Posted at 4:41 PM on March 28, 2007
by Mary Lucia
(18 Comments)
No good can ever come from the following remarks..
1. "Would you be available to......"
2. "You probably don't remember but.."
3. "I know this is going to sound creepy, but..."
4. "I'm really not a stalker..."
5. "The people at my job are so crazy they should make a TV show! Just the other day, Jed from receiving..."
"Don't take this the wrong way..."
"Oh, gross! Smell/taste this..."
"This morning I noticed this growth..."
Who can forget..
"I met someone last night who says they know you"
"Hi (employee), this is (manager). Got five minutes to stop into my office?"
Does this make me look fat?
"Back when I was doing your job, I always..."
"Do you think it's inappropriate to..."
"We've serving hot dogs in honor of..."
When working in retail:
"Hi, I was in your store a little while ago, and..."
"Hey, I just ate your cheese and..."
"Hi, I'm Brain Fellow! ..."
George H from UMM, is that you?
Mary, I'm actually stealing this one from you, because it is so right on.
What you rarely want to hear when you answer the phone: "Where are you?"
Also, the time honored classic: "We need to talk."
Or pretty much any conversation that starts with "Listen..."
"Didn't I see you at...."
"You know who you remind me of?"
"Where do you work? Really? I have some opinions I'd like to share with you..."
"I'm behind you with a knife..."
"You know what's wrong with you?..."
"I'd really like to buy you a drink, but I have a bullet in my spine."
"Jesus, you smell like soup!"
Anything having to do with my pants that isn't "I like your pants."
"Can I tell you something?"
"I didn't want to bother you but..."
"Does this smell funny to you?"
"I hope this doesn't offend you..."
"You gonna eat that?"
You know I hardly ever do this...
To quote David Lee Roth (seriously)
"We need to have a band meeting."
"Don't worry, it's not loaded."
"This won't hurt a bit"
"I like mittens"
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