Trial Balloon: January 15, 2009 Archive

Have you ever bitten anyone?
Is there anyone who might falsely accuse you of having bitten them?
Will you provide a saliva sample and a certified mouth print for our files?

Have you ever destroyed a piece of furniture?
Was it upholstered?
Was it historic?

Can you name something it is "wrong" to do on indoor carpeting?
What made you think of that example?

Do you consider yourself to be territorial?
How do you show an area or person is inside your "sphere of influence"?

Suppose you meet two foreign guests at a state dinner.
One smells like Camembert and baguettes, the other like raw meat, plutonium and vodka.
Would you show a clear preference for one over the other? How?

You are asleep under the desk.
People with stopwatches bustle in to set up some bright lights. Then your Alpha appears, sits at the desk and begins speaking in even, measured tones towards a TV camera.
You feel overlooked. How would you get his attention?

Bark
Lick his ankle
Play tug-o-war with his socks. While he is wearing them.
Lick yourself. Loudly.

A large, loud machine with whirring propellers lands on your lawn.
Do you ...

Fetch?
Play?
Heel?
Attack?

Do you have, or have you ever had, a problem with submissive urination when guests appear?
Are you intimidated by people in uniform?
Do you feel compelled to poke your nose underneath flowing robes?