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worst song ever
Posted at 12:10 PM on February 24, 2007
by Bill DeVille
(51 Comments)
OK, I walked into a store they other day & there music system was featuring these bad 70's & 80's tunes. I heard "We Built This City" by Starship. I think it's the worst song ever. That line "Kneedeep in the Hoopla" drives me insane. I got outta there in a hurry!
What do you think is the worst song ever?
Comments (51)
I think you just nailed it, Bill. "We Built This City" leaves all other horrible songs in the dust!
4 Non Blondes "What's going on" makes me want to take a hostage.
"The Boys are Back in Town" - Thin Lizzy.
Might just be a personal thing though...
Where was I, though, when I heard that Celine Dion song from Titanic. Oh yeah, Byerly's. I nearly choked to death on my cheese sample.
Right now it would have to be a toss up between anything the Pussycat Dolls sing and anything from Fergie. When will these people go away?!
"Muskrat Love". Hands down. Though there are many in contention for my top 10. Geez the 70's were rich with musical crap, weren't they?
Apparantly Bill, you've never seen me karaoke "We Built This City."
"Here's your favorite radio station, in your favorite radio city, The city by the bay, the city that rocks, the city that never sleeps!"
It depends, of course, on how you define "worst," but for me it's "Horse With No Name." Y'know how sometimes bad songs can be fun to listen to because they're so bad? "Horse With No Name" is never fun to listen to. Ever.
Funny!... I have had this conversation many times and have long thought that "We Built This City" was the worst song ever... far above any other. It's barely even music. It represents everything bad about mainstream 80's music production. Do you remember how huge that song was?! A close second might be "Lady in Red" by Chris Deburg (sp) or that song Sting did for those Jaguar ads
oh! and Mary is also totally right on track with "What's Goin' on" Man!... Apparently Linda Perry (the singer) is on Kill Rock Stars now!(?)
A few years back Blender actually named "We Built This City" the worst song ever. Personally I'm going with Steve Miller Band's stinker "Jungle Love." It drive me mad. It makes me crazy.
Wayne Coyne sings "We Built This City" karaoke-style with a cable TV show puppet HERE
"St. Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion)" by John Parr and "Final Countdown" by Europe are both pretty bad.
"Final Countdown" is pretty bad but it's still got something. did i just say that? Speaking of "Final Countdown", the first time I saw Weezer, they triumphantly walked on stage with that song as their intro music lit only by the big W.. Speaking of Weezer and worst song ever, how about both "Beverly Hills" and "We're all on Drugs"?
How about Meatloaf's "Bat Outta Hell"? I hate that song with an undying passion. I don't even eat the food anymore, it conjures up such bad memories. Also, there's one other band that holds a special, very black place in my heart. I bartended for about 5 years, and am amazed and disgusted to find even wildly disparate people can all somehow gravitate toward the same exact lame song. I don't know its name, because I think I've blocked it out (and also what difference does it make, they all sound the same), but anything by the band counts. It can be two totally different crowds, but each night I was guaranteed to hear something. . by. . . JOURNEY---AAAAAAAAAGH! it still strikes fear in my heart! Ask a bartender what she wants to hear when you're playing the jukebox, and you're just as likely to get an admonition on what not to play ("Anything but [fill in the blank].").
virtually any song that'd be filed in the 90's "new country" category, "Achey Breaky Heart", "Friends in Low Places", "No One Else on Earth", etc.. worst genre of music ever!
My personal runner-up...Mr Roboto by Styx
So many choices.... but I think I'll have to go with "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time." It's only redeeming feature is its seasonality. I think it might actually suck some of the talent from Beatles, it is *that* powerfully bad of a song, in that it reaches across time and space and a synthesizer.
I must vote for "Mmmm Bop" by Hanson. Not only is it rage-inducing in its insipidness, but once you hear it, you can't get it outta yer flippin' head!
Okay, number one--Danny. Remember that you're in the company of an ex-Texan here. How quickly "Friends in Low Places" brings out the inner frat boy in me is directly proportional to the number of Shiner Bocks I've sucked down.
Number two--worst song ever. "Hey, Girl" by O.A.R. I think the genesis of that song must have been a creative writing class assignment instructing students to write a poem using every possible cliche they could think of. When I hear it, fire shoots out of my skull.
Aww, Bill, ya had to drop the Styx. I actually like that song. [sheepish grin]
And whenever I hear "Final Countdown" I think of Gob on Arrested Development. Priceless.
Arthur's Theme by Christopher Cross anyone?
I was in a particular big-box home improvement store the other day, and the music system there was playing "Cherish" by Kool & the Gang. All I could think was, "How is this song supposed to make me want to build stuff?"
Gotta Be Michael Sembello Maniac from Flashdance
Mmmm... I think Worst song ever is a future countdown in the making. Personally I go with anything played at Rainbow. I remember checking out one day when I became aware of the truly awful Celine Dion song in the background and offering my sympathy to the 20-something clerk for having to listen to it continuously.
What did Styx ever do to you Bill? You're killing me here!
Hot Child In the City - an insipid, pencil-necked little tune. Its existance is reason enough for me to refrain from gun ownership.... It beats Mr Roboto in my book, and even the nasty "We Built This City" has competent singing (crappy content aside).
Rock on from David Essex - Nuff said!
I must say, Bill, you really came up with a corker of a conversation topic here. Whoever said "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time" cracked me up, so I'll just agree with them.
Anything by Creed of Nickelback. or rather, everything by Creed and Nickelback.
Afternoon Delight is awful. What's even worse, is that in the 1970s my MOTHER had a t-shirt that said Afternoon Delight, so maybe that is the source of my hatred for the song. Scarred for life.....
This might need to be filed under the "So-bad-it's-good" heading, but I vote for "MacArthur Park".
If we're just talking "Meatloaf" here, my vote goes to "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I won't Do That). Lordy, what incredibly insipid lyrics. Dude should have quit while he was ahead.
P.S. Christopher, If Frick ever reads this you better watch your back! "Mmmm Bop" is one of his favoritest of guilty pleasures! Don't bring up "Sussudio", whatever you do...
This is a super hard and tricky question, actually. Almost as hard as favorite song ever written. If you think about the millions (?) of songs written since just, say, the beginning of recorded popular music, how can you possibly think off the top of your head of the worst song ever written? I mean, the WORST? I don't think Meatloaf even comes close to that category. But if we are going to stick with say, the worst songs currently in heavy rotation at various area jukeboxes, I'm going to stand by my earlier statement that "My Humps", (excuse me, "Grammy Award Winning My Humps") is still the worse piece of tripe to wash down the pike in the last decade. Also, "Rock Me Amadeus" could be used to break me in an interrogation scenario.
[Hastily thrusting "Falco" album under sofa cushion]
I heard one of my all-time worsts the other day, "Abra-Cadabra". Unbelievably irritating. I started mock singing the lyrics and the people around me were giving me the "what's HIS problem" look. No people, it is YOU who have the problem, you who are able to carry on a normal 4:00 with lyrics like this burning into your brain:
Abra-abra-cadabra
I want to reach out and grab ya
Abra-abra-cadabra
Abracadabra
PSHAW!
Jaqui, you're both completely wrong and completely right.
1) Pretty much ANY "new country" song makes me want to projectile vomit, for it's dependable combo of treacle, brainlessly-conservative narative and cliche, and musical formula that is so pre-digested that it's virtually designed to pass directly through the system as sonic laxative. But as the absolute nadir of this detestable form, I submit Nashville Star winner Buddy Jewell's tune, "Help Pour Out the Rain (Lacey's Song)", which I heard one afternoon while sitting in a Firestone Tire Center waiting for my car to be fixed and was so doubled-over in pain by the time it was over that I has to go home and Google the lyrics to see what the hell I'd just heard. We're talking a music atrocity the likes of which haven't been heard since David Geddes' "Blind Man in the Bleachers."
2) O.A.R.: "Hey Girl" absolutely wins in the category of Worst Song of All Time that is Not a New Country Song. And Jaquie, your reason why is as good as any as far as I'm concerned.
Lots of potential winners in this category for me.
From my days as an attendant at the campus arcade/pool hall in college I grew to hate "Fishin' in the Dark" and Steve Miller's "The Joker". I'd hear each of them at least once an hour, oftentimes more.
At first I thought "What's Up?" was reasonably catchy, but that only lasted through the first 2-3 hearings. After that it grew to wear on pretty gawdamn heavy, and I cannot stand it.
Somebody said "Muskrat Love" earlier. I'd heard of the song for a long time, but never heard the song itself until 2-3 weeks ago. Wow, yeah, that one's awful.
But the alpha and omega for me, I think, is "Baker Street" by Gerry Rafferty.
Sax-guy: Hey, Gerry, check out this catchy sax line I wrote!
Gerry: Kickass! How about I write a song around it that repeats it ad nauseum and throw in a cheesy synth sound over the top of it that sounds like a reject from the Star Wars tone-bank?
Sax-guy: (hesitantly)Well, that's not reall...
Gerry: (interrupting)not really necessary? Think nothing of it, my good man. In fact, to showcase your riff the rest of the song will stand in stark, boring contrast to it and be otherwise completely immemorable.
(Sax-guy throws up his hands in disgust, exits stage left)
A strong runner up would be the disco version of the Star Wars theme.
P.S. Christopher, If Frick ever reads this you better watch your back! "Mmmm Bop" is one of his favoritest of guilty pleasures! Don't bring up "Sussudio", whatever you do...
MmmBop is the greatest pop song ever. Almost.. it's very catchy. you have to admit it.
I have to agree with Mary L. on "What's Going On".. Linda Perry's voice inspires violence in me.
Also, that Edie Brickell song "What I Am" bites the big one. Thank god she went off to raise Paul Simon's bebbies.
ANd anything by Counting Crows.. Adam Duritz needs to be punched in the face. repeatedly. What a whiny simp.
I need to swtich to Sanka
I think that anyone who despises "We built this city" by starship should be flogged without any degree of compassion.
You guys are all Blinded By The Light, I mean like a Total Eclipse of the Heart! These are the Songs That Make the Whole World Sing! And We Are The World, We ARE the People. So, stop Worrying and Be Happy!
The Worst = 10cc "I'm Not In Love". A sappy, overproduced melodrama of a pop song. (Certainly not easy to dance to.) My benchmark for bad '70s music. There are some close 2nd place finishers already mentioned, but this 10cc tripe is finger-nails on the blackboard for me!
Did Ali mention "My Humps"? That one gets my vote. The first time I heard it was when my nephew (who was 3 at the time) was singing it and rubbing his bottom like in the video! Ewww
My runner up would be "Good Riddance" from Green Day.
I've changed my mind. After spending an hour being subjected to "Lite FM" radio in my Dentist's office this morning I have decided that the worst song of all time is Elton John and Kiki Dee's unforgettable 70s duet "Don't Go Breaking My Heart". Please pass the knitting needles...
My worst song ever, the one that makes me really cringe, that makes me want to throttle the singer, is that song "In the Year 2525." Anyone remember that? From the late '60s, I think. A song pretending to be terribly profound and full of the most tortured phrasing, just to get rhymes with the correct number of beats per line. (e.g., "In the Year 2525/ I'm kinda sorta wondering whether man is gonna be alive.") AAAAAACCCCKKKK!
It never ceases to amaze me how perfectly awful songs can not only get airplay, but become hits as well. "My Humps" is got to be the gold standard for this.
But let's leave Meat Loaf out of this. Bombastic, yes, overproduced, perhaps, but I know of few greater car song thrills than driving down the freeway by myself, stereo blasting and me screaming "...and the last thing I see is my heart, still beating, still beating, breaking out of my body and flying away, LIKE A BAT OF OF HELL!!!".
Hey, one person's tripe is another's delicacy.
All these comments and not a single mention of the lamest lyrics EVER... grade-school quality poetry:
It was a rainy night
When he came into sight,
Standing by the road,
No umbrella, no coat.
So I pulled up alongside
And I offered him a ride.
He accepted with a smile,
So we drove for a while...
(it never gets better)
My vote for worst song ever...the incomprably bad "All I Want to Do is Make Love to You" by heart.
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