A confession

Posted at 10:39 AM on April 6, 2006 by Bob Collins

I was driving home last night and I realize I have a confession to make. I lied. I lied on my resume...sort of. While I realize this disqualifies me from ever running for office or being the CEO of RadioShack, I must confess for, my soul requires it. I realized it today when, after taking today and tomorrow off as vacation days, I'm sitting here -- still in my pajamas at 10:40 in the morning, watching Channel 17's broadcast of a House Committee discussion on a nothing bill setting up legislative training forums.

There's a half-built airplane in my garage and a winter's worth of dog...ummm.. contributions in my backyard to pick-up and here I sit...a legislative couch potato.

If that's not a sign of a tortured soul, I don't know what is. There's

OK here goes: in my high school yearbook (Fitchburg Mass. High School Class of '72), I lied about my scholarly pursuits. See, we got these little cards to write them down and I realized I hadn't done anything. Sure, I played three years of hockey (no goals, no assists and not much playing time on a team that went 0-19-1) so I wrote that down. I was sports editor of the school newspaper so I wrote that down. But it seemed so....so.....empty. And so I did it. I wrote down Latin Honor Society 2,3, 4 (sophomore, junior, senior years).

And they printed it. I thought I could get away with it. And I did. Fact is, when I was reading the Latin version of The Aeneid, aloud in class, I had actually written the English translation down in pencil atop the Latin words (thanks to the Cliff notes). And I made sure I made mistakes as I was reading.

I didn't think Mr. Boyle bought it because as I was reading, from way back in the class. He slowly started walking down the aisle and then stopped right behind me, as I clutched by book closer to my chest to block his view. Ex-seminarians make tough Latin teachers, so I thought he'd blow the whistle and recall all of the yearbooks and I would be left to live a life of shame, fingered as a Latin loser.

There, it's done. I have a clear conscience.

And so I can tell you about this.

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