The great fantasy: the campaign

Posted at 4:43 PM on August 30, 2006 by Bob Collins (5 Comments)

Marty Chicknavorian. That's the kid at the front of the class that always raised his hand and always had the right answer when I was growing up in my New England milltown. "Chicky" was a good kid and we were friends. He was a baseball fan too. But, truth be told -- as if it needed to be -- he was way smarter than me and once I accepted the fact that he really did have all the answers, any frustration that I didn't seemed to disappear.

Chicky would have made a good politician; at least in terms of doing a good job once in elective office (I think he became an optometrist). But he probably wouldn't have been able to get elected. See, Chicky looked smart and he just wasn't like everyone else. He was -- and I don't know how else to say it -- better than us. He didn't act better than us. He just was. We knew it. And we hated him for it, sometimes.

That probably would've turned off the electorate which, anecdotally, embraces the person who seems to have all the answers but dresses, looks, or acts like a "real" person. And let's face it: "real person" is someone who we believe actually could be as clueless as we sometimes feel.

When you think about it, it's one of the great paradoxes of politics. We want smart, but we don't want "too educated." We want someone with all the answers, but we don't want someone who we think thinks he/she has all the answers. We want someone who'll stand out. But we want someone who'll fit in.

I was thinking about this at the State Fair today as we strolled past the various candidate booths. I don't know how I could be a candidate for office these days because I wouldn't really know how to act. And, let's face it, if you're going to run for office, there's a fair amount of acting involved.

Everyone who knows the answer to everything raise your hand. Thank-you. Now, sit down because your votes are insignificant at this stage of the campaign. But for those of you who don't have all the answers and aren't sure what to do, welcome to the pressure cooker, because you get to decide the future.

Look at the poll numbers. Take the Star Tribune poll out of the mix, and they have hardly budged since January. Why? I'm guessing it's because the folks who didn't know the answers in January, don't know them now. And the folks who were sure what all the answers were, made up their minds early.

That's why I'm wondering when some acto...I mean, candidate -- will have a TV ad that says, "I'm X, and I don't know what to do about Iraq (for example). It's not a black-and-white issue with me because I see salient points on both sides of the issue." Could that person win after admitting that they really are like the people they're trying to sway? Would they be admitting that they're really like the rest of us? Maybe we have a few answers, but we don't have all of them?

What would your campaign commercial say? Me? It'd say, "I'm as concerned about the economy as you are and I don't have an answer for it because I don't think there's a magic bullet. I can only promise you that I'll get up early, stay late and work as hard at being a (position here) as you would if you were running for this seat. I know the price of milk. I know the feeling late at night when you start running the numbers for educating your kids in your head. I know the feeling you get when you buy a new tool at the hardware store and it says 'Made in China.' You're thinking: 'can't we make these?' and you're thinking 'have we peaked?' We have if you think we have. But if you think we haven't, then vote for me. I don't what good it will do. But there'll be someone representing you who is just like you."

I'd get crushed at the ballot box. Crushed. Why? For the same reason the local paper has moved the Hollywood page to where the editorial page use to be -- in Section A. We love our fantasies.

Comments (5)

Bob, please realize that this is only one person's opinion, but I feel like your lenthy diatribe belong on another kind of blog. I come here to read succinct postings by Tom and Mike on the latest political news. I think Tom is one of the best political reporters out there. I just started reading this in July, and your postings are a bit long-winded. Maybe MPR can start a new type of blog for you.

Posted by Mollie G. | August 30, 2006 5:23 PM

That's a good idea, MollieG, but here's the thing: MPR already did create a new type of blog for me. It's called Polinaut. OK, I lied. Polinaut was actually my idea and they created it at my request and, you know, it's done pretty darned well since I started it last December.

In July, I left MPR for two months off and now I'm coming back. OK, so you didn't miss me. Or know I was gone. It bums me out a little bit but that's the way it goes.

You're spot on regarding Tom Scheck and I presume his postings will continue once I return fulltime next week. The secret, then, is to scroll down past the long-winded stuff and read the short stuff, if that's what you like.

It's a great country.

Posted by Bob Collins | August 30, 2006 6:58 PM

I almost certainly would never get elected with campaign commercials I might run. There'd be a lot of money doesn't grow on trees talk and you, the voters, ultimately have responsibility for the kind of government you have talk.

Posted by Jeff | August 30, 2006 10:44 PM

I, for one, like your writing, Bob. Glad you're back.

As for candidates, am I the only person left in this country who wants to vote for someone I think is smarter & more knowledgeable than me? I don't really understand why you'd want a leader who didn't seem to have wisdom and vision.

Posted by Smartie | August 31, 2006 8:13 AM

I too welcome Bob back. Regarding leaders with wisdom and vision, sure, we all want that. But we distinctly do not want a poindexter-type policy wonk.

Posted by bsimon | August 31, 2006 10:24 AM

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