kept his gig driving Tom Keith to the show.He says retirement agrees with him. Jim Ed was resplendent in red, white, and blue in honor of Independence Day.Someone asked him to sign something and JimEd actually needed to look at his watch for the date. He said that retired folks don't need to know what day it is.
For political speech-Amy Klobuchar's description on PHC of following naked men in barrels is worth emulating, although Senator-elect Franken probably needs to wait ahile before his use of the word naked is linked to his writings in Playboy.
i retired over 5 yrs ago and took off my watch and have never worn one since; have to keep a calendar so i know what day it is
yay jim ed
another thanx for Prairie Sun, always starts things off right (and i know it's monday)
as for Al, he can be a bit snarky sometimes (used to listen to his radio show) so he should zip it for awhile and listen and learn
a hermit such as myself has nothing to offer in the way of the requested advice. i think franken has the intelligence to recognize that his new role places him in a situation where a new skill set will be required. :-)
Franken could vow to keep silent, except when he needed to speak as part of any necessary duties. If he does this he shouldn't tell any one because even a vow of silence would lead to a lot of news stories. Perhaps he has already made this vow.
Actually there are a lot of things that Franken should talk about and he probably really would be ignored if he spoke up about important issues that aren't politically popular.
I was near Beechly's territiory when I went to see the fire works on the 4th on the shores of Fountain Lake in Albert Lea. However, I didn't spot that celibrity, Mike the Albert Lea Mayor, when I was in Albert Lea.
i always enjoy these little assignments, dale---helps me start the day with a small purpose :-)
My advice for Senator Franken is the same advice my father gave me if i ever got lost--just stay put.
if ya wanna avoid the press, stay home, don't answer the phone. at the office, stay in the office and have someone else answer the phone. think hard, listen a lot, and as far as i'm concerned, the use of some well-chosen humor certainly couldn't hurt in DC.
i sort of approve of a senator who can be forthright and direct and call 'em as he sees 'em--minnesota nice don't work in the beltway :-0
have a great day, everyone
oh, yeah, and Al, don't have extramarital sex of any kind with anyone--:-)
KAY!!! I wish I'd said that!
Instead, I'll offer that Al has already suffered enough humility to keep him honest and humble - he has adult children, doesn't he? (that's a joke)
Oh, yeah, and stay away from public enemas!
Hi all,
Hope everyone enjoyed the holiday weekend. Jim - I did appear in the 3rd of July parade (twice!), and also in the waterski show Saturday afternoon. For the fireworks, I was lost in the crowd. Hope we can get introduced sometime as the southern MN contingent of RH listeners.
I agree with the wisdom above... I think Franken's very intelligent and knows to tone it down. Some unknowns are his resolve and control of temper, but I'm betting he's determined to show a new face.
Loved the Stage Door Concert last night, Dale, the last hour that I was able to hear. In addition to his musical talents, Dan Chouinard is quite a story teller, with one about the night in was it '87? when the Twins first one the World Series... Fun listening!
...make that first won the World Series. Yikes. :|
Thanks for the comments, everyone.
Jim, I'm tickled by the idea of a secret vow of silence - it's the best kind of vow to make!
And Barbara, thanks for listening to the Dan Chouinard Stage Door show last night. I was afraid I was the only one tuned in, so I'm glad to know now that I was not alone.
For those who missed it, we'll re-broadcast at 1pm this Wednesday, as usual.
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