- Become a Member
- Join Now
- Sustaining Members
- Member Benefits
- Match Your Contribution
- FAQ
- Existing Members
- Member Discounts
- Member Benefits
- Change of Address
- Tax Information
A Few Words From the Woods
Posted at 5:15 AM on July 3, 2009
by Dale Connelly
(20 Comments)
Happy 3rd of July, everyone!
Tonight in St. Paul, at a place called The Celtic Junction at 836 North Prior Avenue, Friends of Pop Wagner will have a potluck and performance to help him defray the medical cost of injuries sustained when he was thrown off a horse.
I'll talk to Pop in the first hour today and he'll explain why it's not the horse's fault. You can find out more at Pop Wagner's website.
There's a lot going on this weekend. Don't forget the Prairie Home Companion live FREE broadcast from Lake Wobegon Park in Avon, Minnesota. That's tomorrow.
Sunday night at 7 right here on Radio Heartland, listen for the full length broadcast of Dan Chouinard's "Saturday Night at the Stage Door Piano Bar", recorded May 30th at the Fitzgerald Theater.
And of course we have a text message advisory from Bart the Bear.
(English translation follows).
HpE 4th of jul! I hope ur planin 2 travL. Dnt B a crabby, territorial stay-at-home. Dats 4 us bears 2 do. N nothA thng ...
Wen u cum 2 d w%ds, syns wl sA "don't feed d bears". Bt dats nt polite.
Wen u go 2 vzit ea oder, u brng f%d gfts, ryt? Tnk of us bears as yr hosts n hostesses. W'r yr fellow creaturs n we nd 2 e@. d syns shd sA "don't feed d bears" shd sA "don't feed d bears junk". Feed d bears gud, fresh, locally grown f%d ful of antixoidants. No chips. Hld ' d pocket pies n factry md cupcakes. Brng nce fings, f a gud bottl of wne S yr usual hostess gft, that'll wrk 4 us.
Treat us ryt n we promiS nt 2 peel bac d roof of yr car.
Av a safe holz. Yr pal Bart d Bear.
Translation:
Happy Fourth of July! I hope you're planning to travel. Don't be a grumpy, territorial stay-at-home. That's for us bears to do.And another thing ... When you come to the woods, signs will say "don't feed the bears".
But that's not polite. When you go to visit each other, you bring food gifts, right? Think of us bears as your hosts and hostesses. We are your fellow creatures and we need to eat. The signs that say "don't feed the bears" should say "don't feed the bears junk". Feed the bears good, fresh, locally grown food full of antioxidants.No chips. Hold the pocket pies and factory made cupcakes. Bring nice things. If a good bottle of wine is your usual hostess gift, that will work for us.
Treat us right and we promise not to peel back the roof of your car.Have a safe holiday.
Your friend Bart the Bear.
I'm surprised there's no text message shorthand for "antioxidants".
And what sort of wine do you bring to bears in the woods?
Red or White?
French or Californian?
Bottled or boxed?
So many choices!
Comments (20)
good morning - happy 4th - hope everyone has a safe, enjoyable weekend.
please do not feed Bart! around here, a fed bear is a dead bear sooner or later. people call them "nuisance bears" and then someone "euthanizes" the bear. sorry to be so glum, but i think that euthanization term for killing an animal that has been fed because it is so cute and now is habituated is just wrong. geez, i'm getting pretty crabby - sorry, Bart - just hoping you don't get fed and that you stay safe and happy in the forest. bring the wine but share it with friends - and have a good one!
I concur with Barb from Blackhoof. It is best NOT to feed the bears (sorry, Bart). I have a friend whose neighbor is feeding the bears off her front porch...well, she does live in the woods, but, seems to lack some common sense about dealing with a wild omnivore who can be a bit testy when the food runs out...
Happy Fourth Weekend all!
Barb is right, Bart. No wine or other "people" food for you. This is for your own good. You should gather your own food and please leave the food supply of the campers alone. I hear you or some of your fellow bears like to get into the food supplies of campers.
Maybe you could use a new cell phone as a back up when the one you are using goes dead, but please don't ask again for food. It would be good if you could tell us where you are so we could get a look at you and take pictures. We promise not to tell any bear hunters about where you might be.
This made me laugh a lot, Dale. Between the bear texting and the actual message, I had a fine time! Poor Bart. It seems his text is falling on deaf ears. Or unseeing eyes. Or something.
Happy Fourth, everyone!
back from milking and thinking and i want to apologize. - for the rude, humorless post and for preaching to the choir. and especially want to tell Dale that i appreciate how you daily entertain me - with much humor and diplomacy - even when i don't deserve it! and i see you played City of NO - thanks - and i'll try to catch it on the replay.
with humility -
American Patrol by Glenn Miller was a great choice, thanks Dale.
BTW, if you're looking for a wine high in antioxidants, the Cannonau variety from Sardinia can't be beat. In Albert Lea, we're participating in a pilot project to increase longevity. Sardinians drink this wine and have higher longevity. This is based on research by Dan Buettner, resulting in the Blue Zones Vitality project - here's a link:
Have a great 4th all.
hey, barb---and cynthia--and others---if you can't emote a little on a blog, what is it for?! i didn't think your post was rude and humorless, but passionate and sensible---i know this is a real issue for y'all up north---
"a fed bear is a dead bear" reminds me of visiting zion national park recently, where they had decided they had to add this warning to all brochures and booklets and signs:
"a cell phone does not make you invincible"
well, i reckon we all knew that, but some folks don't!
happy fourth, all--and i like peter paul and mary's If i had a hammer for 4th of july---"it's a bell of freeeee-dom!"
yeah--freedom. freedom from what? i'm thinking today about freedom from attachment to material things, freedom to follow my heart's desire, freedom to be true to my myself...and freedom from other people's agendas!
and of course, freedom from work on a day off :-)
how's about the rest of ya?
Happy Fourth of July everyone!
I think I am getting the hang of reading text. I got most of it without the help of translation. If you could sneak out into the woods to drop Bart a care package and sneak out again, I think that would be alright. No feeding off the porch, though. That is just too close for comfort. I was also wondering, how does Bart recharge his phone? Solar power?
Anyway, drive safe and drink responsibly this weekend.
Dale,
Thanks for a melting pot of American music this morning. What a treat!
I understand we shouldn't feed the bears, but how about a bottle of Barefoot Wine (www.barefootwine.com) for the guy? The spelling isn't precise but how picky can a mendicant orsine be?
Happy Holiday Heartlanders!
Good Morning--Thanks for all of the stirring music this morning! To change the topic though...I would like to consider politely asking Jim Ed to join Dale at the State Fair for a live State Fair Morning Show. What do you think?
Kathy of Rogers
I took a stab at a text version of antioxidants.
ntxedns
The 'ntxe' part works OK, was looking for a text version of 'dance' but no luck. Perhaps Bart could chew on that a bit.
Greetings Heartlanders! It's good to hear from Bart the Bear. Much as we would like to, I concur with the sensible folks who say to refrain from feeding wild bears.
We each have our ecological niche -- unfortunately, we humans have way overstepped our boundaries in this arena as well.
To Kay H - Right now I have freedom from work, freedom from karate, standing, cleaning, walking or any other physical activity. I sustained a severe bruise to my shin in sparring last Tues. My lower leg is all sorts of colors right now and the swelling keeps me off my feet. While my boys help me when necessary, the house is a disaster! I'm getting tired of sitting on my butt all the time, but I'm sure some good will come of it. Happy 4th everybody!
Good Morning!
Having visited Alaska last summer right after Petra Davis was mauled by a grizzly, I have to weigh in on the side of not feeding the bears and would offer Bart a comparison perspective; when bears come to visit they don't bring us food so when in Rome do as the bears do...
Kay H - Cell phones don't make you invincible? Say it isn't so! I had a shop teacher in Jr. High that was a fanatic about wearing safety goggles. We poked fun at him (behind his back of course) saying things like 'That hammer won't hurt my fingers because I'm wearing my safety goggles!"
Happy Holiday everyone!
and this blog is educational! didn't know the word "mendicant," Beth Ann - thanks!
A wine for the woods...hmmm... Well, I'm no wine afficionado but something 'earthy' (which I think is winespeak for 'it's got dirt in it') and something that doesn't need to be chilled (unless it's winter and you can stick it in a snowbank and drink it before hypothermia sets in). I suppose it makes a difference what you're munching on too. Now, if you're a bear in the city, you'll need something to go with anything from bird feeder fare to garbage. Certainly a challenge. I'd go with a light rose without too much oak. Something that enhances sunflower seeds and suet but tones down the rot of trash. No need for a lot of nose with bears' sense of smell. For the traditional woods where fare can range from wild game, to nuts and berries, to people food, to people (if nothing else is handy), I'd go with a pinot noir. A good all-around red.
On a more serious note, if you haven't checked out Winehaven in Chisago City, you really should. This little mom & pop operation is consistently winning bronze, silver, and gold medals in wine competitions. They offer a menu of reds, whites, roses, fruits, and meads (they make their own honey). Their fall rhubarb wine is the stuff of legend.
ntixidnts??
I was squinting my way through Bart's text (it's tough on my early-AM brain functioning) and then found the translation underneath...whew.
Will safety goggles keep us safe from wayward cars as we're out cycling?
Thanks for the comments, everyone.
Don't worry about the scolding tone, Barb. Someone has to tell Bart to behave, though that will never stop him from asking. He is incorrigible.
As far as hic cellphone battery life is concerned, Mike, the re-charge comes from the same place Bart gets the ability to text.
It's other-worldly.
And Kathy, Radio Heartland WILL be at the State Fair this year. We've secured a spot at the MPR booth on Friday, August 28th, from 9 am to 11 am.
That's later than the old Morning Show slot so the grounds will be busier and noisier througout our broadcast, but for a radio service hungry for publicity, commotion is a good thing.
Our musical guests will be Ann Reed, BoJoNo, and the Ditchlillies.
Jim Ed, I'm sorry to say, has already declined an invitation to appear.
Wow, bears and milking cows! A different
life, that's for sure.
Here in SoCal we're trying to figure out
who made the holes in our little back yard.
Perhaps a cottontail, or a gopher?
Wouldn't James Taylor's version of
"Hard Times Come Again No More" be
appropriate as people here in California
are receiving IOU's from the State?
Thanks for the great music.
Sandy
OK, texters - how do you get "holiday" from "holz"? I could never get the hang of this! Bart the Bear is smarter than me.
I enjoyed the music selections this morning, great ideas everyone. Happy Fourth, all of you!
How 'bout freedom to hear The Dale Connelly Show in REbroadcast. I would have hated to miss this morning's selection, and not likely to rise early on a holiday.
Love the wine suggestions... I'm gonna find that Cannonau variety from Sardinia, Mike in A.L. I read about that pilot project, and it made me wish I lived in Albert Lea!
Hi, Sandy from San Clemente CA: I do feel for you all. I hope to visit my sister in Richmond come August, and hope everything is still there!
(And FYI, it's milking GOATS that they're referring to...)
Related Programs
| July 2009 | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| S | M | T | W | T | F | S |
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | |||
| 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
| 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | |
Master Archive
Recent Entries
- Become a Member
- Leadership Circle
- Sustaining Members
- Member Discounts
- Become a Sponsor
- Tax Information
- Planned Giving
- Fundraising Credentials
- Vehicle Donation
- Donate Stock