A Message to the Car Buying Public
Posted at 5:15 AM on May 19, 2009
by Dale Connelly
(38 Comments)
Am I the only one getting these desperate e-mails from Wally?
Hello.I'm sorry we haven't met, but if you are truly the Car Buying Public, I'd like a word with you. My name is Wally and I run Wally's Intimida, where we sell the Sherpa Sport Utility Vehicle.
It's a mighty big car.I have some good news I'd like to share. Today, President Obama is going to announce new, higher mileage requirements for cars sold in America. And I'm delighted.
You probably thought I'd be upset, and there was a time when I would have been, but that was the old me - the man who wanted to put a new Intimida Sherpa just barely inside every suburban mega-garage. Now I realize the Sherpa is not the car for everyone. It's the car for a few, very very special someones. And after in the not-too-distant future, the Sherpa will be the car for almost no one. Almost.
These new mileage rules will make a dinosaur out of the Sherpa.
I accept that. In fact, I embrace it. Especially the "dinosaur" part. Why? Have you seen the kind of prices they're getting for complete sets of dinosaur bones these days? It's incredible. Imagine how much money you could make if you had a real, living, breathing, earth-shaking T. Rex!Because that's the Sherpa - it's the T. Rex of cars.
And right now, you can buy a brand new Sherpa at bargain basement prices. In a few years, there won't be any new ones to be had. A few years after that, the Sherpas on the road will begin to fall apart. Within ten years, you'll hardly see them. And about 12 years down the road, there'll be a huge wave of nostalgia for the "big" cars of yesteryear. That's when your investment matures!
Yes, I said "investment". I'm suggesting you buy a Sherpa and put it in storage. As an investment, it will become golden when Americans finally look around and realize they are surrounded by other Americans driving identical, tiny, gas sipping teacups on wheels. That's when you will be able to sell your Sherpa to a grateful car collector.
Who will that be?
Who knows?When you buy a museum-quality Sherpa today, you're placing a bet that there will always be super-rich people who love classic cars. That's a pretty sure thing, in my opinion. Heck, Jay Leno's good for at least two more decades. Besides, how much better do you think your money will do if you put it in the stock market?
So put it in a Sherpa. Park that Sherpa in the garage or the pole barn or put it under a tarp for the next 12 years, and a scant three presidential elections down the road, remember this day! It's the day President Obama signed off on your retirement plan! A new Sherpa from Intimida. It's a Mighty Big, Mighty Profitable Dinosaur.Car, I mean.
Contact me, Wally, at Wally's Intimida, for a special private showing of this exciting opportunity.
I'm a sucker for a good sales pitch, but all my money is already committed to a strategic investment in Amish Fireplace Mantles. Does Wally have any takers?
Comments (38)
thanks, Dale - i can hear the sounds of the engines, horns beeping, and the lisping voice of Wally as i read. but, no - we're getting really, really good at not buying things (except vet care) lately. good morning All!
Do you think I could find one of those loan officers that helped people buy homes they couldn't afford who would help me buy a Sherpa? Maybe Wally could get a government grant to add a lot equipment to the Sherpa to power it by wind or solar power. It he did Sherpas might have a new market.
Sorry Wally -- I'm one of those who buys a car, and then drives it for years and years until it basically falls apart around me. If we go by the age of the last car at its demise (16 years), then I have at least 12 years to go before I'll be in the market again!
Morning Heartlanders!
Good morning, all!
Thanks, Barb and Jim, for the comments.
Actually, Jim, I think there was a Sherpa Hybrid at one point that purported to use wind power to sustain it's speed, thanks to a giant pop-up windmill on the roof. Once you got it going it would go forever and ever. As long as you didn't have to stop. Brilliant!
Good morning,
Jasper played my new favorite car song this weekend. I think "Slow Down Krishna" by the Bobs would help Wally move those vintage Sherpas in waiting off the lot!
Greetings Heartlanders! I'd love to hear anything by the Bobs. I feel bad for Wally, but I like his optimism and his well-framed sales pitch. But not so much that I would buy a Sherpa -- or any SUV, for that matter.
I keep waiting for my personal bailout or stimulus package before our 10-12 year-old cars give out. Have a beautiful day everybody!
Sorry Wally, sounds like most heartlanders keep their cars for years and years so can wait out presidents, stimulus packages and energy "solutions".
Of course then there's us with not one but two 10+ year cars, doing that falling apart thing Sherilee mentioned...
But then we're urban dwellers near bus lines and bike lanes! No Sherpa for us, thanks!
I think anything the size of a Sherpa parked around our house would inevitably become playground equipment and/or playhouse for Daughter and her pals. Though maybe that's as good a use as any for a Sherpa - I bet there's a way to attach an optional slide and tire swing it it somehow. The Sherpa - it's a might big play set.
The Brass Kings did a car song Sunday night that would also be fun to hear along with the Bobs "Slow Down Krishna" I don't think I've heard that one but if its the Bobs it's gotta be fun.....
Could you maybe fit in "Dyna Flow"?
I was told years ago to never invest in anything that eats, but it seems that is the only thing I have ever invested in...so, sorry, Wally, I have no money or space left to invest in a Sherpa sitting around waiting to become more valuable. Besides, I don't think I have that much future to spare.
On another topic...the first Oriole of the season showed up at my hummingbird feeder this weekend. Summer must be here, though the wind is off Lake Superior this morning and quite "bracing" for a summer wind.
Good morning all!
Good Morning!
Thanks for playing Jeanne's birthday request for me along with the Sarah Hammer and Connie Evingson's rendition of It's a Good Day which I had made a request for a while back. It's true that I have managed to wrangle a job out of this wretched economy and even better than just landing a job, it's a position that sits on the tiny little patch of ground between business intentions and technology implementation which is my sweet spot. Life is indeed good!
I don't plan to 'invest' in an Sherpa with my new found revenue stream though I do have my eyes on some upgrades for one of my bikes.
I hope everyone has as great a day as I plan to!
Congratulations, Mark! Glad you found not just a job, but a fulfilling position -- good on ya! Maybe your good fortune will ring true for the rest of us un- or under-employed.
Wally wouldn't like me as a car buyer either. I'm the owner of two long paid-for 150,000+ miles cars - a 1989 Ford Probe I bought in early 1992 with 206,000 miles, and a 1993 Chev Lumina with 160,000+ miles, bought that one in 1996. We do have an '02 Ford Windstar as the family vehicle. Never have bought a new car, probably never will.
With that, this isn't really a car song, but it's one I associate with the Tucker automobile from the movie of the same name(I think?). Got a version of "Hold that Tiger" by anyone Dale?
Yeah, Mike! great news!
reading all the comments this morning makes me chuckle - not a big Sherpa audience, Wally. and not much money to spend (except for contributing to RH, for sure) and rather non-audacious requirements for transportation. i have a 10+ year vehicle w/ 190,000 miles. and a 2-year-old "new" one that we hope lasts forever. my Dad never bought a car until he could pay cash and it was always (what we thought) a goofy looking one - not a hardtop, no fast engine, manual transmission, no dual mufflers, etc. and we always wondered why he didn't go for more glitz. he would laugh and feel vindicated if he saw our cars now.....
Clearly Wally has reached the car-not-buying-public in this forum. It seems like everyone has old cars ... so the potential is there but the financing and the will are weak.
How old ARE your cars?
We have 3 at our house - a 1993 Camry, a 1999 Subaru, and a 2008 Corolla.
howdy, gang--as i await the morning coffee, i'm catching up on the blog and listening in...
the idea of the sherpa as playground equipment brought back early Sioux Falls memories---at parks there, when i was a kid, we could play on a real tank and on a real plane! crazy--it was very fun...but of course, they are gone now in this over-protective era....anyone else remember those?
i won't be calling wally to invest, but i bet he's right about the coming wave of nostalgia for big cars....
how quickly we forget. remember when 55 was the speed limit to save gas?
off to the lobby for my caffeine--
and congrats, mark, on the new job! great news.:-)
Happy Birthday Mark and congratulations on the new job! I'll look forward to reading your future posts Can't imagine you sounding even more chipper!
About the Sherpa - highschool's the time I would have liked one. Think how many crazy teenagers could have fit in one for cruising. It would have made a popular date car too, if you get my backseat drift. (Not that I would know about such things - I teach young children for God's sakes!)
We have a '96 Pontiac Bonneville, '98 Ford Windstar and a '98 Ford GS something or other that hasn't run in 2.5 years (our 17-yr old at time, drove it after overheating). My husband keeps thinking we'll get money to rebuild engine ($2500-$3000). Not happening.
Both running cars have had expensive repairs in past year and need more, but that's not happening either. Keeping our fingers crossed!
Is there anyone else in Heartland who can't get the show this morning. Windows Media Player plays other things but not the show. I miss you, Dale.
My first car (of two, haha) was a '98 Chevy Prizm that routinely got over 40 miles per gallon (on the highway). I only sold it after it had 210,000 miles on it. I never had any major problems with it. It was a great car :) I then bought an '04 Chevy Malibu MAXX from my grandparents. It gets about 35 mpg on the highway...not as good as the Prizm, but not bad. Considering I drive a lot of miles on the highway (driving back and forth from MI to MN), it works for me :)
Congratulations, Mark, on the new position!
Dale and Mike, would you have "Terraplane Blues" for those of us who want a hybrid but can't afford one?
I don't quite have the record for mileage on a current car, but I think I have the oldest car posted about so far- a 1991 Toyota Camry with 196,000 miles on it. It runs great, except for a clutch that has needed replacing (according to the Toyota service manager) since 1997 and a muffler that is starting to make a bit of noise. I get well over 30 mpg on the highway and 25-30 in town depending on the season. I would be stupid to buy a new car that costs me thousands to run every year in payments, interest, higher insurance, etc. and gets worse gas mileage. A Prius will be nice when this one finally goes to the junkyard.
Thanks everybody for birthday and job congrats! There is a chance that the job will cut into my participation in this blog since I will be pedaling my way to work during Rh prime time. While it's well known that texting/blogging while driving is a bad idea, I can assure you that on a bicycle it's impossible though I do hope to be listening (with only one ear, safety first and all!) as soon as the update to the iPhone application is out that improves support for mobile iPhone listening.
As for being more chipper, Donna, it's hard to say if being fully employed makes one more chipper than enjoying a spot of mid-life retirement even if it was under-funded. I figure that even though life's circumstances are unpredictable and somewhat uncontrollable, we always have a choice in how we approach life and chipper just works better for me than sour.
As for vehicle ages, we have a 2006 Mazda and a 1992 Honda that I drive on those occasions that I use four wheels. Bikes in the household however, are generally newer than the cars though I do have a 1972 model that I would guess easily has over 50,000 miles on it as my 2006 road bike already has nearly 15,000 miles on it. I don't know if there is a conversion for bike/car miles like there is for dog/human ages....
Ahhh, Fiona Apple with Extraordinary Machine - exactly how I feel about the bicycle.
Oops! I missed Mike in Albert Lea's 1989 Ford Probe. Rats, thought I had the record there for a sec.
Hi Kay in Utah, (you lucky so and so) In Sioux Falls, that was Dennis the Menace Park. It had a fire engine for climbing too. Growing up on a farm was kind of like that park. I climbed on tractors, combines, horses...you name it. Once when I was 5, my older brother and I were sitting on a piece of equipment (turned out to be a sprayer) and it flipped over. I landed on my stomach and was pinned to the ground by some kind of bar that went across it. He wasn't strong enough to pull it off, but my mom must have seen me writhing from the kitchen window, and came running to the rescue. It didn't hurt - I just couldn't move or breathe. (look how close you all were to never knowing me!)
I'm very talky and giddy today because it's my first official don't have to go to work unless I want to day.
I let my first car a 1963 Ford Falcon red convertible (oh, to be young...) go after 150,000 miles and 20 some years to a young man who drove it to Califronia to be restored and used as a primary car for some years. When he and his wife broke up, he got the Falcon, but part of the deal is their eldest daughter gets it when he's ready to let it go.
My mechanic "suggested" I replace my '94 Ford Escort after 200,000+ miles (still running great) because the frame was so badly rusted he couldn't put it on the lift. that car replace a '86 Ford Escort that had 200,000+ miles on it as well, giving itself up to rust but still a great engine. Before that was an old VW Rabbit...and so on and so forth...now I am driving a 2005 (used) Vibe. It gets 37-40+ mpg, but not as good as those Ford Escorts...
Why is it when a company has a perfectly good model that has the bugs finally worked out of it, they drop it?
Congratuations Mark! Glad to hear it's not JUST a job.
We only have one car here... she's a four-year old Saturn (Ivy, the Ion). She replaced Civetta the Civic, who lasted for sixteen years!
Dale, please play something for Mark to show him I was kidding about the chipper remark. Wish I had such a positive outlook!
Hi Dale-
Can you fit in some Bruce Cockburn after 7:30 tomorrow? Thanks!
OK, it's really my husband's car, but I do drive it and it's our ride to work--it's a 1987 Jeep--older than both of our kids!
And I guess I should say that "my" car is a 1997 minivan with 192K miles.
But I do have to admit that we're looking for a newer car. Probably something a little smaller than a Sherpa.
My two regular commuter cars are a 1991 Subaru and a 1982 diesel VW pickup, which unfortunately is currently in the shop.
Diesels of that vintage are less than reliable in Minnesota's winter but the summer miles should make the Subaru last another ten years.
My dad was just like Barb in blackhoof's about cars, saved up and would always buy a year old one with cash. My husband is like that, basically, and thanks to his saving habits we have a year-old Prius that we really like. Our second car is our bicycles, mine a used 3-speed thrift-shop Schwinn from God knows when, looks to me like the '60s!
Waaay too late for any show requests I know, but could JASPER play some Jonathan Richman?
Didn't mean to start an oldest car competition, but I figured there had to be some even more 'experienced' vehicles out there than my '89.
I commute from Albert Lea to Owatonna for work, and both the Probe and Lumina get 25 mpg+ on the highway (plus I carpool with a co-worker), so economically it's better to keep these running with occasional repairs versus depreciating a newer car.
What a great morning, thanks everyone!
Well, my 1994 Volvo 940 Turbo is not the oldest, but at 278,512 miles, it may be the furthest driven.
My previous Volvo, a 1985 240, had 485,000+ when I gave it away. I was owner 3 on that one, and I traded a bicycle for it.
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