Tiger talk

Posted at 9:53 AM on December 2, 2009 by Bob Collins (17 Comments)

Tiger Woods has issued another public statement about the domestic incident in Florida. Read between the lines and you can probably determine that he's acknowledging the rumors about his marital and family woes:

I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.

Although I am a well-known person and have made my career as a professional athlete, I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means. For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. The stories in particular that physical violence played any role in the car accident were utterly false and malicious. Elin has always done more to support our family and shown more grace than anyone could possibly expect.

But no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy. I realize there are some who don't share my view on that. But for me, the virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one's own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions.

Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone. I have given this a lot of reflection and thought and I believe that there is a point at which I must stick to that principle even though it's difficult.

I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology.

It's an odd thing, though, for a guy who's demanding (rightly so) his privacy, to open the comments section of his Web site on which his "apology" was posted.

So, that leaves us back to the greater reflection on society. If so many people think it's wrong to have marital affairs, why do so many people have them? As recently as the 1990s, that number was pegged at one of every 4 husbands.

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Comments (17)

@why do so many people have them?

I don't think many do, I think some times it just seems that way.

Maybe I'm a sucker.

Posted by BJ | December 2, 2009 10:20 AM

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Maybe the "wrong" is part of the fun?

Posted by Heather | December 2, 2009 10:32 AM

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//If so many people think it's wrong to have marital affairs, why do so many people have them?

like alcohol, drugs, shopping, gambling, eating...it is another diversion from seeking the truth of why the feeling of emptiness.

If WE looked within OURSELVES for the answers to OUR OWN problems, instead of grasping for the first exterior superficial and material sedative, WE might not have these kinds of problems.
AND
then there would be know need to worry about sweeping things under the rug.

Posted by regazzi | December 2, 2009 10:53 AM

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//who do so many have them?//

Ummm...because they can?

As to Tiger "Horndog" Wood's privacy request, he lost the right to assert it as soon as he went outside of his marriage.

Posted by bob | December 2, 2009 11:12 AM

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Please quit covering this tabloid story.

Posted by Alison | December 2, 2009 11:24 AM

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"Please quit covering this tabloid story."

What's curious is how much attention the tabloid stories get. We say we don't care, or that its beneath us, yet time and time again, the tabloid stories get the most hits & the most comments.

I'm also curious as to bob's reasoning. Is he saying an individual's right to privacy changes depending on which consenting adult he's behaving with? That seems ridiculous to me.

Posted by bsimon | December 2, 2009 11:39 AM

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bsimon, my POV is that consent isn't the relevant point; cheating is the relevant point. If that's ridiculous, I'm O.K. with that.

Posted by bob | December 2, 2009 11:50 AM

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1 in 4 husbands have them? What about wives? The men always seem to be painted as the ones at fault with this particular sin.

Right to privacy: public figures have a bit less entitlement to privacy, if they seek publicity.

Politicians automatically lose it when elected to office. The claim their moral certitude as qualification for office; therefore they are open to scrutiny about that claim's veracity. Their spouse/children, however, are entitled to the same privacy I am. They should be off-limits. Again - if they seek publicity, then they're fair game.

The big example is Hollywood movie stars. Brad Pitt can't exactly claim he's a private figure when his picture is on the cover of pop-star magazines at least 1 per month. Kevin Spacy, however, has never been seen on them. I would assume he doesn't want his life public, and therefore keeps it private; and therefore is more off-limits than Pitt. If he gets arrested for something stupid, well, that's publicity fodder.

Woods seems a bit toward the private figure. If his only public appearance / public personality is on the golf course, then - as he claims - his personal life (i.e., these events) should be off-limits.

Marital infidelity of U.S. Senators? Fair game. Screwing around of sports figures? Off-limits (unless they've made a public big-deal about their fidelity).

No, other than the spouse/child rule, there's no black/white for "famous" people.

Posted by Elizabeth T | December 2, 2009 12:23 PM

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//Please quit covering this tabloid story.

You'll note ---- as News Cut tends to do -- that the question at hand has very little to do with Tiger Woods, and focuses instead on a societal issue.

Posted by Bob Collins | December 2, 2009 12:26 PM

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@As recently as the 1990s, that number was pegged at one of every 4 husbands.

What kind of media sensationalist are you to put facts into a story.

how about this link http://www.parade.com/hot-topics/2008/09/truth-about-american-marriage

Posted by BJ | December 2, 2009 12:34 PM

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bob writes
"my POV is that consent isn't the relevant point; cheating is the relevant point."

its relevant between the cheater & their spouse, and perhaps directly interested parties (i.e. spouses). I don't see how its relevant between the cheater & the public at large. I suppose if we want to reinstate adultery as a criminal offense, it becomes the public's business to know who are the criminals we live amongst.

Posted by bsimon | December 2, 2009 1:48 PM

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Just want to clarify here that the "bob" posting in this thread is not the Bob who wrote it. (g)

Posted by Bob Collins | December 2, 2009 2:45 PM

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For my tastes, Tiger surrendered any reasonable expectation for privacy when he chose to pursue golf as a profession and he chose to endorse products or services publicly. He's a public figure and the fact is, if his behavior weren’t as risky and reckless as it appears to have been, we wouldn't be having this discussion. The amazing thing is how he was able to keep these dalliances--if they are all true--under wraps for as long as he did. He’s famous for demanding his privacy (he fired his first caddie and at least one swing coach because they talked to the media without his permission). This is going to cost him an awful lot more than just the dollars and cents.

Posted by Dan | December 2, 2009 6:14 PM

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this reminds me of a little book called the bible, and a little passage containing the phrase "he who is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone." tiger made a huge mistake and he knows it. but for people to hold court on his character as if they themselves are divine beings is ridiculous. he broke a vow with his wife and they alone can sort out that damage. it is not a public matter; he is not an elected official, no laws were broken, and i'm fairly certain that 99.99% of america has not spoken to tiger, his wife, or his extended family. maybe he is a bad guy, but i can't say because i don't know him personally and neither do you. but i do know that all of the people whose personal character i respect have made mistakes. it's called being human. and i guess that would be my answer to Bob's original question. people do things they know are wrong because no human is perfect. and no imperfection goes unpunished.

Posted by john p | December 3, 2009 9:34 AM

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....care to share anything with us johnny p boy? hows that rug looking?

Posted by regazzi | December 4, 2009 11:26 AM

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sweeping things under the rug is not the point. tiger's family is dealing with his "transgressions" and i believe they have the right to do that privately. i agree with your earlier comment about looking within ourselves to solve our own problems, but i guess i don't see how vilifying others for their problems fits within that framework.

Posted by john p | December 4, 2009 1:43 PM

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the truth of my comment is that when

or I should say

I feel that when someone pulls 'the bible" card they must be feeling guilty about something they did and since this surrounds a story of adultry I was wondering if you were feeling guilty about something. Being caught, and in conjunction with public scrutiny keeps the litter out from under the rug.

Posted by regazzi | December 4, 2009 4:02 PM

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