Opportunity and Employment
Posted at 5:32 AM on May 5, 2009
by Dale Connelly
(19 Comments)
First the opportunity. Radio Heartland has tickets to give away, this time to a concert at the Cedar Cultural Center with Roma di Luna and Pieta Brown on Friday, May 15th. Enter the drawing. Please. We won't rest until every one of our listeners has had the chance to go to a show!
Regarding employment, I subscribe to an irregular newsletter published by my dealmaker friend, Spin Williams, who presides over Spin Williams Consulting and is always at the head of the table at The Meeting That Never Ends.
Here's his latest:
Jobs rebound!
New, clean jobs are being created every day, even as old industrial jobs are being dismantled and sold at a loss for scrap.
And where are these new jobs?Because we have an energetic, change-making government, jobs are opening up on a moment-by-moment basis in the important lobbying and think-tank industries!
That's right, with the latest announcement that the government is looking to neutralize off-shore tax havens, plus the financial system being overhauled, the auto industry being restructured, and health care being reconfigured, there has never been a greater demand for frothy, excitable lobbyists who can cry FOUL and casual analysts ready to slap their names on reports from prestigious organizations like The Center for Pompous Pontification and The Doom Sayer Institute.
And thanks to new restrictions about how soon former office holders can move into the lobbying force, I need ordinary people who can start today. I'm taking people off the street. I'm asking teenagers to walk away from the video store and abandon the french fry machine.
Seriously, it's all hands on deck!If you've never considered being a lobbyist, think about it now! Our government is doing everything it can to get business to hire more of them. This is the full-employment program you've been waiting for! Panic is setting in and alarmed and alarming people are needed to get the attention of our beleaguered legislators in any way possible!
If you have any experience at all in hand wringing, arm twisting, leg pulling or head turning, we have a tailored suit, a business card and a Blackberry waiting for you!
Apply today! Don't Delay!
Clearly, Spin has been hired to bolster forces in our vital Opinion Change Industry, and is not shy about using up exclamation points, even if it means there will be no enhanced punctuation left for our children and our children's children. I know lobbyists are regularly misrepresented and misunderstood by the media. We do that because it's fun. But seriously, if you could get big bucks to schmooze, wheedle and cajole around an issue of your own devising, what would it be?
Repeal of the Goat Tax?
Full Funding of the Fresh Pizza Topping Mandate?
Passage of the 8 Hours Sleep Act of 2009?
Personally, I would become a lobbyist to pour my passion into passage of the Salted Cashew Subsidy for Bald Men.
No kidding. It's really important for our future, and for our children, that this measure be passed immediately.
Comments (19)
Morning Heartlanders.
Plenty of things that I want to lobby for (more Farmers' Markets, tax subsidies for multiple dog owners, mandatory spa days for single mothers) but not if I have to wear a tailored suit and carry a Blackberry around!
Everybody have a great day!
like Sherrilee, i would eschew the accouterments of lobbyist's life - like having to wear shoes that don't have goat poop on them - but there are causes, Dale!! i would work for more money for cool public radio programs and HD access for the whole state!!!!!!!!!!!
good morning, RH folks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
will lobby for more sleep.
morning, all!
I would think that lobbying for the 8 Hour Sleep Act would be good. How about support for paid vacations for retired people? What I want to know is where Spin gets the money to pay for these new lobbys or who is paying for them?
The conservatives will be investigating these new lobbys and appose the passage of funding for them. They certainly will appose any new tax to fund them.
However, there may be new enterprises developing that will pay for this lobbying. Are these new enterpises sustainable or is this another scam that our children will have to pay for?
Happy Cinco de Mayo! Any cheerful fiesta music for us to dance to this morning?
To hell with lobbying - I just want more damn pay! That and HD signal in my neck of the woods too, Barb.
Or...possibly subsidies for underpaid educators with fetishes for eclectic music, cursing, and ice cream. But foremost, an expanded digital range.
I'd lobby for a mandatory day of adult re-education in soap bubble blowing, sidewalk chalk drawing and sand castle making. Other optional topics might include re-introduction to the swing, slide and/or splashing at the lake. Of course all of this would have to happen on a Blackberry-free day (unless the Blackberry in question was a flavor of ice cream).
I'd lobby for a mandatory day of adult re-education in soap bubble blowing, sidewalk chalk drawing and sand castle making. Other optional topics might include re-introduction to the swing, slide and/or splashing at the lake. Of course all of this would have to happen on a Blackberry-free day (unless the Blackberry in question was a flavor of ice cream).
Greetings Heartlanders! Personally, I'd like to see the 8-hr Sleep Act passed -- that's just mandatory for good health and to lessen the numbers of grumpy people (yes, I'm a morning person!).
I'd also like Weekly Massage Entitlements, Universal Organic Farming Act and a Four-Hour Workday Limit. And while I enjoy wearing my comfy casual clothes, I've always coveted a nice tailored suit and a pink Blackberry (a throwback to my corporate days).
With these accessories, there's dozens of wonderful things I'd lobby for to make this world a much more pleasant place. Ah, such is the stuff dreams are made of ...
Hi Dale -- could I please lobby to hear Brave Combo's version of "Louie, Louie?" That was such a fun piece -- I still remember it from one of your Saturday night shows.
(Apologies for the double post - apparently my need for whimsy in the world does not extend to blog servers being whimsical about showing my post. Oops.)
Good Morning!
Well I'll take just about anything that has a revenue stream associated with it as long as there aren't also legal or ethical problems. The first thing I would lobby for is an iPhone rather than a Blackberry unless it's an ice cream flavor as Anna has pointed out.
I would also join with Donna in lobbying for better compensation for educators regardless of their personal tastes or fetishes. When Wall Street bankers are holding bake sales and teachers are getting million dollar bonuses I will rest.
Hey Dale & Mike, thanks for Spoon River! I had only heard the Claudia Schmidt version and was prepared for a letdown but was very pleased with this version as well. It did still whet my pallet for some Claudia Schmidt if there's some laying around..
Mark - I love the image of a Wall Street Robber -- oops, I mean Banker -- wearing fancy 3-piece pin-striped suits, accessorizeed with a frilly apron while selling baked goods ... ha ha!
Whoo Yeah! Thanks, Dale! That version of "Louie, Louie" is even better than I remembered. I'm still out of breath from dancing the rhumba (by myself). My dear husband is still sleeping (one of those grumpy people), but he can't dance to save his life anyway.
Dale and Mike - thanks for playing the Flaco Jimenez "En El Cielo No Hay Cerveza" - while i'm sure that my Mom didn't hear it, i'll tell her about it and she will be pleased. if everyone comes to Mahtowa to TJ's Country Store toward the end of May for the "Wurst Days" they can hear the "Wurst Polka Band" play same in english and german. then they usually get goofy and say "in Finnish!" and proceed to "la la-la, la la la la!" there's a walk/run, a (TJ's) brat eating contest and i think he's added other activities as well. it's usually cold and rainy :-) that day but everyone turns out anyway.
Joanne, i hadn't heard that version of Louie, Louie - it rocks, and i can undderstand the lyrics! thanks for requesting it.
Donna, do you undertake cursing as an art? not just lazy same-word stuff, right? maybe a grant to pursue this?
Barb in Blackhoof...I'll meet you at TJs for Wurst Days...I don't have an orange scarf, but I do have a goat pin! See ya' then...we'll write the words for the beer song in norsk, ja? We can do it!
Have a good tuesday all!
you all are funny this a.m.--cursing away and daydreaming of the kinds of laws we REALLY need!
beware, fierceness follows:
i would lobby for annual payments to childless women for not contributing to overpopulation; licenses for parenting; outlawing of all growing and sales of tobacco (ex-smoker, so i have the right); and no talking on the phone while driving....
gosh, WHERE did my sense of humor go? i think i used to have one--
ok, trying to lighten up! i'm also for the four-day workweek, the cashew subsidy (yum!), universal access to ice cream, and tax deductions for goat farmers who set up retirement communes on their farms....oh, yeah, and medical use of marijuana legalized.
I love the rebels on this blog! Cursing as an art -that's brilliant!
I love Joan Baez's new cd, but would it be possible to hear some of the other songs on it besides "Scarlet Tide"? Perhaps one of the Steve Earle songs. Hearing "Scarlet Tide" several times during the day, today at least 3 in a 4-5 hour period is just a bit much. Appears that Jasper has a kink in the loop.
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