When grandparents step in to raise the kids

The number of grandparents raising their grandchildren continues to rise.

In Minnesota, 48,000 children live in homes headed by grandparents. That number has more than doubled since the 1990's.

The Minnesota Kinship Caregivers Association, a group that provides support to grandparents and kin who are raising grandchildren, says that the main reasons grandparents and other kin (aunts, uncles, cousins) are stepping in to take care of children are:

• Alcohol and drug abuse


• Child abuse and/or neglect


• Mental health problems


• Teenage pregnancy


• Family violence


• Unemployment


• Incarceration


• Abandonment


• HIV/AIDS


• Divorce


• Poverty


• Death.

Linda Hammersten is the program manager for GrandFamily Connection at Lutheran Social Service. She says that sometimes the grandparents haven't planned for this to be a permanent situation:

"The kids will be dropped off and told by the parents that they'll be back in a couple of days or a week," she says. "And they simply don't return."

Or maybe there's police intervention.

"The mother maybe had the kids in the car and is picked up by the police for a DUI," says Hammersten, "and the police will contact grandma and ask if she can come and get the kids. And she goes, of course."

Eight years ago in the United States there were 6 million children in informal custodial childcare arrangements, mostly with their grandparents.

In 2007, that number rose to 6.7 million.

Grandparents face many challenges when they bring their grandchildren to live with them.

They might spend a lot of money --even their retirement savings-- taking care of the basic needs of the kids.

It takes a lot of energy to keep up with children, and many grandparents find that they become exhausted from the day to day care.

Lugene Flores is raising her six granddaughters, who range in age from one to sixteen.

She gets up at four in the morning so that she can have a little time to herself, and to get a load of wash in the dryer before the day starts. Her granddaughters begin getting up at 5:30 and by 8:00 a.m. all the girls have left for school and she's heading out the door to drop the baby at day care. She works a full time job, but by 4:30 p.m. she's back home to start dinner and homework with all her grandkids.

"I drop into bed at 11 p.m. when everyone else is in bed," says Flores with a sigh.

Grandparents might feel isolated from their peers. They're strapped to a childcare schedule while their friends are traveling, going out to movies and concerts, and leading a child-free retirement.

Lugene Flores has a friend who headed off on a road trip to Colorado. "She just rubbed it in my face that she just has to get in the car and go because she doesn't have any kids at home anymore," said Flores.

And sometimes the adjustment from the traditional idea of being a grandparent--an adult who can visit, spoil the kids, and go home-- to a grandparent who needs to enforce discipline, provide for basic needs, and be completely responsible for the kids, is overwhelming.

In Minnesota, there are several groups that reach out to grandparents and other kin to help them feel supported in their work.

They offer support groups, legal information, and referral services to families who are learning to adapt to the needs of their grandkids, and themselves.

Sharon Olson has been a custodial grandmother for 14 years. She's the vice president of the Minnesota Kinship Caregivers Association board of directors.

MKCA wants lawmakers to know the problems that grandparent caregivers face.

Grandparents who have custody of their grandchildren don't always have access to the resources that foster families qualify for.

Olson says that grandparents need to work together to let the legislature know that they need resources for these children: medical assistance, counseling, and basic funds for food and shelter.

"It's our stories that finally push any changes through that we might be able to make," Olson says.

She's getting ready to go the Grand Rally in Washington D.C. on May 7, 2008.

Grandparents will gather together that day to connect with each other and to make their needs known.

There will be a Grand Rally on May 6 at the Minnesota State Capitol.

Do you know a grandparent raising a child?

What do they say are their challenges?

Resources:

The Minnesota Kinship Caregivers Association

Legal Steps: Kinship Caregiver Resource Manual

Grandparent Programs, from Kidsource

GrandFamily Connection: Lutheran Social Service of Minnesota

Full Circle of Care: Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

Generations United

"How's the Family?" podcast: a conversation with members of the MKCA

Grand Rally, May 7, 2008--Washington D.C.

Thanks for this blog entry and story on the radio during Morning Edition. On the radio this morning, a grandparent spoke about caring for his grandchild in foster care and receiving a payment as well as medical coverage. He noted that when he assumed permanent legal and physical custody of the child that the payment and medical coverage ended. I want to note that, while a foster care payment may end when a permanent arrangement is made, relative caregivers are able to apply for an MFIP child only grant at their county social service agency to assist them in caring for the children. While the child only grant payment is not as large as the foster care payment, it is something and medical coverage is also provided. Food stamps may also be available to assist with the cost of raising the child.

Relatives who transferred permanent legal and physical custody through juvenile court (rather than family court) as a result of the child being placed in foster care and have an income less than 3 times the federal poverty guideline may also be eligible for Relative Custody Assistance, an additional monthly payment.

Thanks for your comment, Amy.

The grandparents I spoke to discussed with me the difficulty of applying for MFIP funds. They described having to reapply often.

There’s two bills being worked on right now in Minnesota: The Kinship Support Program and the Kinship Navigator Program.

The Kinship Support Program would give caregivers their own category when applying for what’s called the child only grant. The state money to support the wellbeing of the child would follow the child and the application process would be easier and more stable for the grandparent or kin when they are taking custodial care of the children.

The Kinship Navigator Program is a bill being worked on that would provide money for support groups, networking, and legal advocacy.

Another cause of grandparents raising their grandkids or spending significant time caring for their grandchildren is cancer or other health crises, that may render parents unable to provide much care even though they are still in the picture or would like to.

It's true. When illness strikes, grandparents and kin (aunts, uncles) often step in to care for the children. I know one grandmother who has her grandchildren every day all day long because the mother is sick. She has a room full of toddler toys at her house. She shakes her head and says, "who would have thought I'd have toys (and cribs, and baby food, and strollers....) in my house again?!!"

Please note:

May 6 is Grand Rally Day at the Minnesota State Capitol.

The Minnesota Kinship Caregiver's Association has details.

Nanci Olesen