Seems like when we were kids, we had a new cool insult word every week. (As someone often enough on the receiving end, I should know.) Dink, dork, dingleberry, dung beetle (science class was often a source for the insult-of-the-day). And those are just the D's.
As adults, the well dries up. We fall back on the same old standbys, like "jerk" and other more off-color options I can't write here lest I get a note from my boss.
Someone just flipped me a link to a list from Neatorama designed to give us some new (and printable!) options.
Lots of good nouns (I like "cacafuego" and "coccydynia"). But my favorite is probably one of the few verbs: "bescumber," meaning (ahem) "to spray with poo." Some possible applications I'm imagining:
* "Bob, I prepare for these meetings in good faith, and all you do is bescumber my proposals. I'd like to see you put something worthwhile on the table for a change."
* Look, I don't put myself out there on Match.com so I can show up for a blind date and have my life's ambitions bescumbered by the likes of you."
* Honey, I'm not sure, but I think the cook may have bescumbered my pork chop." (This is a more literal application.)