Posted at 5:47 AM on December 26, 2005
by Euan Kerr
Enough of this being nice rubbish. What movie did you like least in 2005?
I always find it hard to suggest the worst movie of the year, because I don't see every movie, and avoid those I think would be a waste of time. That being said I have four nominations for the worst/most disappointing film of the year. Here they are in descending order
4) "40 year old Virgin": I know the Maven loved this one, but it just seemed sad and a little dopey to me. There were moments of real malice too, such as the famed chest waxing scene which quickly played out any humor and lapsed into sadism.
3) "Mary": Abel Ferrara's drama depicting a 21st century re-examination of Mary Magdalen took the Grand Jury Prize at the Venice Film Festival in September. It's been described by some as a liberal response to Mel Gibson's "Passion of the Christ." Ferrara, who's best known movie is probably "Bad Lieutenant," sets the story against a rising controversy around a film depicting of the crucifixion. The religious right hates it, and the star who plays Mary (Juliette Binoche) has disappeared in Jerusalem apparently consumed with a desire to understand the real Mary Magdalen.
Some critics have raved about "Mary" but I am with the large group of others who found it self-indulgent and confusing. Some people say it grows on you the second time you see it, but I'm not going to give it another chance.
2) "Gabrielle" Patrice Chereau got critical acclaim for his films "La Reine Margot" (1994) about the St Bartholemew's day massacre of French Protestants in 1773 and "Intimacy"(2001) where he directed a Hanif Kureishi story about a man and a woman who meet every week to have sex, an arrangement which works pretty well until the man begins to wonder about her husband, and about his own relationship with his estranged wife and children.
I had high hopes for "Gabrielle" which is based on Joseph Conrad's novella, "The Return." It stars two of France's great actors, Isabelle Huppert and Pascal Greggory. It's the story of an apparently happy and successful Victorian entrepreneur who returns home from work one day to discover his wife has left him for another man. As he tried to grasp what this means, she suddenly returns, throwing him into even more confusion. They begin to talk it out which results in an unexpected result.
I love Isabelle Huppert, but this film just dragged. It wallowed in every stereotype of repressed Victorians. Chereau has been directing a lot of opera recently too, and its shows in the film, with long speeches that don't seem to go anywhere, and then result in characters doing some wacky thing or other. I almost walked out of this one, but Chereau and Greggory were standing by the door, and I couldn't face the embarrassment.
1) "Dukes of Hazzard" I only saw this over someone's shoulder in an airplane, but the question has to be asked: what were they thinking?
So what are the worst movies on your list for 2005?
Possibly the worst movie last year was "Miss Congeniality 2 - Armed and Fabulous". This was advertised in Australia for weeks ahead before it came out, and was taken of main screen within a week. Shocking! If you were Sandra Bullock, Why in god's earth would you surrender to make such a crap movie. When they say in movies "when i looked at the script and i loved it" - you know it's going to be crap, and this movie certainly proved it!