The Ominous Puffball
Posted at 5:15 AM on April 30, 2009
by Dale Connelly
(27 Comments)
In his press conference last night, President Obama talked about the surprisingly large number of challenges his administration has had to face in its first 100 days, most recently a possible flu epidemic and troubling instability in Pakistan.
He listed a few other emerging catastrophes, but said nothing about the dreaded menace that is most on my mind right now - one that is about to appear under our very feet.
They are coming and they are relentless and they will not stop until they cover the landscape. Entirely.
Since the president has put forward no coherent, multi-billion dollar federal plan to confront this literally emerging threat, I will be lunging at these infidels all weekend with a fork-ended metal impaler. Wearing anti-swine flu coveralls, if necessary.
I want these invaders to understand that I will show no mercy and will subject them to every form of persuasion available to get them to leave my yard and go to somebody else's, preferably a yard downwind from mine. And when I say "every form of persuasion" will be used, I mean every form short of chemical warfare, which I oppose because it smells bad.
But will I resort to torture? I will, even though it means casting all my moral guidelines aside. What sort of torture? I have no idea. I don't think they feel pain. And water just encourages them.
I suspect the form of torture I'm going to try will amount to self-torture, primarily in my shoulders, knees and lower back.
Life would be easier if I could learn to live with them, if not love them.
But how does one do that?
How do you feel about dandelions?
Comments (27)
Good Morning...Dandelions? I rather like them in their yellow stage, they break up the rather uninteresting sameness of one color of green. I have fond memories of the Dandelion wine my grandmother used to make. The bees make excellent honey from them. And, perhaps most importantly, the goats like them to eat them.
The early leaf shoots are healthy and good for salads or cooked greens. (early Stinging Nettles also are tasty and healthy, by the way).
The seed stage...well, they are rather gangly looking and refuse to be mowed down. But they make good entertainment for children and playful adults.
And one of my all time favorite books is Ray Bradbury's Dandelion Wine.
Dale, perhaps you need a couple goats to help you this weekend...
Good Morning Heartlanders!
Dale, as the the ruler of Dandelionistan, the chief exporter of lawn terrorists in my neighborhood, I say quite fighting. Stand and be proud of your lawn's accomplishments.
The natural order of the world is to be ruled by the sunny and then puffy order of dandelions. Your attempts at destroying them will never end their spring glory. Attacking them only inflames the passion for growth for those that will remain. If you continue to battle them, your insurance claims will cripple you for life (if your wounded back, shoulders and arms do not).
Nope, best go find a few young children and some paper cups---watch them joyfully pick the flowers, graciously accept the bouquets, putting them on the counters and table, and tossing them the next day. Breath deeply and blow the puffs away. (Towards the neighbor's house.)
Mornin' H'landers,
I consider dandelions food so there is no warfare at my house. It's so much easier to learn to embrace them rather than confront. I'll probably be 'harvesting' this weekend - leaves for salads and roots to dry for herbal tea.
Good morning Dale & Mike and Heartlanders everywhere -
I'm very excited to have won tickets to Friday's concert! Thanks so much! It's great for RH and MPR to pair up with the Cedar Cultural Center in presenting so much great music. I'm looking forward to hearing Peter Mulvey and Colin Hay with my friend Kathy.
My yard is a haven for dandelions. I don't use chemicals, so my yellow puffs are thriving. I think of the dandelion greens as an extension of my victory garden. I appreciate Cyncia's and Bob's sentiments - well said!
Kathy - good morning - thanks for chiming in about the dandelions. See you Friday night.
They don't bear fruit but you can make wine out of them!
Good Morning Rh,
This time of year, the children get busy picking dandelion bouquets during recess. I must not have the proper vase - they flop over and wilt from the start, but I pretend they're as pretty as roses. It would be fun to try to convince the kids to taste them!
I don't really like them in my yard. There, I said it. I also pay somebody to get rid of them for me. There, I said that too!
Remember, I'm not a minnesoootan!
Enjoyed the blog this morning! I cannot believe Obama overlooked this obviously growing crisis and will have to give him a "C" for a grade. ;-)
My neighbor neither mows her lawn nor does anything otherwise to prevent the spread of dandelions. Therefore, my attitude towards dandelions is one of resignation. Any effort to thwart their growth and development would be a vain act of futility on my part.
Still, I don't love them as I did as a child, when I would put them under my chin to make my chin turn yellow or gather bouquets of them to bring from outdoors to my mother, who successfully concealed her attitude towards them to enthusiastically accept them as the gift they were.
Good Morning, it is futile to chop dandelions off at the root--it only slows them down. The roots are very long and very deep. A person would have to use a shovel and dig a hole. That is more work than I would want to do. Leaves for natural greens, fried flowers in butter and flour, and of course the tasty wine makes dandelions a nice food source. How about a dandelion party? Get a bunch of people together and harvest them for a good time. This might be the start of a new holiday!
my goats prefer their dandelion leaves lightly dried and dressed with a fruity olive oil, a bit of vinegar, a few slices of pear or fig, and of course, a generous crumble of fresh chevre
i have two i'd cheerfully give away this morning, Dale. we moved Niblet and Majority into the Gentlemens' Club yesterday - and they are royally p***ed at me and yell at me at every opportunity.
in our sandy soil, the dandelions don't grow very well. our lawn (though we neglect it completely) is very healthy and has a nice bunch of seasonal bloomers - though not huge numbers - dandelions, violets, hawkweed (orange and yellow) and a bit of aster. maybe play "Let It Be" for those of us who aren't into turf management?
Hi Folks
Thot't I'd quick pop in--sorry to miss so much--springtime gardening mania, for sure.
Dandelions (Taxus officinalus, I think)?
Delicious, sauteed in a bit of bacon fat with some shallots, is my opinion.
Happy day,
Sheila Capistran
The other day I mentioned an Irish song. After a little research I found what I was looking for. It is called "The Orange and the Green" by the Irish Rovers (and others). It is about a mother and father of different religions and the effects on the family. Just wanted to clear that up.
Good Morning everyone…..
I am also very excited that I will be going to tomorrow nights show Bill won a pair of tickets so we will be there!
It’s a show I had planned on going to but I was too late in getting the tickets. Thank you Radio Heartland for making them available. (and for drawing Bill’s name)
Are there any other Heartlanders on the blog this morning that will be there besides Gail, Kathy & myself?
Gail & Kathy how will we recognize each other? Will there be goat pins or bandanas?
Good Morning!
Thanks for Sunny Road! I guess request radio isn't new but it seems different perhaps because I can make requests for things not in the top 40.
My sweetie is on your anti-dandelion team Dale and she has a device about three feet long with spikes on the bottom with a foot peg coming out the side. She centers it on the weed of choice, plunges it into the ground by stepping on the foot peg and then twists a knob at the top to extract a small plug of soil containing the weed. It's pretty slick and requires much less back breaking work.
I am totally apathetic about their existence but agree that they add a nice bit of yellow color to the landscape as well as red to my neighbor's faces. I'm just a Darwinian landscaper and think if it can survive who am I to intervene?
As for Sheila from Ada's recipe, I think just about anything sauteed in bacon fat is delicious but I do like them in salads.
I don't mind the dandelions in their yellow stage, but I like to get them out before they go to seed. I also have the spiked tool that Mark mentioned, but I get kind of tired of the clanking sound it makes, so I go back to the plain old forked tool. One must be careful to wear sturdy gloves, though, to prevent that blister on the palm by which dandelion persecutors recognize each other.
Brings to mind the Gillian Welch song "By the Mark"; any chance we could hear that?
it's amazing how we can chat about almost anything - serious to sublime
in my city days, Mark and Linda, i such a tool with the spikes. can't remember the name of it, but what i enjoyed was popping the dandelion out at the end of the extraction and seeing the offending plant sail in space.
i couldn't eat my dandelions because my neighbor believed in Agent Orange and had a sparkling green, chemically induced, lawn with nary a "weed" - a monoculture of Kentucky Bluegrass - and manicured gardens. the spraying would drift all over the neighborhood. i wouldn't go so far as spraying my dandelions, but for the neighbors i tried to control them. a futile effort. i don't miss that or the constant light in the night making it impossible to see the stars.
good morning to All you RHers.
thanks for "Let It Be" Dale and Mike!
Thanks, Dale, for playing Teddy Bears' Picnic, albeit a somewhat ominous sounding version. I had in mind the feel-good recording from the Keepers album. But the granddaughters will feel better just for having their names mentioned twice.
i'm with dale and donna on this dandelion deal--dig 'em up, spray 'em, whatever---we south dakotans don't like taking a passive attitude to things, right donna?
however, i'm willing to attend any dandelion party that is arranged and will taste all the ways to eat and drink them....and perhaps be persuaded! just tell me when and where, Mike and others!
i think Dandelion Day would be dandy!
i suppose someone on the blog could post some dandelion recipes for us backward, aggressive, armed folks :-)
Kate, I'll be wearing an orange bandana, somehow - and maybe I can talk Kathy into wearing one too. How should I find you and Bill?
Gail,
Look for a 50 something long curly grey haired gal wearing a lavender "music lovers unite" t-shirt.
I may print up one of Barb's pictures of Artie & Tammy and pin that on my shirt as well.
Bill will wear his Ketchup Advisory Board t-shirt if we can locate it.
And we will most likely have a Summit in hand.
See you Fri night!
Morning Heartlanders... just logged on. I'm in your club, Dale. I live smack in the middle of the city, with neighbors who care about how the neighborhood looks, so I do bow to convention (not sure they would call if I let the dandelions go wild, but I DID get a letter from the city about leaving my Obama sign up all winter....).
But like you, Dale.. can't bring myself to chemical them due to kid and dogs. So the forked stick, the gloves. But I always choose a pretty day and try to enjoy the fact that at least I'm outside!
Wish I could join you all at the concert tomorrow. I'd wear my goat pin proudly!
Have a great day!
My husband wages war on them, sits on the ground and does the digging route that Mike from Mississippi mentioned. I'll tell him about the contraption that sends them zinging through the air! :) My contribution is going into the neighbor's yard (he DOESN'T wage war on them) and picking as many as I can while they're still yellow.
Maybe this has already happened, but some day let's do a check-in on where everybody lives. . I'm kind of a latecomer to the blog, and pick up bits and pieces, but:
is Donna from SF now? (I was just there for a week)
It seems Kay H is from S. Dak.
of course some are obvious because of our names...
Have a great day, everyone, wherever you are!
The contraption that sends them zinging through the air is called a Weed Hound and it is an awsome garden tool.
Dale, I highly recomend getting one, it really saves the back!
Thanks, Dale, for the "Pickled Onions" song this morning! I got enough of the words that I can call my uncle to fill him in!
As far as dandelions go, I'll be joining you in the yard this weekend, pronged tool in hand. I just about fainted the first time my lovely Gran (in Maine) served me cooked dandelion greens and fiddlehead ferns in butter. Now I like nearly everything as long as it's saute'd in butter, but WOW, was that strange!
Hi Barbara from Robbinsdale,
Just curious - why would you want to spend a week in Sioux Falls?
Ah, my mistake. I've seen SF in your entries, and was thinking SAN FRANCISCO, where I visited my sister recently. :)
But you never know, I'll bet there are reasons to spend a week in Sioux Falls...!
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