Things your parents told you

Next to Christmas week, this may be the slowest news week of the year, prompting companies and organizations to pump out an unusually high number of press releases. News organizations are hungry for the faint aroma of "news," so there's a pretty good chance that an organization's "story" -- and name -- will get on TV, the radio, or printed in a newspaper. Or a blog.

Sometimes the release involves things your parents never had to tell you, because they calculated at an early age that even you, for example, wouldn't be dumb enough to eat a glow stick. And if they did think you were dumb enough to eat a glow stick, they wouldn't buy you one in the first place.

Says Minnesota's Poison Control System:

A Glow Stick consists of a small fragile glass vial containing a chemical activator housed inside a larger plastic vial containing the dye solution. When the inactivated Glow Stick is bent, the glass vial breaks allowing the previously separated chemicals to mix. The resulting chemical reaction causes a non-heat generating light emission. While these chemicals are not very poisonous, the chemicals can irritate the skin and eyes. If swallowed, the chemicals can cause a burning sensation.

In other "news"....

Oh, by the way kids, don't do that, either.

So if you do go ahead and try that at home (or up at the lake) and feed it to the bears you can also have the answer to the age old question, "where does the bear sh---- in the woods?"

Those glow sticks are quite the blight on society, aren't they? They're these "super cool" things that are fun to run around with while you're waiting for the fireworks, and when you see another kid running by, you ask your parents, "pleeease? can we get a glow stick?" Sure, they light up for a few hours, but then the only conceivable way to keep them is to immediately stick them in your freezer. My parents fished out many an old glowstick during freezer cleanings over the years.

Will It Blend? is one of the most oddly compelling things on Youtube.

Mac--WHAT?! No way! How immediately do you have to stick them in the freezer? Can you play with them for a couple hours and then sustain the glow by putting them in the freezer?
I've never heard that! And I'm 32! Think of all the light sticks I've wasted!
And you're right, "Will It Blend?" is oddly compelling, indeed! I love that guy!